Lady in Waiting
by Expert Shinobi
Summary: Almost a year ago Sasuke left her with a promise to return. Shortly afterward, she fell apart. Now, Sakura wonders whether he ever had the heart to love her and if she really has the will to stay. What starts as a two-week vacation away from Konoha turns into an reckless journey to form her own path. Set after chapter 699, before 700. SakuraxGaara
1. Punchdrunk

_It's been a long time since I've written Naruto fanfiction, but Naruto was one of the first manga I ever read and I truly loved the story and the characters, so I wanted to get back into it with something new. Unfortunately, I fell off reading the manga when I felt as though things were getting drawn out. Recently, however, I spoiled myself on the ending and while I wasn't incredibly angry with the pairings the way some were, I did feel a bit disappointed. I'm not someone who is a diehard Sakura/Naruto fan, but I never did have strong positive feelings toward Sasuke, and I feel that despite all he's been through, Sakura were never a right match. I wanted her to transcend that childhood crush and fight for herself, rather than for the sake of someone who didn't seem capable of giving a damn. Regardless of his past and struggles, I thought she deserved more, and to find her own way._

_I know a lot of people don't care for Sakura, and I certainly wavered between loving and wanting to strangle her at times, but one of the reasons I do treasure her character is probably the reason a lot of people hate her. She's just so… normal. She doesn't have a tragic backstory, she doesn't have some great powerful destiny, but still, she's grown so much and through it all manages to show up, stand tall, and fight for who she loves. Sure, she had a ridiculous childhood crush, but it's also incredibly real. When you're that young, you tend you think in absolutes and that you can save someone with the power of your will and love. As a friend, Naruto was able to bring Sasuke back, so we're supposed to believe that with love, Sakura could do the same, but that's the area where I could no longer suspend disbelief. I don't think Sasuke could ever love Sakura the way she needed to be loved, and I don't necessarily think Sakura could ever truly deal with the wandering, distant man that Sasuke will always be (imo). But hey, that's me. Thoughts and opinions! Anyway, I love non-canon pairings and I love Sakura, so I hope you enjoy this fic!_

_Also don't murder me. I never finished "On Her Sleeve" because it was written so, so long ago. But, I really want to pick it up like "Bearing Blue" for a total retcon. I'll keep you posted!_

* * *

**Lady in Waiting**

**Chapter One:** Punchdrunk

* * *

Ichiraku was live with bodies and cheer. Sakura could feel it before she even entered the room. It was a fitting place for the party. So many memories. Ever since Naruto had first set foot there, it seemed it'd been blessed with good cheer. Through wars and rivalry, food shortages and Naruto's morning after binges, the smiling faces and fresh noodles remained a friendly constant. Years went by and the once small ramen bar expanded into a full-fledged restaurant. Teuchi and Ayame were never short on food or customers.

Ichiraku had always been a place of celebration. And yet, there, that night, Sakura stood in the doorway, clutching a pink giftbox to her chest, scared to enter. She'd spent most of the night at her apartment, fussing over what to wear and taking shots of liquid courage between outfit changes. She settled on an open-backed white minidress, but her stomach couldn't take the hint.

It shouldn't have been this way. She shouldn't have felt like this.

Her best guy friend, and her sweetest girlfriend getting engaged. It should have sent her heart soaring, but whenever Sakura looked at the empty space in her bed, and stewed alone on nights just like this, it left her breathless and desperate.

"Yo forehead!"

The familiar taunt sent Sakura rigid, and she spun around to see Ino rushing toward her, carrying a bouquet of pink and yellow flowers.

"Ino…" Sakura squeezed her own gift a little harder, unsure of what to say.

The blonde sprang forward, laughing, and Sakura took note of her perfectly curled hair and painted lips.

"What are you doing hanging around outside? Did we miss the party already or what? It's only an hour in, and there's no way that blonde troublemaker would—

"—I haven't gone in yet," Sakura admitted, and Ino screwed up her face in confusion.

"Really?" She leaned in and took a deep inhale. "Because you smell like a brewery."

"Yeah," Sakura chuckled. "I got a little excited back at home."

For a second, Ino looked unsure, but before she could start up with a game of 20 questions, their favorite blonde troublemaker burst through the cloth doorway with a shout.

"Ahhh, I knew it! I knew I heard you guys out here!" Laughing far too loud, Naruto sprang forward and hugged both girls around the shoulders. He'd clearly had his own share of drink already, and luckily for Sakura, Ino immediately turned her attention to that.

"Jesus, Naruto! Quit trying to kill us you dumbass!" Ino managed to pry her way out, but the blonde tugged Sakura forward toward the bar.

As soon as she stepped in, Sakura was overwhelmed by light and noise. It seemed like everyone Naruto had ever met had shown up for the engagement party. Lee and Tenten, obviously fueled by alcohol were doing a raging round of karaoke in the corner, while Hinata, face on fire with blush, sat between Kiba and Shino who were happily trying to engage her in drinking games. Sakura couldn't help but stare. The Hyuuga's long, raven hair was pinned back with a toy tiara and veil. Her eyes, so pale and clear, seemed to shine with joy. She would be a beautiful bride, Sakura thought.

"I'm so glad you came, Sakura-chan." Naruto completed the circle with his arms around Sakura's shoulders, and leaned in for a tight hug. "It's never the same without you."

No matter how strong he got, or whatever ridiculous thing he did with his hair (this month it was a close buzz cut), the blonde's warmth never changed. Smiling to herself, Sakura nodded, and reached past Kakashi at the bar with Guy for his half full glass of sake. Behind his mask, the copynin frowned, but she paid it no mind.

With Naruto still glued to her side, Sakura searched the crowd for Ino again, only to find her cozied up against a strangely peaceful looking Sai.

When did this happen? She thought. When had everyone gone and paired up?

"I know. It's weird, huh? Even boring-ass Shikamaru started going on 'vacation' trips to Suna recently, and we all know what that's about."

It wasn't until Naruto responded that Sakura realized she'd spoken those thoughts aloud.

"And once Sasuke gets back, you guys totally next." He laughed, but just the mention of the dark-haired shinobi made Sakura feel ill. Swallowing down her drink, she passed her gift along into Naruto's open arms. It was a figurine. Or something. She couldn't remember now in her tipsy state.

"_If_ he comes back," she chuckled, but Naruto immediately picked up on the bitter tone in her voice. Though the blonde was famous for being a bit dim at times, when it came to his friends, the man was Einstein.

While Choji whizzed past them to jump up next on the karaoke stage, Naruto pulled the pinkette to the side, back behind the bar with the stereo equipment.

"What do you mean,_ if_?" Naruto's bright blue eyes took on a dark tinge, and Sakura shook her head to clear the bitter haze. "Just a few months ago I thought you said he—

"—I'm only kidding!" She blurted, rubbing the back of her neck in a rather Naruto-like fashion. "He promised, after all. I'm just…just a little stressed. If Hinata was out traveling who-knows-where doing god-knows-what for ages, wouldn't you be a bit freaked?"

Naruto eyed her carefully before bursting into a grin.

"Ah, I dunno. My Hinata's pretty strong! She could take care of herself," he joked, and then when Sakura rolled her eyes, placed his hands on her shoulders again.

"Don't worry, I get it," he leaned in close – too close, and Sakura closed her eyes, drinking in the feeling of the sake in her tummy, and his warmth.

She'd begun take to take notice of that warmth, and that determination during the war, but it wasn't until things had settled and Naruto began spending more time with Hinata that the feelings of love and admiration had slowly morphed into a stinging jealousy. Sasuke had left her with a promise, but with every passing day, she wondered if that was enough.

"I really missed out, huh?" Sakura blinked open her eyes to stare up at Naruto. In the dim lighting of the restaurant, his calm eyes seemed so strong and sure.

But he frowned, confused, and goosebumps prickled on Sakura's pale skin.

"Sometimes I think I followed the wrong man." She touched the collar of his shirt, but almost immediately, the sober part of her screamed no.

'_WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!'_

"Sakura enough…" Naruto turned his head away, as if looking for someone to save him.

"Yeah, I know," She scoffed to herself, picking up another discarded glass from the counter and sipping. "Too little, too late."

"That's not what I mean," Naruto pulled it form her hands. "We both know where this is coming from, Sakura-chan. You'll always be my friend, but Sasuke—

"—why does every conversation with you have to revolve around him?" She snapped, but before Sakura could take another step, the curtain parted and a pair of familiar grey eyes were trained on them both.

"Sakura-chan…" Hinata stepped forward from the front of the bar, her hands clasped in front of her. Instead of wearing her usual radiant smile, she curvy girl looked tightlipped and embarrassed.

"I'm-I'm happy you came to celebrate but-but I think that maybe…maybe now you should leave?" Her pale cheeks were warm with blush, but Sakura could hear the warning tone in her voice. She'd grown as well. And not just to be beautiful, but a force to be reckoned with.

Sakura looked to Naruto for help, but his gaze was on the ground behind them, where she caught sight of the spare karaoke microphone, still very obviously connected to the machine.

It was then she noticed the silence of the once rowdy restaurant, and that Choji's voice was nowhere to be heard. Just the soft echo of the Hyuuga's pleading.

"I-I…" Sakura covered her mouth with her hands, and pushed past in a hurry. As soon as she popped back into the front of the restaurant, she could see everyone staring sadly, or looking away in embarrassment. Even Kakashi wouldn't meet her gaze.

Sakura immediately wanted to apologize – to prostrate herself and make it all go away, but it wasn't the time. She was trashed, and it was _their_ night. They deserved to have all the cheer and celebration possible. After everything Naruto and Hinata had gone through – together, apart, they deserved it all.

Without another word, Sakura rushed out the door and in her drunken stupor, as far from Ichiraku as she could manage.

'_You never should have come.'_

"I know that," Sakura muttered to herself, and looked up to the sky, sighing aloud. A full moon. So beautiful.

Hiking up the edge of her dress, Sakura managed to launch up from the ground and into the nearest treetop. From there, she scaled from branch to branch until she landed on the rooftop of the old schoolhouse. Sakura loved heights, and at that moment, it seemed the best way to distance herself from everyone and everything.

Or, so she thought.

"Haruno?"

A smooth, deep voice shocked Sakura out of her trance, and made her heart catch in her throat. That beautiful, low timbre…

_It couldn't be…could it?_

As she cocked her head to the side, a shock of red hair come into view, and then the tan curve of a gourd.

_No._

"K-kazekage-sama…" Sakura tried to hide the disappointment in her tone, but when she turned to face Gaara completely, she saw a flicker of something in his eyes.

_Annoyance?_

"What are you doing up here?" Sakura rose to her feet on the roof, leaning up to close the distance between them.

Still more than quite buzzed, she only realized their closeness when Gaara took an awkward step backward.

"I could ask you the same, Haruno." There was a hint of dark smile on his lips, and it ticked Sakura off. The silly smirks boys made. As if they knew it all.

'_Fuck you.' _

"But you didn't," Sakura huffed. "And I asked first, so the least you could do is answer the question." She stumbled a little on the roof, and at this, Gaara seemed distressed. With a heavy sigh, he stepped into the tipsy kunoichi.

"I came up to see the moon," He offered. "Full moons are soothing. It's a beautiful night to meditate."

Sakura chuckled to herself. Gaara's explanation was quick and succinct. Even after so much time had passed, and so many things had changed, the Kazekage always managed to be serious and brooding about something.

"Tonight's a night for indulging. It's supposed to be a joyous occasion, you know," Sakura frowned, thinking of the way she'd embarrassed herself at the party. Gaara eyed the pink haired girl somberly. He wasn't the type who could read women easily, but could easily sense the bitterness in Sakura's tone.

"I don't drink," he admitted, still watching Sakura's steps carefully, ready to send his sand out to catch her if necessary.

"It's an engagement party," Sakura spat. "Why don't you just indulge for once?" Inside, she was fuming. The way Gaara stood there, so cool and collected… it reminded her of _him_, and drove her up the wall.

"Haruno, it seems you've done quite enough of that for us both tonight." Gaara said it, and immediately regretted it, because despite the fact that he meant to be lighthearted, it was clearly too soon for the drunken pinkette.

"And what do you know about it?" Sakura finally snapped, launching towards him.

'_Calm down. He has nothing to do with this,'_ she told herself, but by then, it was too late.

It only took a moment. A split second and she lost her footing, tumbling down off the roof. Sober, she would have been able to right herself, but bogged down with alcohol, Sakura couldn't make heads or tails of anything. Immediately, a pillow of sand shot out and caught her as she tumbled down. Gently, Gaara righted her on the ground, and jumped down to meet her.

"Are you all right?" His cool monotone reached Sakura's ears and she shivered, feeling truly pathetic.

"Thank you," she mumbled. "I…I don't know what I was—

"—There's no need for all of that," Gaara insisted. "Come. I'll walk you home."

Sakura stared at the redhead, dumbfounded, Gaara was obviously in town to support Naruto. They were the ones with the true bond of friendship, and there she was, becoming a nuisance.

"You don't have to do this," Sakura spoke as Gaara turned his back on her to start walking.

"I know I don't _have _to. But I _want _to." Gaara shifted his hands into his pockets. "All the noise back there was overwhelming. I could use a walk now."

_'Apologize.'_ Her heart told her._ 'Apologize again.'_ But Sakura stayed planted.

"And…of course, any treasured friend of Naruto is a treasured friend of mine," Gaara continued, and Sakura felt a shameful warmth creep into her cheeks. After her drunken show at the party, she wasn't sure how much of that was true anymore.

"I made a mistake tonight," Sakura blurted. She didn't know why she was telling the stoic-looking man before her. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the way the moon shone against his pale skin, making him look so soft and young. "I don't know if I can fix it."

"Times of great joy often bring great sorrow," Gaara offered. "It's not my business to know why, but do know that I understand. It's easy to feel alone in a group of people."

Sakura's breath caught in her throat. Of all the people…she'd never expected this form him.

Wordlessly, Sakura stepped forward to meet Gaara, and tried her best to keep her footsteps steady as she lead the way home. And so they walked. Sakura in front, Gaara following slowly behind, silently on the lookout. When the pink haired girl slumped against her door, looking up, Gaara had already started to turn around. Panicked, she reached out for his arm, but missed and caught his hand instead.

He was so warm, it shocked her.

"Haruno?" The Kazekage turned, and Sakura imagined him raising a brow.

"You…you should come in," she said it softly, but judging from the ever so slight tinge of pink that dusted Gaara's cheeks, he'd heard her clearly.

"That's not necessary," he said, but made no quick move to pull his hand away. Instead, without thinking, he ran his thumb across her knuckles. Small, fragile bones beneath the pad of his fingertip. Strange. The intimate contact was something he wasn't used to, and it intrigued him.

Sakura, pleased by his warm reaction, pulled him forward, to her chest, silently wishing there was something larger there to cushion him.

"They all have their place," she tried hard to keep from breathing sake against his face. "Let's find ours. Here. Tonight."

At that, Gaara's gaze became strangely soft, but he pulled his hand away to rest flat on the top of her head. Almost immediately, Sakura felt tears welling in her eyes.

He, too, was set to leave her.

"Your time will come too, Haruno. And mine. Don't be afraid to wait." Gaara, said, and moving slow, as if he'd never done so in his life, gave Sakura's hair a stroke.

Sakura reached for him again, but before she could open her mouth, the redhead was gone in a flurry of sand.


	2. Pink Slip

**Title: Lady in Waiting**

**Chapter 2: Pink Slip**

**AN**: I'm not sure if many people are reading, but thank you for those who are! And to my first reviewer, **Mitchell343e!**

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Sakura woke up with a hangover and heavy heart. As soon as she opened her eyes to face the day, the reality of the night before came rushing back at full force. The sake and the karaoke, cornering Naruto like an idiot and Hinata's flushed face...

And then there was Gaara.

Heat flooded into her cheeks at the memory of how she'd propositioned him, and how easily he'd turned her down. Honestly, she didn't really know what else she should have expected from the man. Gaara had remained level-headed as always, but what tore her apart the most was the unbearably kind and gentle way he'd reassured her of the future.

Sakura had never known him well, but in that moment… she wanted to. Still dazed, she closed her eyes and imagined his face again – soft and boyish in the moonlight.

"Ugh." Sakura sat up and pressed her face into her hands. "Fucking know-it-all."

At the end of the day, she'd humiliated herself in front of all of her friends, and ruined a special night for HInata and Naruto. Those two, more than anyone she knew, deserved to be happy, but still, Sakura couldn't get the jealous thoughts out of her head. Why couldn't it have been her? She wanted it too, after all. The love and the peace.

But there she was, alone. Sasuke had up and left her again. Waiting. Waiting for him to decide when it was time for her life to start. In the meantime, it was as if her life was in "rinse and repeat" mode. Get up, go to work, treat patients, eat, sleep, and do it all over again in the morning.

'_Get over it,'_ she told herself. _'As long as you're here, you're stuck waiting for him to come home to you. If he ever does.'_

Under any other circumstances, Sakura would have spent the rest of the day curled up in bed, but something inside pushed her to get up and moving. It was the same something that had hardened her heart against a certain Uchiha, and had her itching to run.

Head still hammering, she pushed up from bed and changed into a pink sweatshirt and dark cargo pants. Winter was coming, and she could already feel the chill settling into her bones. Without bothering to do her hair or wash her face, Sakura began going through her drawers. Shirts, skirts, pants, shorts - she grabbed all she could and began shoving items into a large rucksack. By the time she'd finished, almost all of the drawers had been cleared, and the space no longer looked like her own.

It had been a full month since she'd slept in that bed again. Since all the blood and the tears and lonliness. In her head, Sakura heard herself screaming.

_'It's about time I did this,'_ she told herself, shaking her head to clear the dark thoughts. _'If he gets to pick up and run away from his life, why not me?'_

With a heave, she strapped she bag to her back and headed for the door. Sakura felt like she was slowly going insane, but hell, at least she wouldn't have to do it there.

* * *

"I need a vacation," Sakura announced as soon as she set foot in Tsunade's office. She'd moved as quickly as possible through the city, determined not to run into anyone she knew. And she was successful. Now, all Sakura had to do was get permission to break free.

The buxom blonde hokage was elbow deep in paperwork, and looked highly amused by the declaration. Sakura knew she was preparing to step down and hand off the seat to Kakashi soon, but clearly there was still quite a bit to get sorted, first.

"Yeah? Well me too." She poured herself a glass of sake and offered Sakura a seat. "What else is new?"

Before Tsunade suggest a drink, Sakura shrugged off her rucksack and tossed it into the chair across from them. It landed with an obnoxious thud.

"No, I mean… I've earned a vacation," she blurted it in a rush. "I'm going. I have to leave. Today."

"Today?" The blonde woman's voice became sharp, but then upon observing Sakura's stiff form, she sighed. "Sakura, what's going on? Why now?"

Sakura forced a smile on her lips, but as she crossed her arms in front of her, couldn't help but dig her fingernails into her skin.

"I've just been a little stressed, and I think-

"—I heard about what happened last night," Tsunade interrupted the lie. "At the engagement party."

There was a stark silence in the room, and Sakura felt color rising into her cheeks. Of course. Of course it would get back to her. Kakashi had been there. Guy, Yamato…

"I wasn't going to mention it," the blonde spoke before Sakura could muster anything. "It's not relevant to your work here, and you're an excellent medic, but—

"—but what?" Sakura clenched a fist, wanting to slam it straight through the sannin's desk. "Shishou, I'm sorry, but like you said, that was a mistake that doesn't have anything to do with my work here, or my request!"

There was another tense silence, and Sakura, again, became acutely aware of the chill in the air.

"I've been wanting to talk to you about your work for a while now, actually." Tsunade finally offered Sakura a glass of sake, but the pink haired young woman shook her head. More drink was the last thing she needed, and Tsunade's tone was throwing her off.

"My work?" She glanced at her rucksack from the corner of her eye.

"Yes. Shizune's told me you're still refusing to work with children," Tsunade's voice became low, and suddenly Sakura felt herself being stifled.

"That's-that's nonsense! I haven't refused any work. I just…I don't feel I have the…the right level of…" Sakura's fingers began to twitch, and, on reflex, she clutched at her stomach. Tsunade's gaze softened.

"I never should have listened to you back then…" She spoke to herself as she lifted her own glass to her lips. Slowly, she rose to her feet and crossed the room to the check the lock on the office door. Gazing at Sakura firmly, she leaned against the wall.

"I should have insisted on grief counseling."

"Shishou, stop." Sakura's smile twitched. "I respect you so much, but I swear if you keep going on like this…I'll never forgive you."

"You haven't been the same since you lost the baby. And your patients are suffering for it."

"THAT'S A LIE!" A wind kicked up in the office, and Tsunade's papers went flying as Sakura stamped her foot against the ground. Anyone else would have been shocked, but the Godaime stood firm, unmoved.

"Two weeks," she said firmly, and fished out a pink piece of paper from one of the piles on her desk. Sakura recognized it immediately, and relief washed over her features.

"Shishou, I—

"—Two weeks and then back here for mandatory counseling with someone from our grief department." Tsunade handed it to her. "Use this time to get yourself together."

Sakura stared down her mentor, visibly displeased, but took the paper when offered. It was an official request for time off. She scribbled down her name and intended destination in the blanks, then signed in silence before sliding it back across the desk.

"I care about you deeply, Sakura," Tsunade's gaze was hard, but sincere. "I've said what I've said to inspire you, not hurt you. I can't imagine how it felt to go through it alone. But you're _not_ alone. You know that, don't you? You have me, your friends, and your family. Have you told them about what happened?"

"Why should I trouble them with something like that?" Sakura lifted her rucksack and shifted it back onto her shoulders. Her once vibrant green eyes were dull, and frosted over with apathy.

Tsunade made a soft sound of disapproval, but forced a smile on her lips. She, too, had once been a stubborn young girl, and knew well enough that nothing she said could make Sakura understand. Most importantly, she certainly couldn't risk losing anything else in her office to another mini-tornado.

"What do you plan to do in Suna?" Tsunade asked instead as she glanced at the request form.

Sakura closed her eyes briefly and imagined warm sand beneath her toes and a glimmer of red hair on the horizon.

"It's always warm there," she said. "I could use someplace warm."

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Short chapter, but really just laying down some foundations. No Gaara yet, but soon! ;) And slowly the entire situation of what's going on with Sasuke and Sakura will be revealed! Drop me a review if you like it!


	3. It's Always Sunny in Suna

**Title: Lady in Waiting**

**Chapter 3: It's Always Sunny in Suna**

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**AN: **So after the craziness of the holidays, I'm finally back! Sorry for the delay. Over the season my boyfriend came to visit, we frolicked, went to Paris, and I had to write four different papers, but I made it through! I hope your holidays were also wonderful, and that your new year is as well. Oh, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Yay! :)

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Gaara leaned forward on his desk and watched the grains of sand in his hourglass sift through again. He still had several days' worth of writeups from S-class missions to go over, but that morning, he couldn't quite focus. After a few signature requests and early meetings, Gaara quickly found his mind wandering. Slowly, he shifted his gaze from the sand to the window. Outside the Kage Tower, someone was flying a kite. Pale green with sakuras printed on the fabric. It struggled against the wind.

"_You should come in…"_

He still heard her voice echoing in his head. Still felt her slim fingers locked around his in pleading.

Gaara was no skirt chaser, but he certainly wasn't an idiot. He knew what Sakura had intended that night, and though it wasn't the first time he'd heard words like that from a woman, somehow, from her lips it seemed far more sensual. He didn't know much about Sakura Haruno, but what he did know was strength, and Gaara valued strong women. He'd seen her send Naruto flying more than once, and watched her heal comrades in battle during the Fourth Shinobi World War. Strength like that was more than admirable, but along with this added vulnerability…it did something strange to him.

"_They all have their place. Let's find ours. Here. Tonight." _

Though she'd tried to mask it, her voice had been a husky with liquor. Their lips so close, all it would have taken was a second. A half step, and he could have tasted her.

"Fuck." Gaara pushed his hair back with both hands and leaned back in the chair. No matter how many times he told himself he wasn't that sort of man, the intrusive thoughts kept coming.

Up until that night, Sakura Haruno hadn't even really ever been on his radar. She was just, sort of, background noise. But now, for whatever reason, the volume had been turned up and she was at the forefront of his mind.

It had to have been the full moon. When Shukaku was still with him, Gaara always remembered being… "restless" for the entire week. With his head still in his hands, he thought painfully of one month spent pleasuring himself raw during a particularly long moon phase in his youth.

Still, this was oddly different. Back then, his thoughts had been focused on everyone and no one in particular, but now, it was nothing but Sakura. Her hands had felt so small and right in his. So right, he'd been unable to sleep without wondering more about that soft skin and feather-light touch.

'_Stop. Breathe.'_ He told himself_. 'Focus on something else. Anything else.'_

It wasn't the first time Garaa had experienced dreams of that nature, but if this continued, it would be a problem. He was man with responsibilities, after all, and Sakura Haruno was his best friend's, best friend! Aside from pink hair and powerful fists, he didn't even know anything about her.

It was crazy.

"Hey little bro – think fast!"

Just as Gaara turned, a carrier pigeon was hurled his way, smacking him straight in the face. The pigeon, obviously traumatized, tried frantically to free himself from the situation, scratching at Gaara's in the eyes and hair in the process.

In the doorway, Kankuro was doubled over, laughing hard at the sight of the bird digging itself into his little brother's red mane.

Gaara grit his teeth, biting back a snarl. "Do you always have to do that?" He took the pigeon in both hands, holding it away from his face as Kankuro cackled.

"As long as you keep spacing out like that, bro…. yeah."

Gaara rolled his eyes and sent tendrils of sand out towards the older male as a threat. Kankuro quickly took it as his cute to exit, leaving Gaara and the pigeon alone.

"Now what are you here for?" The redhead frowned at the messenger bird. Usually they came with an encrypted note attached to their legs, but this time, there was nothing. The pigeon cocked its head to the side, and Gaara let it go. Before he could shoo it away, however, its chest began to swell. Then head, then wings.

"What the—

At the last moment, Gaara's sand sprang into action, shielding his face from a spray of feathers and…

Slime?

When the sand wall retreated back to his gourd, the pigeon was gone, leaving a similar sized slug in its place. Gaara twitched, thinking of the busty kage from Konoha.

'_That woman…'_

He watched the large pink slug slide across his desk, leaving a sticky trail of words behind in its mess.

_Gaara,_

_Sakura Haruno, one of our most talented medics is on her way to Suna for two weeks of vacation._

_Tell your people to keep an eye out, won't you?_

_Can't risk having anything happen to her._

_\- Tsunade_

Gaara eyed the message in confusion. Why send something like this to him? To inform him Sakura Haruno was taking a party break in Suna? Surely the girl had friends of her own back in Konoha who could keep tabs on her if necessary.

"Gaara, did you just get a…" Temari walked in to the office holding a slug by end of its tail, looking positively revolted. She stopped when she saw the mess on her brother's desk.

"Clearly," he grunted.

"And yours was about Sakura, too?" Temari tossed the slug on the floor next to Gaara's and waved her hands frantically to clear the slime. The duo melded into one another, and then disappeared with a sickening pop.

Gaara didn't bother to hide his grimace.

"Apparently she'll be arriving here on vacation and we're supposed to keep an eye out." He let his chin rest on his palm. "What do you think this is really about?"

"Some diplomatic thing, maybe?" Temari crossed her arms against her chest. "Who knows? Tsunade can be really bizarre. For all we know, it could be an elaborate scheme for the leaf to do undercover audits on hot spring water usage."

"Hn." Gaara looked out the window again, into the distance. The kite was flying high now, and a dark feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach. It didn't sit right with him. Konoha and Suna had established a peaceful arrangement for a while now. He didn't want to believe it could be anything malicious, but as the leader of his people, it was his duty to keep an eye out, not piss away his days entertaining silly schoolboy fantasies.

"Apparently she left yesterday morning, so I'll be out to meet her at the gate late tonight. We giving her somewhere to stay here?"

"Here?" Gaara's brow went up at the thought of Sakura vacationing in his home.

"It's only two weeks. We could certainly afford to put her up for a little while. Unless… you don't want her here?" Temari eyed her brother curiously, and noted the way his sand was swirling oddly on the floor. She'd known him long enough to realize it was a strange sign of discomfort.

"I didn't say anything of the sort." He picked up a sticky piece of paper from his desk and pretended to study it intently.

"Then I'll tell the staff to make up a room." Temari watched for Gaara's reaction, but her brother just closed his eyes and waved her off.

As soon as the door shut behind her, he crumpled the paper in his hand and tossed it across the room.

It seemed the damned tanuki would never let him rest.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sakura was also in a state of unrest. Ever since her meeting with Tsunade, she was filled with a sense of overwhelming panic. For months, she'd been able to push away the loss, and then in a matter of moments it was all out on display again.

But still, even moving through the trees with her heavy pack, Sakura was making good time. She left Konoha as soon as she'd gotten permission, and was almost three quarters of the way to her destination.

The choice of Suna hadn't really been about warmth, but rather, opportunity. Sakura couldn't bring herself to face Naruto or her parents before she left, but thought the least she could do was apologize to Gaara. The thought of reliving her humiliation of the nights before mortified her, but at least she could offer _someone_ something before taking off. And though it was embarrassing to admit it, he intrigued her. Gaara had changed so much since she'd known him as a child, and the way he'd tried to comfort her shook something inside. Her friends had always cared about her, yes, but she and Gaara barely knew each other.

It was settled. She'd take one day to apologize and leave a trail in Suna, and then, using the country as a cover, she could take off wherever she wanted. By the time they picked up on her disappearance, she could be halfway to earth or lightning country. For now, Sakura had in mind the Village of the Mist. With no ninja registration system and government slow to change, surely she could find somewhere to hide out. At least for a little while. Train by herself – develop a new style. Just… be alone. The possibilities were endless.

Sakura jumped down into the brush to pause for a bit of water.

She felt strange, making all those plans. Sakura Haruno was always the goody-two-shoes. At home, at school, at work. Always toeing the line and abiding by the rules. It wasn't until team 7 that she discovered how fun going against the grain could be. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough to watch your friends soar ahead in strength and bravery, while you were left in the dust. That was why she trained with Tsunade and built up her strength, but still, couldn't shake that longing. Medical training wasn't just hers. Shortly after, Ino had joined in, and then recently, Hinata. Suddenly, it was as if she was being left behind all over again.

Sakura closed her eyes and leaned back against a tree, thinking far more deeply than she'd wanted to.

"_You just got back," She tried to stop the tears from falling, but when Sasuke stood there in front of her like that, eyeing her like a child, there was no use._

"_I told you, this is something I need to do. To become a better man – a better shinobi." _

"_And I told you that I'd come with," she forced a smile. "All this time… everything we've been through…the least you could do is stay a while, don't you think?"_

_Sasuke narrowed his eyes. _

"_You mean all I've put you through, right? I swear…" He stepped across the room to put some distance between them, but Sakura was quick to jump back to his side again._

"_That's not at all what I meant!" she gripped his hands, but inside it irked her. He'd been officially pardoned and "home" now for weeks, but still hadn't apologized for anything yet. At least not to her. Instead, he was busy sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night and making plans to take off again._

"_Sasuke-kun, I just want us to be something together. More than this," she leaned into his side, and Sasuke pulled her close to his body, drawing a hand up the curve of her spine. When she trembled, he began massaging lightly through her nightgown._

"_And what's wrong with this?" He smirked. "You just told me how much you loved it a few minutes ago."_

_Sakura's face became hot with blush and anger, but she couldn't seem to find the words she wanted._

"_I love you," she said instead._

"_I know. The problem with you is that you've been so privileged…" Sasuke stroked the side of her face with his palm. "And it's not your fault. It's just hard for you to understand what real pain is…isn't it?" _

"_I…suppose," Sakura responded grudgingly. He was right, after all. She'd never understand what he or Naruto had been through. Not truly. And if being away for a while would help, who was Sakura to stop him?_

"_It's okay. You'll deal with it," Sasuke started to lower his mouth to hers. "You'll make it work."_

'_So it's all on me, huh?' Sakura thought, bult still tilted her face up to meet his. _

_This was what she always wanted, after all. His attention, his approval, his kiss. But somehow it never felt as lovely as she'd imagined as a child. An hour of pleasure and then gone again by morning. Once a week since he'd come home they met up in her bedroom, away from prying eyes, and went through the same motions. She'd beg, he'd rationalize, she'd accept, and after that they went to bed. _

Sakura felt hollow recalling the memory, and how easily she'd given in.

"_It's just the kind of man he is,"_ Ino had said, trying to comfort her the same night he left again_. "He doesn't know how to express himself. Doesn't want to be tied down for too long. But I think you could change him. Just stay. Wait a little while, and be there for him."_

And so she did. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. She waited, and even when she needed him the most, he refused to stay.

Sakura resisted the urge to clutch at her stomach. That was done and over with, after all. Instead, she secured her pack on her back once more and dropped down onto the ground completely, to where the craggly cliffs were almost gone and she could feel sand start to work its way under her feet.

The change in temperature was almost instant. Whereas Konoha was inching towards what looked to be its coldest winter yet, the air in Suna was warm and dry.

From where she stood, Sakura could see the Sunagakure gate in the distance, and then suddenly a shock of blonde hair. When she squinted, a trio of purple dots came into view.

"SAKURA!" A voice cried out, and though she smiled, Sakura's heart raced.

'_Temari,'_ she thought, squinting against the wind. _'Of course. Of course Tsunade would tell them I was coming.'_

"HEY!" Sakura forced herself to look cheerful as she waved toward the sand nin, but as soon as she shot her hand up, a gust of wind threatened to knock her off her feet.

Sand was everywhere, even with the heat, Sakura struggled to hold her scarf up and keep it out of her eyes.

"HOLD ON!" Temari's voice came once more, and Sakura watched her make one, large, sweeping movement with her fan.

The gust picked up, but in a matter of seconds there was a break, and Sakura took the chance to bolt forward towards the gate. Temari appeared and was quick to pull her through the open passage.

"Phew!" She folded up her fan with a sigh. "Sorry about that. Wind and sandstorms are always strongest at the demarcation line between Kawa and Suna."

"No sweat," Sakura smiled, but bent over to catch her breath. "I'm just sorry Tsunade-sama made you come all this way out here just to meet me."

"Please." Temari dusted sand from the bashful shinobi's hair and shoulders. "It's an honor. We never see you guys around here when it's about leisure. And you made good time, it seems. Usually it takes everyone around 3 days to get here from Konoha."

Sakura pulled free the scarf from around her neck and shook it out. She was keenly aware of Temari's curious, almost critical tone, and took a moment to compose herself.

"Well, what can I say?" She grinned. "I _really _needed a vacation."

"Mn." Temari eyed her carefully for a moment, but then shrugged. "I know that feeling. Anyway, we had the staff set up a room for you back at home, so if you want we can just dump all of your stuff and let you—

"—a room? Staying with you guys?" Sakura stopped in her tracks, but Temari paid her no mind, walking on ahead toward town. When the blonde didn't respond, Sakura ran to her side to keep up.

"It's really not necessary for you and your siblings to go to so much trouble! Like I said, it's just a vacation, and I can afford a room at a local—

"—Sakura, enough." Temari stopped abruptly and put her hands on her hips. "It's the least we can do as a village, and as friends."

"Friends…" Sakura said it out loud and it wasn't until Temari frowned that she realized how sad she'd sounded. Looking out over the vast desert land and its people, she suddenly felt small. Though dry and warm, Suna reminded Sakura so much of Konoha. Regular children out to play, shinobi on their way to missions or back home to sleep… it was quaint and peaceful.

"Yes, friends." Temari put an arm around her shoulders. "Now stop looking so glum. I have some work to do this evening, but once all that's over, we can head out for some drinks."

Though Sakura was hesitant, she managed a nod.

When the two arrived at the Kage Tower, there was no one around aside for a few staff workers, busying themselves tiding things that already looked immaculate. Still sweaty and sticky with sand, Sakura immediately felt out of place. She'd never seen Tsunade's living arrangements in the tower back at Konoha, but couldn't even imagine it compared to this. While the rooms weren't decked out in ostentatious fixtures, everything was so clean and spacious, she was afraid to touch or linger on anything for even a second more than necessary.

"Here's your room." Temari led Sakura through the spacious sitting area to the biggest guestroom the pinkette had ever seen.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered under her breath, taking in the blown glass sculptures on the beautifully crafted dresser, and walk in closet spread open to hold her meager belongings. Across from them, staggering bay windows opened up to view what seemed like the entirety of Suna.

The room made her entire apartment back in Konoha seem like a shoebox.

"Yeah…you get used to it," Temari clapped a hand on her shoulder, chucking. "Take a shower, a nap, whatever. Kankuro and I will probably be back around 11 to take you out, so prepare your liver."

The blonde threw her a smirk, and Sakura was eerily reminded of Ino.

'_Ino…'_ she thought, feeling a pang of guilt. It had been so long since she'd shared the important things with her friend.

But she couldn't dwell on it. Sakura dumped her bag on the floor next to the four poster bed and stared longingly into the bathroom. All she could think about now was taking the world's longest shower.

* * *

AN: This was originally a longer chapter, but I split it into two because it was way too much all at once. Expect some lovely awkward Gaara/Sakura interaction in chapter 4, coming soon! (wayyyy sooner than this one did) Leave a review and let me know what you think! :)


	4. Tequila

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 4: Tequila

**AN:** Another day, another chapter. :) It's so nice to see everyone favoriting and following this story! Hope you like the new chapter, and please-read with an open mind! ;-)

* * *

Sakura Haruno entered the Kagzekage's home a slightly sweaty kunoichi and woke up a prune. She only intended to soak in the bath for a few minutes—half an hour, tops—but as soon as the warm, sweet scented water surrounded her, she was out like a light. Even in the twelve inches of water, after 3 hours dozing blindly, it was a wonder she hadn't drowned.

"Fuck," Sakura muttered, staring at her reddened body in the mirror. She'd planned on visiting Gaara first thing, but how could she now, looking like a pitcher of Kool-Aid?

Before running her fingers through her hair, she stopped herself. Since when did she care what Gaara thought of her? Why was this suddenly becoming such a big deal?

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose, remembering the moment they'd shared on her doorstep. Her fingers, grabbing him, his face so close she could practically count each and every one of eyelashes. Shrugging a plain shirt over her head, she sighed. This was her pattern with men. Good looks, maybe a moment of kindness, and she would fixate for as long as it took for them to hurt her.

"Don't go there," she told herself. No matter what kind of new leaves the Kazekage had turned over in his life, or how nice he pretended to be, he was just a means to an end for her.

Just like she'd been for Sasuke.

Without a second thought, Sakura threw her hair up in a ponytail and grabbed a pair of track pants, slinging them low on her hips. Though woefully unpolished, she stepped confidently through the tower halls in search of the main office. Hair wet and pulled back, skin flushed, she knew she still looked good. Sakura had done training in seduction with Tsunade before. Most times, it only took some skin and a smile to get a target to do exactly what you wanted.

The problem was, Sakura wasn't sure exactly what that was yet. She wanted to get close to Gaara, close enough for him to trust. If she wanted to escape to the Mist with a good head start, she needed a legitimate reason to get out of Suna early and put as much distance as she could between her and Konoha. The bigger that gap, the harder it would be for them to start tracking.

As soon as Sakura arrived in front of the office, she drew in a long, deep breath. She'd never been good at sexy, but if she'd learned anything from her time with Sasuke, it was that men always went for vulnerable. Something they could dominate. Control. Gaara may have played kind those nights before, but surely, he wasn't any different. She just had to let him _think_ he owned her. Then, he'd do anything.

"Kazekage-sama?" Sakura gave the office door a sharp knock as she pushed in. Gaara was at his desk, head down, sifting through paperwork.

"Matsuri, if it's more reports, just leave them by the door…" He trailed off upon seeing her, and then froze briefly before composing himself. He hadn't prepared for this – running into her so soon.

Gaara wasn't sure whether he could pull off being the right amount of friendly, so decided hastily on defaulting to stoic. Their eyes met briefly, and though Sakura hadn't expected his almost disdainful gaze, she swallowed down the urge to glare.

"Sorry. I thought you were someone else." He shuffled the papers in his hands and placed them back down on the edge of the desk. "Did you need something, Haruno-san?"

He tried hard to avoid Sakura's stare, but just the smell of her unnerved him. She'd obviously just taken a shower, and her skin was flushed the palest pink to compliment her hair. Bright pink hair, pulled up to expose the slim, pale curve of her neck. He could smell sandalwood – familiar from the soaps the maids left out—mixed with the sweetness of summer berries.

Over the years, Sakura had become quite adept at picking up microchanges in emotion and chakra release, but she didn't need any of that training to sense the heavy tension in the room. The redhead held it all in his shoulders and along his strong jawline. No matter how hard he tried to look busy, Sakura could see the little twitches and feel the pulses of chakra that told her he was incredibly bothered by her presence. It wasn't what she wanted, but maybe she could work with it.

Sakura chewed her lip, looking sweet. "Well, I…I wanted to thank you for extending such amazing hospi—

"—No need," Gaara put a hand up. "It's the least we could do. Suna is happy to have you."

Sakura nodded a few times, but stayed glued in his hallway. It was only the beginning, after all.

"Something else?" Gaara felt as uncomfortable as hell with her standing there, but only hoped he didn't look it.

"About...a few nights ago…" Sakura steeled herself, but again, Gaara was primed to cut her off. "Don't." She stopped him first.

"What? Come on, does it pain you that much to hear the sound of my voice?" she chuckled, teasing, but curious all the same. Gaara started to look away, but the bitterness in her voice he'd heard nights ago was back in full force.

"I just think it would be best if we forget what happened," he explained.

Sakura moved quickly towards his desk, and sighed out. She had a painful habit of invading people's personal space when she was determined, and Gaara leaned back in his chair, away from her.

"I can't." She put her hands on her hips, then moved them around her body, to hug herself. "I mean, I don't want to. I embarrassed myself, and you were so kind to me. I don't want to forget that."

Gaara lowered his gaze to Sakura's fingers to avoid her eyes, shining bright with emotion. They were trembling, and she looked strangely unstable. He didn't like it.

"After all my country and my friends have done for me, I try my hardest to help those who seem in need. A little kindness can go a long way," Gaara explained. "Naruto inspired that in me."

Sakura tilted her head down, nodding again. "He inspires a lot of people." She tried not to smile, afraid that tears would run down her face.

"And you." Gaara straightened himself back up in his chair. "Our medical teams talk about you and the fifth here, constantly. And what a strong, valuable team you make. It's no doubt why they're so protective of you on your vacation. I'm sure the last thing they'd want is to lose such a precious asset."

He said it, saw her shocked face, and then felt like burying himself under six feet of sand. Something about Sakura Haruno was causing him to run off at the mouth, and he hated it. But, when he saw Sakura's hands stop their trembling, and she reached out one palm to cover his, it was as if something in the room had shifted. The air around them, changed.

Gaara remembered the feel of her soft fingertips, and brushed his thumb across her knuckles, just as he'd done nights before. He'd touched Temari, Matsuri, some of the female staff (platonically, of course), but not once had he ever felt warmth like this.

He stared at their hands—perhaps too interested—and Sakura, red-faced, pulled away. There it was again. The kindness, the touching… When had Sabaku no Gaara become so soft?

"Well, that's all." She shifted her feet nervously. Gaara hung his head down over his paperwork and forced himself to look interested again, though he was sure his cheeks were on fire.

"Yes, that's fine." He cleared his throat at her. "Like I said, there's no reason for us to discuss it any further."

A silence settled in the office, but when Sakura didn't budge, Gaara let out a sigh. He was ready to lose his mind with her near him like that.

"Is there something else?" He said through grit teeth. Sakura seemed to immediately snap out of her daze.

"Ah, oh… it's just… Kankuro and Temari are taking me out tonight for drinks." She wrung her hands together, nervous. "I hope I'll see you there, too."

"Not likely," he scoffed over his paperwork, but when a brief sadness flickered in Sakura's eyes, he stopped himself from going further.

"Right." She bit her lip and hung her head for good measure. "Of course."

Before Gaara could think to offer anything else, Sakura ducked and bolted out of the room. She'd seen the guilty look in his eye. He'd have no choice but to come out and see her. As soon as the door shut behind her, Sakura wanted to give herself a pat on the back, but it only took a moment before she collided with someone coming around the corner.

"Ahh!"

There was a burst of feathers and Sakura fell backwards onto the hardwood floor. Immediately it felt as though someone was clawing in her hair, but after a few choice swears, the sensation left as quickly as it came. When the flurry cleared, Sakura found herself staring up at a purple painted face.

"K-kankuro…?" She caught her breath and frowned up at a smirking sand nin.

"Lady pink! Sorry, my bad." Kankuro bent down to help her to her feet, but Sakura noticed the way his gaze skimmed over her body before he even outstretched a hand.

_Typical._

"It's okay. I wasn't paying attention." Instead of letting him help, Sakura pushed herself back to her feet and dusted a few feathers from her neckline. It was then, she noticed the puppeteer was holding a rather panicked looking pigeon.

"What's that about?" she chuckled. Kankuro's gaze wandered down the hall to Gaara's office and he grinned.

"Nothing. Just a message for 'our great leader,'" he teased. "But don't worry about that. How are you? I mean, you look great."

"Oh please." Sakura rolled her eyes as Kankuro shuffled the fidgety pigeon from one hand to the other. He'd always been quite the flirt with the girls in Konoha, and for him, today was a day like any other. But Sakura couldn't help but notice how different Kankuro looked. Sure, he still had the face paint, but Kankuro was eerily casual in a pair of slacks and rumpled white button-down. Even his hair, usually covered away under his black hat, was free and stylishly unstyled. She had to admit – good looks ran in the family.

"No, really." He leaned against the doorframe with one arm, flexing his bicep. "You're always on point. Glad you took some time off to come hang in Suna. We have some great hot springs, you know. I could show you around one day."

Sakura chuckled to herself. "That's really kind of you, Kankuro, but—

"—What are you doing hassling her, you dolt?"

Sakura breathed a sigh as soon as Temari came around the corner, hands on her hips.

"Just ignore this one," she gave her brother a playful shove. "He just got back a few days ago from a long solo mission and is now preying on anything with ovaries."

"Lucky me." Sakura smiled on the outside, but yet again, was reminded of Sasuke. Whenever he decided to grace her with his presence after weeks or months of being gone, it was always about sex. Never conversation or any sort of real closeness.

"Like I said…ignore him." Temari broke into her thoughts. "Let's get some food in you. Last thing we need tonight is a lightweight on our hands."

"Hey – when have I ever been a lightweight?" Sakura pouted, but Temari swung an arm around her shoulder with a grin.

"Come on, don't you remember last year…"

As they rounded the corner, Kankuro watched the duo disappear with a smile. He had to admit, it was nice having another friend around, especially if it meant a dose of eye-candy. He'd never really gotten to know much about Sakura before, but he knew women, and he figured that was good enough.

When Kankuro entered Gaaras office with the pigeon in hand, he was startled to see that his little brother was no longer at his desk. Instead, he sat in the large bay window, staring at something outside.

"Do you need something?" Gaara asked without looking up.

Kankuro let go of the pigeon and it flew past Gaara's stoic face and out the window. It wasn't a real messenger, and he'd fully intended on only messing with his brother again, but this was odd. In all his time since becoming a guard of the Kazekage, Kankuro had never once seen his brother take a break. Sure, of course he must have, sometime, but not when he was around. Every time that door opened, Gaara was at his desk, hard at work, but this week that had slowly been deteriorating. First it'd been him staring out into space. Now, sitting in the windowsill watching the clouds? The last thing Kankuro wanted was another Nara in the family.

"What's going on with you?" Kankuro shut the door behind himself and then leaned against it, frowning.

Gaara stepped down from the windowsill and crossed his arms in a similar unamused fashion.

"I'm taking a break. Do you have something pertinent to share with me, or is it just yet again time for one of your usual disturbances?"

Kankuro just smirked to himself. "Sakura arrived here a little while a—

"—I know," Gaara interrupted him. Though he didn't move when he said it, Kankuro honed in on the tightness in his little brother's jaw. Gaara was always known to carry a lot of tension around him – it was why he meditated so much – but Kankuro had never seen it this bad.

"You worried about something?"

Gaara ignored the question at first and turned back to the window, but when he caught sight of the green kite again, thought of Sakura's eyes, shining with tears.

"It just seems off to me," he said. "The timing… her attitude… Why do you think she's really here?"

Kankuro mulled over for something for a moment and then shrugged. It really wasn't normal for Gaara to be so interested in someone as trivial as Sakura Haruno. Not unless…

"Vacation, like she said. Probably to cut loose in a place she knows no one will really bother her. Especially after what happened back in Konoha."

"What?" Gaara tried his best not to sound too interested, but Kankuro was observant enough to see the tell in his eyes.

He took a seat on Gaara's desk. "It happened while I was away, but I heard she made a huge scene at the engagement party with Naruto and Hinata. Surprised you didn't see her… She came onto him pretty hard or something. In front of everyone."

Gaara was suddenly taken back to Sakura on the doorstep, looking quite helpless.

"_I made a mistake tonight," _she had said._ "I don't know if I can fix it."_

"She had too much to drink," Gaara said quickly, but when he caught sight of the curiosity in Kankuro's eyes, regretted it.

"So you _did_ see her."

"After," he corrected. "I walked her home."

"Ohh… I get it." Kankuro gave a cheeky smile. "So you two had a little…"

"—stop yourself. Now." Gaara deadpanned, and if looks could kill, Kankuro would have been dead three times over.

"I'm just asking…" Kankuro grinned, hands up in defense. "There's something about those things… other people's engagement parties, baby showers, weddings. Women go crazy. I think it makes them come to terms with their own failed romantic exploits…or something like that."

Gaara was quiet. He played dumb sometimes, but his brother was quite astute when he wanted to be.

"Sasuke hasn't been back for a while. Maybe she's been waiting on him to propose and the whole thing set her off. Who knows with women?"

Gaara's mood darkened at the mention of the Uchiha. After all the pain he'd caused their respective countries, he never was very supportive of Naruto's rescue. Gaara hadn't believed that Sasuke could really change, but he'd been pardoned, he was back, and it seemed Gaara was wrong.

'_So they're in a relationship.'_

He'd been vaguely aware of Sakura's attraction to the Uchiha during the war, but it didn't occur to him that anything would ever progress. Some people, he thought, just weren't cut out for love.

"You seem a little fixated." Kankuro broke Gaara's train of thought again with another mischievous smile. Gaara wasn't sure how to respond. It was true, after all. There was something about Sakura's presence that troubled him and he wasn't sure why. It was causing him to overthink.

"It's not a bad thing," he chuckled when Gaara was silent. "She _**is**_ hot. A little loud, and those tits could use some work, but I'd definitely—

Out of nowhere, a blast of sand shot up from the floor and knocked Kankuro into the wall.

"Get. Out."

()()()()()()()()()()

* * *

By the time Sakura reached the local bar, _Gust_, with Temari, her cheeks were sore from all the laughter. It seemed like ages since she'd really enjoyed herself, and it was a surprise doing so in Suna, with Temari. Not that the girl wasn't friendly, but in all their years knowing one another, Sakura had mostly perceived her to be rather hardened and serious. Yet all throughout dinner, she was nothing but smiles – telling jokes and laughing hard.

"…I swear to God I can't believe I ever fucked him – he was absolutely obsessed with my feet!" Temari snickered into a glass of tequila. "But great at dining in, if you get my drift."

Sakura covered her mouth to keep from snorting with laughter. "You have to stop! I'm going to spit up all over the bar!"

"Please do. Perfect blackmail material!" Temari gave her a pat on the back, and Sakura couldn't keep from spluttering.

"Ah…It's really great to see you smiling again. I was a little worried." she stopped her hand and gave Sakura's shoulder a squeeze. The pink haired ninja calmed herself and looked back down into her drink.

'_Am I really so transparent?'_

"Why would you say that?" She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Temari glanced the fidgety movement, but kept the friendly smile on her lips.

"Well, before you seemed…I dunno…_sad_."

"Well, everyone's allowed to be sad once in a while, aren't they?"

Before Temari could respond, Sakura sucked hard on a lime and threw back her own shot. The blonde snorted with laughter as her friend squeaked and shook her head in revulsion. Even all made up and dressed to the nines, she didn't look right. She had used to sparkle, Sakura. She used to shine. It was only recently that light had seemed to dim.

"Just tell me who I need to knock out!" Temari shouted over the music. She gestured to her fan on the seat beside her with a wink. "Friends get one free."

"Well, it's not as if you'd be able to find him," Sakura chuckled bitterly. Temari froze, looking at her friend from the corner of her eye. The last thing she wanted was to do was turn the night into something heavy. Whatever Sakura was running from, it was her business and no one else's. Everyone needed a break from real life now and then.

"Fuck, you two started without me! I told you to wait at the restaurant!"

Temari jumped when she felt a strong arm swing over her shoulder, but then sighed out upon seeing Kankuro push through the crowd at the bar, grinning widely.

_Saved by the idiot._

"Only a few," Temari raised her empty glass at her brother. "You can buy the next round. Or two."

And so he did. Kankuro slid onto the bar stool beside Sakura and made sure their glasses were full all night. Like Temari, Kankuro was also great conversation. Sakura hadn't ever really noticed how funny he was. And attentive, unlike another sand sibling she knew.

It had been over two hours, and Gaara hadn't made an appearance. So he was the Kazekage. So what? Tsunade went out to drink all the time, and in the end, Sakura knew she'd felt something in that room. Just the smallest bit of attraction, and usually that was enough for most men to make a move.

'_Maybe he's __**too much**__ like Sasuke…' _Sakura thought, but Kankuro's loud voice snapped her back to reality.

"Hey listen!" He gave her nose a playful little flick with his finger.

That night, Kankuro wore his hair in a slicked back style and the same outfit from earlier, but with the buttons quite generously undone. Facepaint was back, but in a simple stripe across the bridge of his nose. Any other night, Sakura wouldn't have paid him any mind, but now, with Konoha and Sasuke seeming a million miles away, she felt free. Free to touch his arm, to lean in close, to flirt and be flirted with. No man had paid her this much attention in years; It was…thrilling.

Beside them, Temari watched the two over her glass, bemused.

"…And so I threw it in his face! Feathers fucking everywhere!"Kankuro took another swig of beer and Temari rubbed her temples as she listened to the same story she'd heard a thousand times before. Sakura however, six tequila shots deep, found it hilarious.

"And so what did he do?!" She gripped her sides, laughing over the bartop.

"Oh you should have seen his fucking face." Kankuro leaned in closer. "He tried to be all stony, but I could see the freakout."

"You should really cut him a break," Temari pulled the bottle from her brother's hand to steal a sip. "He's been under a lot of stress recently."

"Really?" Sakura piped up, suddenly interested.

"Yeah, thanks to birdboy here. Kankuro organized this whole tour thing behind Gaara's back to get the local kids to shadow him for a day."

"You didn't!" Sakura gave Kankuro's shoulder a playful smack, laughing at the thought of Gaara trying to wrangle an office full of rambunctious kids.

"I thought it would be a wonderful way to give back to the community," Kankuro smirked, and then gave a wink to a couple of passing civilian girls.

Temari shot him a glare. "Yeah right, more like more chance for you to flirt with their mothers."

"Oh please," Kankuro spun on his chair to face Sakura directly. "Temari here knows the only person I want to flirt with right now is you."

At first, Sakura was startled, but then bowed her head with a smile. She had to admit, the attention felt good. More than good, really. Fantastic. In the next few days, she'd be out of Suna. With or without an excuse from the Kazekage. The least she could do was live it up a little.

"Prove it." She placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed. "Dance with me. Pay me a little attention."

Sakura threw in a wink, but Kankuro was more than ready. "As you wish." Placing both hands on her hips, he pulled her up from the stool and onto the dancefloor.

"Oh this should be good," Temari chuckled to herself, but as soon as the music slowed to a sexy R&amp;B track, something in her stomach churned.

Watching them come together like that, her brother pressed close behind her good friend, the lazy way Sakura swayed against him… she felt more than uneasy. Kankuro was wonderful fun, but he wasn't serious. And Sakura didn't seem to be in a place to handle that.

"You dance with all your friends like this?" Kankuro murmured on Sakura's neck, quite surprised by the smooth rhythm of her hips, grinding into his lap. It was taking everything in him not to react, and if it had been any other girl, he swore he would have had her bent over a railing already.

"Just the cute ones." Sakura turned in his arms, and Kankuro took the chance to slide his palms down to cup her ass. Sober, Sakura would have sent him flying, but brain buzzing high, all she could do was smile.

"So you think I'm cute." Kankuro slid his hands back up, this time to cup her face. She looked different than from in the hallway back at home. She'd been barefaced then, and now had full painted lips and cheeks rosy with blush. Her lashes— dark, thick, and most likely fake, made her green eyes pop against pale skin.

She was hot.

Not the hottest he'd ever had, but coated with a cool kind of sweetness he'd always been attracted to. Sakura closed her eyes as he pushed sweaty pink strands from her cheeks, and then massaged down across her collarbones.

"I did. I did say that," She hummed without opening her eyes. "It runs in the family."

'_Gaara,'_ Kankuro thought, and remembered how curious he'd been about the kunoichi. It seemed to surpass his usual awkwardness around women.

"Why did you come here?" Kankuro twirled her in his arms before she could react, and they resumed their initial position, Sakura's back to his front. "Why Suna? I'm sure Konoha has lots of bars and _cute_ _guys_, though none on my level, I'm sure."

Sakura laughed loud. "Guess I was too tired of _getting fucked_ back home."

A less observant guy might have perceived it as a joke, but Kankuro knew better. He'd seen her from time to time around Konoha since Sasuke left again. Standing outside the hospital building doing nothing, or near the playgrounds staring out into space. It was like she was barely functioning. And Kankuro knew as well as anyone else, a vulnerable ninja, especially a kunoichi, was a liability. Open to coercion and rash behavior.

His hold on her lightened a little, and in his head, he sighed. He couldn't do it. Not like this.

Sakura forced him to hold her correctly again, and tilted her face to his. _It was about time he just kissed me already_, she thought. _Doesn't he want to?_

"Come on you two," Temari was quick to split them up when the song finally ended. "I think it's about time we all gave it a rest."

"Shh shh shh!" Temari scolded Kankuro and Sakura as they staggered into the mansion, giggling loudly. They'd been unbearably talkative since their little show on the dancefloor, and frankly, she was sick of it. The last thing she wanted to see—or hear—was her playboy brother and trashed gal pal getting it on together under her roof.

"Guys, you're going to piss off—

"—I thought I heard something annoying." Gaara turned on the hall lights with a smirk. It held for only a moment. Just one moment, and then he saw her. Pink hair wild and sticking to the sweat on her neck. Cleavage straining against the front of her floral bralet, the smooth skin of her stomach bare. She seemed barely unable to support herself, but Kankuro helped her generously, his hands low on her hips, body pressed close from behind.

Too close.

"…goodnight." He turned on his heel and walked away from the trio, back down the hall, into the darkness.

"Well that was bizzare…" Temari muttered to herself, and let go of the doorframe, causing Kankuro and Sakura to spill forward onto the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Guys…" she waved her fan at them in warning. "Tonight was fun, but I swear to God if you keep me up tonight…"

Kankuro was unable to calm himself, but Sakura managed a drunken salute. As soon as Temari disappeared down a dark corridor, she flopped back onto the floor, holding her sides. Kankuro was strangely quiet.

Still catching her breath, Sakura blinked open her eyes to see him standing over her, painted face looking quite serious.

"It was a good night," he said softly. Pink flooded into Sakura's cheeks.

"Yeah," she managed, and sat up. "Really good."

It had been easy at the bar, her mind clouded with alcohol and noise, but in the silence of the tower, everything was far too real. Sasuke had been her first. Her only. She had no idea how to do…_this._

And with Kankuro?

Sakura drew in a deep breath. She could do it. He'd invite her to his room, they'd fool around a little, and she'd ask him for a favor. Cover for her while she went to _"visit a friend in Iron Country._" By then she'd have at least three days to get to Mist before they started a hunt.

"Sakura?" Kankuro waved his hand in front of her face.

"Ah, yes!" Sakura sprang to her feet and blushing, caught hold of Kankuro's hand. "You were saying?"

"I was saying goodnight." He tilted her chin up with his finger. "Sleep tight."

"I…" Sakura felt his hand slip from hers, and panicked. "But…I thought…I mean, don't you want to—

"—I have to be up early in the morning," he smiled and pulled away from her completely. "Hope you enjoy your vacation here."

Sakura stood dumbfounded as Kankuro walked away from her and disappeared, just like Gaara, down the hall. As soon as she heard his room door shut, Sakura felt her hands begin to tremble, and then her body shake.

'_He knows.'_ A voice inside her chuckled, wickedly. _'They all know. And it's just like he said. Nobody even wants to touch you now, you barren slut.'_

"Shut up!" Sakura struggled to muffle her voice into her fist.

Her breathing quickened, and in the distance, another door clicked shut.

* * *

**AN:** Long chapter! Gaara and Sakura! Gaara and Kankuro! Lol. The aim of this chapter was to kind of consider Sakura's screwed up mindset at this point due to what happend to her in the past. Also, how she perceives people (men, specifically) and how they see her.


	5. Iron & Wine Country

**Title: Lady in Waiting**

**Chapter 5: Iron &amp; Wine Country  
**

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* * *

_This isn't happening._

_This isn't happening._

_It was the only thing she could tell herself, over and over as she clutched the sheets in bed and tore at the edge of her pillow between her teeth. _

_Sakura had seen it many times on her gynecological rotation at the hospital. Miscarriages. Early on, they usually happened for no reason. Healthy, happy mothers were relegated to tears and anguish in a moment of hours. But it wasn't supposed to be her. She was young, healthy, and most of all, it was his. The one thing Sasuke had always wanted, and there she was… fucking it up again._

"_Please don't…" Sakura curled herself into a ball, but the cramps kept coming in waves, and her legs, like the sheets she cocooned herself in, felt warm and wet. _

_Blood._

_She didn't know there would be this much blood._

_Tears rolled down her cheeks and she started to pray. Sakura had never been religious, but at that moment, the words spilled from her mouth, begging god, begging anyone to make it stop. What had she done? Why did she deserve this?_

_It seemed like hours later when the cramping had finally calmed down and Sakura regained consciousness. The light of the full moon peeked in through her blinds, and she forced herself to sit up. The entire mattress was soaked through with blood and tissue._

_Inside, she was hysterical, but on the surface tried to keep some semblance of calm. Once she was sure she could stand on two feet, Sakura stripped bare, placed a thick pad in her panties, and redressed in a pair of sweatpants and a long t-shirt. As calmly as she could, she exited the apartment and dragged herself to the home of the door of the one woman she knew wouldn't judge. _

_Tsunade, bleary-eyed, frowned down at her young pupil. Sakura typically wasn't the one to make drunken late-night visits._

"_Sakura, it's late. What are you doing—_

"—_I need…I need help." Sakura braced herself on her mentor's doorframe. She had lost a lot of blood, and was dropping in and out of consciousness. It was then Tsunade finally saw just how pale Sakura was, and the sweat sheening her face and body. _

"_Sakura!" She sprang forward to keep the young girl from falling over._

"M_iscarriage," Sakura said plainly. For a brief moment, Tsunade froze, but then pulled the trembling girl inside._

_She hadn't even told anyone she was pregnant, and now…_

"_E-eleven weeks…I…" Sakura stammered, but couldn't continue._

"_It's okay. It's going to be okay," Tsunade told her, but Sakura doubled over as the cramps started up once more. She could see the horror in the fifth's eyes as more blood stained the front of her sweats._

"_Shishou…" Sakura clasped her mentor's hand, trembling. "Please…please promise me you won't tell anyone." _

_And so she didn't. _

_Tsunade isolated Sakura to a private suite, and personally took care of her lab work and body scans. Little was spoken between the two, and frankly, Sakura preferred it that way. After all the products of conception had finally passed, she left, in the middle of the night, alone. The next day, she was back at work. As if nothing had ever happened._

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* * *

Sakura couldn't sleep. Her buzz was long gone and the memories kept playing over and over in her head. Every few moments, she found herself checking the bed for dampness.

It was over. She was over it. Well, she _tried_ to be over it, but on lonely nights like those, the thoughts crushed her to pieces. With a sigh, Sakura dragged herself out of bed and began digging through her rucksack. She found it quickly – a silver thermos, usually empty, but since recently always filled to the brim with her new favorite – gin.

Still in her pajamas, she slipped out into the hallway with it in hand, in search of a quiet place to drink. Instead of quiet, however, Sakura immediately heard voices. Hushed, but coming from a room down the hall. Curious, she pressed her ear against the thick wood door.

"_Fuck, that's so good…"_ It was a woman, soft and breathy.

"_Say it. Say my name." _Another voice. Much deeper.

"_Ah, Kankuro…"_

Sakura sprang away from the door, stunned, and gripped the thermos tighter in her hands. She wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, but in the dark, turned and backed into something hot and firm.

"Haruno-san?"

"Jesus!" She squeaked. Even in the dark hall, Gaara's bright red hair stood out. He sighed out hard in what seemed like relief, and then motioned with a finger for her to keep quiet. Before Sakura could even think to respond, she was surrounded by sand. The next thing she knew, she was on the tower balcony, outside.

"What are you doing up so late?" Gaara asked. His tone was all business, but Sakura couldn't help but be taken aback at how _normal _he looked out of his usual ninja garb.

Dark brown sweatpants and a black stretch long-sleeved shirt. His gourd, a miniature version, clipped onto his waistband. So simple, but the shirt clung to him nicely, and she could see the muscle definition he'd obviously trained years for. She felt frumpy in her oversized shirt and pink shorts.

"I…I couldn't sleep," Sakura snapped back to reality. "I thought I heard voices."

Gaara turned his face up toward the moon and for a moment, Sakura caught sight of a hint of blush.

"I have to apologize for Kankuro," he said without looking at her. "He's not very… discreet."

_Among other things_, Sakura thought, but held her tongue. It wasn't as if he'd been anything more to her than a means to an end, anyway.

"And what about you?" She looked up at him again.

Gaara looked startled, and her face burned red at the implication. "I meant sleep! You're—you're up late too!"

Embarrassed, she forced a laugh, and Gaara smiled. He had to admit, she was charming when flustered.

"I have… a lot on my mind," He admitted, and it was certainly true. It was bad enough that he was supposed to be hosting a tour of the tower for a bunch of kids in the afternoon, but "the Sakura situation" kicked into overdrive that night. He, too, had wandered into the hall after hearing voices, but was more than relieved to see that Sakura hadn't been the one making them.

"Right," Sakura remembered. "Kankuro told me about the tour for the kids."

"Oh did he?" Gaara leaned over the railing to stare out into the distance. Sakura just nodded to herself, feeling quite awkward. She remembered the vacant, almost disappointed way he'd looked at her when she and Kankuro managed to stagger into the mansion. All friendliness was gone in the blink of an eye. Strangely enough, she didn't like it. Sakura had told herself she was done caring about what men thought of her –what _anyone_ thought of her, and yet the coldness in his gaze made her feel…ashamed.

Of all people, she wanted him to like her.

"I invited you," Sakura softened her voice. "You could have had fun with us. Relaxed a little."

Gaara looked back at her over the railing, surprised. "I don't think it would have been—

"What would one drink hurt, really?" Sakura crossed over to his side of the railing with a smile, and was surprised by how natural it felt to be near him. Just like the night in Konoha on her doorstep, they were close enough to touch, and she could feel his warmth radiating against her.

Gaara gazed out over her form- the slim, but muscled legs on full display, her hair, pinned up from that enticing neck in another messy bun. He was a man, like any other, and she didn't know what she was doing to him. In another world, he would have grabbed her, held her, claimed her, but this was not that world. And he was not that man.

"Why not just-

"—because it changes you." Gaara interrupted. "…drinking, I mean. Your sensibilities, your personality…. I can't appreciate that."

Sakura clenched the thermos in both hands.

"Some might say it only enhances what's already there."

"I don't like unnecessary enhancements," he said easily. "I'm of the opinion that the best things are all natural."

There was another awkward silence, and Gaara passed a hand through his hair. He really needed to be more careful with his words. He never really knew what to say to women, but with _her,_ Gaara was incredibly stuck. Sakura wasn't a member of Suna he could intimidate, or a mindless follower he could blow off. They really only knew each other tangentially, and she was obviously in a strange place.

Blankly, Gaara continued staring out over the railing. In a few hours, the sun would be up again and it would mean another day spent hiding out in his office. Could he really do this for two whole weeks? Because of what, some stupid attraction?

'_Attraction,'_ the word echoed in his mind. _'Is that what this is?'_

"I could help you." Sakura invaded his thoughts. "With this afternoon, I mean. I did tours of the hospital all the time with the local kids back in Konoha."

When Gaara turned around completely, she was closer, and twisting the silver thermos in her hands. He was nothing but stunned by the proposal. Since Sakura's arrival, Gaara hadn't been anything but ambivalent toward her. There wasn't any reason for her to offer her time in such a way.

"You're here to relax, not to work, Haruno-san. I couldn't ask that of you."

"You're **not **asking," she smiled. "I'm offering. As a friend."

From her mouth, the word "friend" seemed so hollow. From day one there'd been this strange emotional tension between them, but Sakura didn't know enough how to rectify it, or if she even wanted to. So when the silence settled again, Sakura turned her back and headed toward the doorway.

"Haruno-san..." Gaara turned to face her again as she started to walk away. He didn't want her to go. Not yet. "I have to admit I'm not sure how to be a friend to you."

Sakura stopped in her tracks.

"Why would you say that?"

Gaara was quiet for a moment, and then slipped his hands into his pockets.

"You'll have to excuse me, but I'm used to being direct." He was quick, giving Sakura no chance to respond. "My job is to protect my country. My friends, my family, my loved ones. When I get the feeling that any of those things might be in jeopardy, it makes me uneasy."

He looked to her seriously, trying to gauge her understanding, but Sakura kept her head down.

"And I make you uneasy." Sakura smiled to herself. "Because you think I'm putting those things in jeopardy."

"No -

"—you don't have to say anything else." She twisted open her thermos and took a long drink. "Tomorrow I'll be going to visit a friend in Iron Country. I'll be out of your hair, and…no longer a threat."

"Haruno-san—

But before Gaara could finish, Sakura put her hands together in a seal and disappeared from the balcony.

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* * *

Back in her room, Sakura drained the rest of the contents of the thermos and flopped back against her bed with a sigh. The world was always so much more interesting when she was three sheets to the wind. When she looked up, she could see stained glass panels on the ceiling, and hours later as the sun rose, the colors shone down on her face.

But with the warmth came an unpleasant feeling of guilt. In the end, making the excuse to leave had been easier than Sakura thought it would, but just not exactly in the way she'd hoped.

"_I have to admit I'm not sure how to be a friend to you."_

"_When I get the feeling that any of those things might be in jeopardy, it makes me uneasy."_

_What's wrong with me?_ She wondered. _What makes me such a burden, everywhere I go?_

Sakura balled her fists and resisted the urge to punch a hole straight through into the other room. She never was very good at concealing her emotions, but this little visit had shown her just how bad it had really gotten. Temari saw it, Kankuro, and now Gaara. She wasn't a kunoichi anymore. She was a liability.

"Snap. The fuck. Out of it," she muttered to her reflection, and then grabbed her brush on the bureau. If the plan was to leave tonight, Sakura had to make sure it was on good terms. So this tour thing…she had to do it right. Sakura Haruno never went back on a promise.

She left her room and down the hall, walking away from Gaara's office, she spotted Matsuri with a stack of paperwork, looking flustered.

"Haruno-san!" She nearly dropped the load in an attempt to salute, but Sakura managed to stop her just in time.

"Matsuri!" She hugged the younger girl. "It's nice to see you again."

"Yes, I heard from the staff you got in last night. I'm sorry I wasn't there to welcome you!"

"Oh, no worries. Temari and Kankuro did quite the job," she smiled, but tried to keep from thinking about how she'd had far _too much_ fun the night before. "And I'm sure you're busy enough around here."

"Oh, it's nothing I can't handle." She gave a confident thumb's up. "But these kids coming in a few hours—

"—right!" Sakura slung an arm over her shoulder. "I already ran it by the Kazekage, but I thought it would be great if you and Yukata took the load off him and give the kids a tour of the place and the new Academy before taking them up to Gaara's office. And I could even do some sort of activity to keep them busy."

"Oh wow, that would be great! Gaara-sama would be much less stressed!" Matsuri clasped her hands together in front of her chest, smiling widely. It was so infectious, Sakura couldn't help but return it.

"Thanks so much for volunteering. If you have time, I'd love to go over the schedule with you and plan some things out," she offered.

"Of course! Anything for Gaara-sama!" Matsuri beamed, and her cheeks lit up with blush. She was sweet, Sakura noted. Pretty, young, driven…uncomplicated. And obviously smitten with the Kazekage. Years ago she would have thought it was cute, back when she too was in love and so blindly devoted. But at that moment, it bothered her.

Forcing the smile now, Sakura shook her head and tried her best to stay positive.

From there, the two wandered out to the courtyard to plan for the Kazekage's tiny visitors.


	6. The Kids Aren't All Right

**Title: Lady in Waiting**

**Chapter 6: The Kids Aren't All Right  
**

* * *

"Temari." Gaara barely looked up at his sister as she entered the room. He was busy tidying things up and hiding anything shiny and fragile to pay her much mind. "Surprised you're not too hung over to join me this morning."

"Very funny." The blonde walked over and took a seat on the edge of his desk. "I'll have you know, I was the sober one last night."

"In that case, I would have expected you to reign things in a little." Gaara picked up his favorite hourglass and placed it out of child's reach on the top bookshelf. It was nearly 12, and the munchkins would be due any minute.

"They're two grown-ass individuals. If they want to screw each other's brains out, I can't stop them." Temari shrugged, and behind her, Gaara winced. He'd never been particularly fond of Temari's vulgarities, but that morning, the words seemed to hit him right in the gut.

"…But I do wish they hadn't gotten it on so close to my fucking room."

"It wasn't _her_." Gaara was quick to interrupt, and was surprised by how agitated he sounded. Temari whipped her head around with a grin.

"And how do you know that, Mr. Sourpuss?" she folded her arms against her chest.

"Because we had a conversation." Gaara refused to face her, and instead looked out the window, to where he swore he spotted a pink head of hair bobbing in the distance. "So she was with me when the… _disturbance_ occurred."

"Oh yeah? And what were you two discussing so late at night?" Temari was genuinely curious. Those days, just the mention of Sakura seemed to throw her little brother off his game.

When he didn't answer right away, Temari followed his gaze to the open window and outside, saw Sakura and Matsuri conversing animatedly over a pile of papers.

"Gaara…" Temari paused to choose her words carefully. "Do you know something about Sakura that we don't? Is that the reason you're so…"

"I think I'm attracted to her." He said it so casually that Temari barely registered it. But once she did, almost fell off the desk at the admission.

Her brother. Gaara. Gaara of the fucking Sand, confessing he had the hots for Sakura? Temari felt like she was in the twilight zone. The young medic had taken care of them all at some point in their lives as ninja; it made her easy to like. But despite how Gaara managed all the female attention in his personal life (and she really didn't even want to think about that), Temari had never once heard him express actual _feelings_ in regards to any of them.

"Don't…" He paused to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Forget I said that. I've been under a lot of stress and…"

"No way! I'm blown," Temari chuckled. "No, seriously. My mind right now. Absolutely fucking blo—

"Temari, please."

"So, what now?" Suddenly intensely interested, Temari jumped down from the desk and forced her brother to look at her. "Have you told her already? I mean you know she's waiting for Sasuke to show up again, right? That's been like…her life."

"That's none of my concern. Besides, this isn't that sort of issue." Gaara was firm. "I'm a busy man, and although you and Kankuro may not live by this rule, I'm of the opinion that you don't have to always let everyone know every single thing that's on your mind. I think most men would say they consider Sakura Haruno to be attractive. Even you often receive male—

"—Shut up!" Temari grabbed a book from the desk and jabbed Gaara's shoulder with it. "You're too friggin' rational sometimes, I swear. You can't just spit out that you're attracted to someone and then pretend it doesn't mean anything."

"Why does it have to _mean _something?" Gaara looked at his sister seriously before shoving away the book. He truly didn't understand. Attraction. Desire. These things were a part of life—basic human instincts.

That didn't mean he had to _act_ on them.

"She's here running from something and it's bothering me. That's all."

"Gaara, you're human. If you want to get to know her or—

Temari started to protest, but there was a knock at the door, and Matsuri poked her head in.

"Sorry Kazekage-sama, Temari-san, but—

"—the children." He stiffened up. "Right, Matsuri. You can let them in."

"Actually, Sakura's with them now! She thought it would be great to do an activity and tire them out a little before you gave them an overview of your job."

"She…she did?"

"That's so sweet," Temari smirked. "Isn't it, Gaara?"

Gaara gave his sister a death glare.

Matsuri eyed the two, confused, but then gestured out the window. "She's down in the courtyard teaching them about medicinal plants and how to make flower arrangements. It's so cute! Even the little boys are into it!"

The trio went to the window and indeed, Sakura was sitting in the court garden, surrounded by a giggling group of children weaving flower crowns. She looked like a natural with them, smiling and laughing as some younger boys grabbed and played with her pink locks.

Even after Temari and Matsuri left to do work of their own, Gaara continued to watch Sakura in the garden. Even when down, she always had such a comforting air around her. Ever since she'd set foot in Suna, he was stuck in this strange loop. Watching, thinking, trying to remember any moments they'd ever shared together in the past. Anything that would make it easy to rationalize the sudden infatuation.

Half an hour passed and it wasn't until the whole group had wandered out of sight that Gaara realized just how pathetic he looked.

"Gaara-sama?"

A sweet, familiar voice floated to his ears, but when Gaara turned around, Matsuri was in the doorway again, looking concerned.

"Matsuri," he breathed out a sigh and straightened up immediately. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," she blushed and then stepped out of the doorway to reveal Sakura, holding the hand of a little white haired boy, sucking on his fingers. Behind her, a crowd of 10 or 12 more children huddled, peering eagerly into the office.

"Kazekage-sama, they're ready for you," She smiled, and Gaara had to swallow a lump in his throat. She looked angelic with a crown of daisies in her hair and several crooked chains hung limp around her neck.

"Thank you, Haruno-san," he managed, and turned to the group of children as they rushed into the office and busied themselves peering at open scrolls and books on the shelves. Gaara had no idea how to control the sudden burst of energy.

"Hey guys!" Upon seeing Gaara's initial awkwardness, Sakura quickly rounded them up into a circle on the carpet. "How about we ask the Kazekage some of the questions we came up with this afternoon?"

Smiles burst out over the group, and several hands shot up. Gaara pointed to a little girl with a face full of freckles.

"What do you do all day?" She grinned, and Gaara took a deep breath.

"Well, truthfully in my day to day operations there's quite a lot of bureaucratic r—

Sakura cleared her throat quite aggressively, and there were a few giggles in the crowd.

"I mean…."Gaara paused. "I help protect Suna along with my brother and sister. Every day we look out for possible threats and do our best to make sure Suna gets along with all the other countries."

Gaara looked back at Sakura for reassurance, and she gave him a discreet thumbs up.

"And you make sure Suna wins fights against people?" Another child spoke up.

"I try to make it so Suna doesn't have to fight anyone," Gaara chuckled.

With Sakura in the wings, he managed to navigate question after question, from "How heavy is your gourd?" and "Why don't you have eyebrows?" to "Can my mommy have your phone number?" It was exhausting, but surprisingly fun. Gaara spent so much of his time holed in the office from day to day. He'd never had much time to interact with the children or people of Suna. Watching them all head for the door, he felt a little sad to see them go.

"When I grow up, I'm gonna be Kazekage!" A high pitched voice snapped Gaara from his daze.

The little white haired boy from before was at his feet, pulling gently on his pant leg.

"Then everyone will be proud of me!" He grinned.

Sakura, holding her thermos mid-swallow, watched as Gaara crouched and ruffled his hair. Her heart hurt, and she felt herself getting farther away.

"I hope I can see you accomplish all your dreams. But as long as you surround yourself with people who love and care for you, no matter what happens, I'll be proud." Gaara's voice was warm like the burn of alcohol in the back of her throat.

The little boy beamed, and then rushed out the door, bragging to all his friends.

Gaara had to chuckle. It would have been nice to experience something so interactive as a child. To feel invested in. But he had his people now. And Temari, and Kankuro. That was enough.

…wasn't it?

When Gaara turned around, he spotted Sakura crouched on the floor, picking a few stray petals from the expensive Persian rug.

"I owe you a great deal for all you've done today." He bent to help her. Without looking at him, Sakura collected a few crushed stems in her palm and held them to her chest.

"Well, I made a promise; I try to stick to my word." Sakura tossed the handful in the trash and then reached for the daisy chain around her neck. When she remembered the little hands that made it, however, stopped and smiled to herself. She didn't expect to feel so happy around them after everything. Maybe it was the dull buzz of the alcohol still in her system, but everything just felt so natural.

"Of course." Gaara crossed and shut the door behind him for privacy. "Sakura…"

"Sakura." She repeated it after him with a surprised smile. "Not Haruno-san? Wow…that's the first time since I've arrived that you've been so friendly with me."

"I…" Gaara started to scoff, but then smiled to himself. "Really?"

Seeing it relaxed her. Gaara really was gorgeous when he smiled. The tension in his jaw melted away and was replaced with a confident ease any woman would find sexy. It was obvious why he had so many eager female followers.

It was like when Sasuke smiled.

'…_used_ to smile,' Sakura corrected her thoughts.

"You usually give off this vibe. Like, everywhere you go, whoever you're with…you're just_ tolerating_ things. I was sure that it was the same with me." Sakura could feel the gin really start to warm her through, and the flirtiness from the other night was back.

"Really?" Gaara said, and then took a deep pause. He was starting to hate how eager he sounded with her. "I don't mean to be standoffish with people. It's just…"

"I know. You're a busy man." Sakura finished for him with a smirk. Gaara leaned against the desk, closer to her, and crossed his arms against his chest, amused. She was already getting good at picking out his standard lines.

"You know, it's ironic. I thought that as Kazekage I would become more…accessible."

"A tip." Sakura took a seat on the edge of his desk, briefly noting the way Gaara's eyes followed her legs as she crossed them. "Smile more."

"Smile?" He watched her lips quirk up.

"When I first saw you smile, it was like seeing a completely different person. Your people won't respect you less if you get out there with them. Laugh with them. Smile with them…touch them. Make them feel important to you. Deep down that's all anyone wants, anyway."

Sakura shrugged, but when she looked back up at Gaara, he seemed intensely focused.

"Even you?" he wondered aloud. Their gazes met, and Sakura couldn't help the blush she felt rising in her cheeks. She'd never known Gaara to be a flirt, and wondered if he was oblivious to the implication.

"Well, yeah. Of course."

Gaara nodded to himself, thinking hard. Being alone with Sakura was doing strange things to him again. He couldn't count the number of times Matsuri or Yukata entered his office talking about anything and everything, trying to draw out any bit of interest. He'd never paid them any real attention, but Sakura now caused him to do the prodding. Sure, she was smiling, but the same sadness and distance from the night of the party – he could feel it weighing on her like lead, and wanted to know why.

Why?

Because he _liked_ her. Because he was convinced she might _need _him. It was beyond egotistical, but as Kazekage he'd become so accustomed to tackling everyone's problems in a series of calculated, measured steps. He wanted this to be that simple.

'_You could touch her,_' a deep voice in his head murmured in response_. 'You could touch her and I'm sure she'd love it.'_

Gaara had to shake his head. He told himself it wasn't like him - the strange, carnal darkness. Or at least, it hadn't been for a while.

"After everything that's happened, I'm glad you came to spend time with us in Suna." He had to fight to get the words to sound smooth. "Seeing Naruto is always _interesting_, but you're someone I never got the chance to really know."

"There really isn't anything to know." Sakura said, but found herself staring at Gaara's lips.

Suddenly, she wondered what it would be like to take a piece of him before she left. It was so easy for men, why couldn't it be for her, too? Sakura took a moment to close her eyes, and felt the swirl of a dark wind around her. Then, the soft tap of two fingers against her forehead.

'_I'll see you when I get back.'_

"…Sakura?"

Gaara's deep voice shocked her back to reality.

"Hmm?" She smiled. "Sorry, I'm…elsewhere."

Gaara just stared at her a moment.

"Are you in danger?" He asked suddenly.

Sakura was taken off guard. She pulled her hands away from the desk edge and clenched both palms in her lap.

"Huh?" she squeaked out.

"Today, yesterday…you haven't seemed like yourself."

Sakura had to resist the urge to snort. _'These men… always acting as if they know everything about you.'_

"And what is…_myself?_ How is it that I normally act_, Kazekage-sama_?"

Gaara bristled at the sharp way she said his title.

"You'll have to forgive me it's just…" He tried again. "What I said to you last night…. I didn't mean to insinuate that you're causing me trouble. I think I'm generally quite good at reading things, and just meant that if you're in any danger at all, I don't think it would be wise for you to leave now. "

_Is he trying to trap me here? _She wondered into the new, awkward silence that settled between them. She wasn't sure if Tsunade, Ino or Naruto had voiced concerns or suspicion to him, but whatever it was, she knew something wasn't right.

"Gaara, I assure you I'm fine." Sakura plastered on another false smile, and let her hand wander across the desk to cover his. She was beginning to understand the way she affected him, and knew it was in her best interest to use that against him.

Small fingers, warm like mother's milk stroked his palm and he felt a little tension melt from his body. They were close again – close enough for him to smell the strange, flowery perfume of gin on her breath, and daisies in her hair. He didn't like it, but he kind of loved it.

"Take me out tonight." Sakura leaned in, and though Gaara was visibly uncomfortable, couldn't bring himself to pull away.

"What?"

"I mean you did say you owe me one, right?" Sakura swung her legs a little as she leaned back on the desk. Gaara's hesitant gaze followed her swaying motion.

"I don't think that's—

"Dinner." Sakura was insistent. "Everyone has to eat. And I'm sure you have a favorite place, don't you?"

"I…"

"Then it's settled. I'll meet you here around 8, if that's okay…?" Sakura lifted her hand and brushed her fingertips across Gaara's cheek, down to the corner of his lip.

He felt himself reacting, and, panicked, caught her by the wrist. "What are you doing?"

Sakura was startled at first, expecting a burst of anger, but then smiled to herself when she saw the light flush on his cheeks.

"Nothing," she whispered, smoothing his collar. "I just thought—

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Gaara was unusually startled when it swung open to reveal Matsuri. If it were Temari or Kankuro he would have understood the sudden entry, but Matsuri was never usually one to unnecessarily invade his professional space.

"Gaara-sama." She said, but remained standing in there doorway, staring straight at Sakura. Normally, the pink-haired ninja would have stared her back down, but something told her to restrain herself. Although she tried to convince herself otherwise on a daily basis, it wasn't long ago that she too was a young fangirl.

"Is there something the matter?" Gaara finally straightened up completely, looking serious as usual.

"Well…" Matsuri's eyes darted between them, and then to a set of yellow stains on Gaara's shirt collar and close to the side of his mouth. He seemed totally unconscious to it all.

Immediately feeling awkward, Sakura pushed away from the desk altogether and tried for the door.

"I'll see you later Matsuri," She smiled through an awkward wave, but quickly noticed the way the young girl's gaze flicked briefly to the yellow pollen stains on her fingertips. She curled them down into her fist.

In the room, there was a sudden surge of chakra.

"Yes," Matsuri whispered, clutching her clipboard to her chest. "See you later."


	7. Single Malt

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 7: Single Malt

* * *

Blood. In her mouth. On her teeth. Her skin. It was all she could taste.

God damn, Matsuri could really pack a punch.

Sakura knew she should have expected trouble the moment the young girl had asked for an impromptu sparring session, but at the same time something told her saying 'yes' was the least she could do for Matsuri. even though she'd told herself her teasing with Gaara was just a means to an end, Matsuri was a reminder of the truth. He was somebody real - not just a plaything. Somebody treasured and loved. Sakura had planned on spending the rest of her afternoon at the hot springs, but as soon as she could, Matsuri cornered her in the hall and demanded she help her train.

Now, Sakura was flat on her back, trying desperately to rub the soreness out of her jaw.

Any other day, it wouldn't have taken much for her to beat the girl straight into the ground, but somehow, something told her Gaara wouldn't be pleased. He was loyal to his people, especially his staff, and Matsuri seemed a little more than that.

_'__Probably fucking her,'_ she thought, spitting bright red into the sand. Now matter how docile he seemed at times, Sakura was convinced men like him - men with unfathomable power - were all the same.

She would just have to take one for the team. She was used to that.

* * *

_ "__I didn't…I didn't know how to tell you." Sakura's shoulders shook as she cried on the floor, blood oozing from a cut on her lip. _

_Sasuke's eyes were wet too, but she knew there was no way he'd let the tears fall in her presence. _

_"__Fuck it, I wish you hadn't." He clenched his fists, and the action made her squirm against the floorboards. He hadn't meant to hit her – she knew that— it was just so much for him to take all at once. His dreams, crushed._

_She couldn't blame him. _

_No. _

_Never blame him._

_"__You get my hopes up and in the end…. In the end you couldn't give me this one thing. The one thing I ever asked for." Sasuke struggled to keep his voice even and flat._

_"__I know…" Sakura covered her mouth to keep from sobbing – and the blood off the floor. "But we can try again. We can try and try and just…"_

_For a while he let her cry there in a pathetic heap, just standing over her trembling form. No matter how much training she did, she was always so weak when it came to him. Sasuke bent and leaned in close, as if studying the damage he'd done to her face. When close enough, he put a hand around her throat, squeezing slightly. _

_"__Sasuke-kun…"Alarmed, Sakura caught Sasuke's wrist between hers. He was never extreme with violence, but that night she didn't trust him._

_Sasuke saw the fear in her eyes and breathed soft against her ear. _

_"__I'm…" he hesitated. "…Did I hurt you?"_

* * *

"Sakura-chan? Did I hurt you?" Matsuri rushed over, and Sakura blinked open her eyes.

For a moment she stayed perfectly still, flat on her back, staring up at the darkening Suna sky. She could feel angry grains of sand embedding themselves in her calves and the backs of her knees. Above her, fat, lazy clouds made a slow stretch across the darkening sky. They trailed towards the Kage tower.

"Sakura-chan?" Matsuri finally leaned in, but Sakura noticed she didn't offer a hand. "Are you hurt?"

Forcing a smile, Sakura pushed up onto her forearms and leaned back.

"Not at all." She spat to the side again, and then managed to right herself. It was mostly true. Matsuri was strong for a genin, but after training with Tsunade, Sakura saw her little punch as no more than a stinging slap.

"U-um...good." Matsuri flexed the trembling fingers in her fist and got back into a ready stance. "I can tell Gaara-sama admires you, and I'm sure I have a lot to learn from someone _so experienced._"

Her words were dripping with venom, but it only made Sakura smile. All of a sudden she remembered the Chuunin exams, and the feeling of fighting so hard for a boy who would never give her the time of day. She thought of the moments she'd lost with her friend, and the years of joy she'd never get back.

_'__Stupid girl.'_

"Hn," Sakura chuckled to herself. "I'm sure."

"Ready?" Matsuri asked, but before the question was out of her mouth, she was charging toward Sakura with her fist up.

It was easy for her to dodge the first blow, and see a simple opening in the pathetic attack. One second and Sakura could have grabbed her skinny little arm, wrench it back, and with just a quarter of her strength send her flying over the tower walls. Instead, she let Matsuri double back and try again.

This time, Sakura took the hit.

_'__You deserve it you stupid cunt.' _A voice in her head chuckled, throwing her off balance.

Her shoulder hit the ground first, and she felt it pop sharply out of joint.

"Shit!" She grit her teeth, but was careful not to let Matsuri see the pain on her face. She'd planned to roll through the strike,, but once again let her thoughts get clouded with negativity.

"What the fuck's going on here?!" The familiar low timbre of Temari's voice boomed out over the courtyard. Seconds later, Sakura felt herself being yanked up by the collar. She couldn't help but think that she was really too old for this shit.

"T-temari-san! I…we were just…"

Sakura could hear Matsuri stammering behind her.

"Take it easy, Temari." She pulled out of the girl's grip with only an ounce of her strength. While Matsuri gaped behind them, Sakura to wipe a stream of blood from her nose, but ended up smearing it over her cheek. "We were only training."

"Training?" She barked. "You're supposed to be resting! You're on vacation!"

"Sakura-chan said that…" Matsuri started, but Temari shot her a fierce glare.

"Don't you have work to do somewhere?" she snapped and that was all it took to send the brunette racing off toward the Kage tower. Sakura couldn't help but chuckle. Temari really was something else.

"What are you laughing about? Just look at yourself!" Temari gestured to Sakura's shoulder and the way her arm hung limp at her side. "Jesus…why did you let her beat up on you like that? You know she's not going to learn anything."

"She'll learn everything soon enough," Sakura muttered, but Temari heard every word.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She caught Sakura by the good shoulder as she started to move away.

"Un? Nothing. I just…I guess I just wanted to make her feel good about herself," she clutched her bicep and then shoved it back into place with a grunt. Temari grimaced at the sound but Sakura knew she looked horrible.

Temari's gaze softened for a moment. Things were changing quickly, and she could barely recognize the kunoichi before her anymore. When Sakura noticed the older girl was no longer chiding her, but instead just staring, she felt awkward.

"Was that it?" She pressed her wrist firm against her nose to stop the bleeding. "I've really gotta—

"—No. Naturo's here to see you."

"What?" Sakura's stomach twisted in knots. It had only been three days since she'd fucked up and left Konoha, and the embarrassment was still fresh. She hadn't expected anyone to come looking so soon.

"Naruto? Wh-why?"

Temari refused to look at her face, and the way blood poured down over her chin. She spoke with her back turned. "Seems like that's between you and him."

* * *

Four long meetings and three piles of paperwork later, Gaara was still majorly pissed. Ever since Sakura had appeared in his life, he hadn't been able to get any work done. And now he was supposed to have dinner with her? He looked at the clock. When had it gotten so late? 6pm was only moments away, and he felt an unfamiliar anxiety twitch at his fingertips.

Two hours.

Two hours left.

He scribbled down a memo and the tip of his pencil snapped.

"Shit."

He wasn't being professional.

The moment Matsuri entered the room and caught them together, Gaara knew he'd fucked up. The young girl looked up to him as a measure of strength and rationality, just like the rest of his people. He wasn't supposed to be entertaining simple-minded things like flirtation.

'But…' Gaara raised a hand to his cheek, remembering that warm, soft touch.

But he_ liked_ it. He had to admit it. To himself at least, if not to anyone else. It had been a while s ince he'd felt a female's touch like that. Typically he avoided the shameless flirtation of his fanclubs and ignored anything remotely sexual, but moment by moment Sakura was disturbing his rational shell. Chipping away at it so much that he felt something dangerous would spill out.

In the past, Naruto had pined for Sakura, and now he understood why. There was something devilish about that girl. Something fierce yet broken that the shameful part of him craved. If Shukaku were still with him, the raccoon would have had a field day.

All that time, he'd tried to remember the last time he saw her. But the moment she'd touched his cheek…it was clear. He didn't know if it was her skin or her chakra, but there was definitely something about that touch.

A few months prior when Naruto and his friends had come to do a minor mission. Sakura was there to help train and boost their medical force after the war. Gaara had somehow managed to avoid seeing her most days, but that night he stopped in to the nursing facility after hours for a checkup. He hated them, but the yearly scan was required as part of his contract.

She'd looked different then. Kankuro probably would have said fat, but really only_ s_ightly _fluffier_ around the hips and face. Gaara had chocked it up to stress during the war – God knew he'd had his own fluctuations during.

Leaning back in his office chair, Gaara closed his eyes and could still see her. Face soft and slightly full at the cheeks. Hair styled in shoulder-length pink waves. The way she took the scent of strawberries around with her as she moved.

* * *

_She wasn't wearing her usual ninja garb, but instead a small lab coat and shapeless green shift dress that seemed to dwarf her. Still, even hundreds of miles away from her home country, Gaara couldn't help but think that think she looked right at home._

_"__Kazekage-sama." She smiled warmly as she looked up at him in the doorway. "So nice to see you. Come in."_

_"__I apologize for the late hour," Gaara looked around, slowly, in search of the plump older nurse who usually saw him. "I typically—_

_"—__It's no trouble, Kazekage-sama." Sakura pulled a fresh sheet over the bench and fluffed the pillow. "Nurse Midori left early to pick up her grandson, but she told me all about your checkup. I'd be honored to do it for you."_

_Gaara hesitated for a moment, but when Sakura ushered him forward, relented._

_"__Hardly an honor, I'd say." He mustered a tired smile for her. Those days, Gaara was careful to heed Temari's words about softening his brusque personality. He'd been trying but often failing to promote a welcoming image as Kazekage, and knew the best thing he could do was practice with someone as neutral as Sakura Haruno._

_"__Oh don't be modest. You're a pillar of-" Sakura stepped forward to help Gaara slide his gourd off, but grunted heavily __when it thudded against her shoulder._

_"—__Fuck! I can't believe you carry this around all day!" She cried out without thinking, and Gaara watched her face go bright red. Smiling, he shouldered the familiar weight and set the gourd down._

_"__Uh-I mean…"_

_Gaara's smile widened at the unusual reaction. Excluding Kankuro and Temari, he was used to everyone being so formal around him. "No, you're right. It really is a bit of a pain. I'm thinking of downsizing." _

_Sakura giggled at this, and Gaara decided he really liked the sound. He hardly made jokes, but even in the rare moments, most people tended to shrink away, unsure._

_"__Well, your posture is great, regardless." Sakura made a note as he turned around to have a seat. She reached behind the chair and grabbed a fresh gown to hand him._

_Before she could turn around or leave, Gaara began to peel off his shirt and trousers. For a moment, Sakura seemed to want to say something, but instead slid her gaze to the floor with a blush. It was odd, he thought, for a trained nurse. _

_"__Haruno-san?" He asked after he'd finally shifted into the paper gown. She lifted her head and pretended as if nothing had happened._

_"__Gaara…" Sakura murmured as she took in his frame. Gaara knew he'd lost a bit of weight over the weeks prior, but felt unusually self-conscious under her gentle gaze._

_ "__You really should take care of yourself more." Her hands lit up with a soft green glow as she passed them over his body, warming his skin. "Are you getting enough roughage?"_

_Gaara watched her intently. The green glow reflected back and lit up her face - smooth and clear. "There's been a lot of work and reform these days after the war. I admit I haven't been paying much attention."_

_"__Gaara, you're severely anemic. Is there anything else you haven't been paying attention to?" She finished her scan and placed her hands on her hips. _

_"__I've had some trouble sleeping," he admitted, and then felt embarrassed. He hadn't ever spoken about that with Midori, but there was something calming about her aura that made him feel relaxed. "I can't remember the last time I slept through the night."_

_"__How long?" Sakura furrowed her brow and leaned in, gently pushing and massaging at his neck and shoulders. His skin felt unusually warm under her touch. Midori's hands were always a little cold._

_Gaara smiled to himself. "24 years," he responded, and Sakura squeaked._

_"__Gaara!" On reflex, she smacked him sharply in the back of the head. Gaara hadn't expected it, and jerked forward. Redfaced, Sakura sprang forward to stabilize him. She'd gotten so familiar with healing stubborn Naruto all the time… the smack was second nature._

_"__A-ah-…" She squeezed his arm in desperation. "I-I'm so sorry Kazekage-sama! I-I just—_

_"—__Now I know why Naruto's so scared of you," Gaara rubbed the back of his head with a wincing smile. Temari was the only one who ever dared to get close to him such a manner. Even Kankuro was frequently scared away by his sullen moods. _

_"__I just can't believe you'd leave something like that so long!" Sakura placed her hand over his and sent a warming flow of relief to the sore patch. Gaara felt his eyelids droop slightly._

_"__Sleep is so important, Gaara. You can't function at your highest capacity if your body isn't refreshed! How have you lived like this?" She pressed. Gaara's eyes blinked slowly, struggling to focus._

_"__Meditation… helps, but when work is heavy …I don't always have the time," he murmured. _

_Sakura smiled and eased him back onto the table. _

_"__Relax," she warmed her hands against her hips and then pressed her palms to his temples. They radiated with a soft pink energy. "The workday's over for now. It's time for you to take a little break."_

_Suddenly, Gaara felt himself sinking down. Down, down into an unfamiliar abyss. Startled by the new sensation, his arm shot out and bumped Sakura's stomach. It was firm and protruded far more than he realized. Immediately, Sakura jumped back to shield herself. _

_He looked up at her, eyes wide, but sleepy._

_"__Sorry!" Sakura's cheeks filled with blush again, and her smile softened. After a moment, she leaned in. "Look, don't tell anyone, okay? I want it to be a surprise."_

_Still hazy, it took a moment for Gaara to process what had happened. But he nodded and concentrated on the feel of her hands as she shifted them back into place._

_"__Just relax, Gaara." She whispered. "Sleep."_

* * *

Gaara blinked open his eyes. For a long while he stared out over his desk to a patch of daisies on the carpet that Sakura had missed.

_'__That's right,'_ He finally came back to life. _'She was expecting. How did I forget?'_

Now, it seemed something like a hallucination. A memory erased by the way she touched him. It had been so long since he'd thought about that time. She was slim now, almost underweight looking, and had been drinking heavily just nights before. _Maybe it never happened_, he thought.

Gaara was still staring at the spot on the floor when Kankuro appeared in the doorway, holding a cone of pink frozen ice, most likely from one of the street vendors in town. Just seeing it made his stomach felt odd.

"I really wish you'd knock," Gaara muttered. He watched his brother start to sit down and no doubt begin to spill sugary ice water on his carpet.

"Why, were you jerking off?" He chuckled.

Gaara didn't entertain the remark with a rebuttal. Instead, he tipped his hourglass over and frowned.

"You have three minutes to get whatever you need out of your system and leave."

"I just need three seconds." Kankuro approached the desk and Gaara shielded it from a drip of sugar water.

"What?" Gaara's brow twitched.

"Naruto's here."

Gaara was surprised, but masked it with annoyance.

_'__What is this, let's bother the Kazekage week?' _ He thought, sourly. Kankuro picked up on the change in his mood and chuckled.

"He's here for Sakura, but according to Temari, she's avoiding him. Which, after the whole 'I finally realized I wanna fuck you' thing at the party, I totally understand. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that girl is trouble."

Gaara directed his attention back to the spot on the rug, but Kankuro walked into his line of view.

"You should see him." He narrowly avoided dripping ice on the desk surface. "He's looking pretty torn up."

_'__Since when am I any good at dealing with things like this?' _Gaara wondered to himself, and Kankuro seemed to read his mind.

"He's your friend," The puppetmaster said in between licks of sugary ice. "Sometimes we have to do uncomfortable things for our friends."

Gaara sighed. Something was really wrong when Kankuro was the voice of reason.

"Send him in." He waved a hand and Kankuro exited. A few moments later, Naruto stepped through.

Usually the blonde was bouncing off the walls as soon as he stepped foot in the office, but when Gaara met his eyes and saw the vacant look there, he knew something was terribly wrong.

"Naruto." He nodded casually, and the blonde shut the door behind him. He was dressed in his usual black and orange, but instead of smiling and forcing Gaara into a hug, he flopped down on one of the chairs opposite his desk.

"Gaara," he said, but looked out toward the open bay windows at the setting sun.

"Kankuro said you're here to see Sakura." Gaara looked at the spot on the floor with the pollen now mashed into the carpet fibers, and felt a strange heat rise up in the back of his neck. He hadn't experienced the sensation since he was a young child.

Guilt.

Shame.

"Temari says she's at the hot springs. I'm just waiting."

Gaara turned his attention to a stack of papers on his desk and pretended to be reading through. Naruto still hadn't taken his eyes off the window, but even so, Gaara felt more than uneasy.

"I'm worried about her, Gaara." Naruto stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets.

Gaara felt his stomach start to knot up, but silenced the churning it with a deep, meditative breath. "No need. She's on vacation and Temari's looking out for her. I'm sure she's in good hands here."

"You don't think it's weird she ran off here all of a sudden? She didn't even mention it to me. Or Hinata. Or Ino." He finally turned and Gaara kept his gaze down, afraid that something in his face would betray him. Sakura hadn't shared any of her motivations with him, and yet still he felt as though he were keeping a dirty secret.

"I don't know her or the circumstances around why she left," he said. "Only what Temari told me."

"When she came on to me at the party I…" Naruto leaned forward on the desk and Gaara had no choice to look up at the young man. "I remembered how much I'd loved her before. And wanted her happiness."

"Naruto—

"—Everyone at home keeps trying to keep up the charade that Sasuke's coming back and they're going to be a couple but…I don't even know if _she_ believes that anymore."

Gaara didn't know what to say. There was something majorly uncomfortable about discussing Sakura Haruno, _especially_ her love life.

"Well _is _he? Is he ever coming back?" Gaara asked, but really didn't care. As far as he knew, Sakura was better off without him. No matter how many pardons the Uchiha had received, in Gaara's eyes, nothing had really ever changed. Their country – _his people_— had fought tooth and nail for him to just up and disappear.

"I don't know, man." Naruto huffed a little. It was clearly a sensitive topic. "He's going through his own shit."

Gaara fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Well, she's resilient," he offered instead. "A kunoichi. She'll rise up and become better off without him."

"He's my _friend._" Naruto spoke as if Gaara hadn't said anything at all. "I truly think he wants to change, but just doesn't know how."

There was a silence, and Gaara was more than glad Naruto didn't ask if he could relate. Deep down he was aware that some may have seen a connection between the two of them. The painful past and turn for the worst... But Gaara couldn't accept it. He'd managed to turn himself around and rebuild connections with the people he loved the most. Sasuke had done nothing but tear them down.

"Well he can't expect her to sit around and wait," he snapped. When Naruto leaned back to look at the redhead, he was still facing away.

Gaara took another breath. It wasn't like him to have outbursts like that.

"I mean, it's not reasonable," he added, coolly.

"Have you noticed anything?" Naruto sounded desperate. "I don't know that she'd be someone to hurt herself or any kind of weird stuff like that but…"

Gaara squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight back memories of Sakura drunk and falling off the roof. Touching him. Coming on to him. He knew what desperation to be loved felt like, and whatever was going on was her business, not anyone else's.

"No," he lied.

* * *

As soon as Temari had mentioned Naruto, Sakura knew she couldn't face him. So, the first thing she did was make an excuse about cleaning up and head straight for the hot springs. Sakura figured the longer she soaked, the longer she could pretend none of this was actually happening. An hour in, the heat was getting to her head and it was almost as good as a few gin &amp; tonics.

_Almost._

She dunked her head under the near boiling water, held it, and then sprang back up, gasping through the steam.

"You'll kill yourself doing that." A low voice startled her halfway out of the water.

"G-gaara?" Sakura whipped her head around, shocked. She certainly hadn't pegged the redhead for a peeping tom.

When she saw Kankuro sitting by the water's edge, however, everything made sense.

"Heh. You wish," he snorted, gaze trailing to her breasts.

Sakura grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her exposed half, but not before giving the damp end a generous snap towards his face.

"Pervert!" She fumed.

Kankuro didn't even flinch. Instead, he stood and shoved his hands into his pockets, smiling.

"I don't get it… what is it with girls and that guy? Is it the red hair? I didn't think women liked firecrotch…"

"Kankuro…" Sakura, redfaced from the steam and hot water gave a warning glare.

"What? I'm genuinely curious." He crouched and Sakura stood, wrapping the towel around her entire body now. He really was lucky she was the only woman in there.

"Although maybe with you it's really basic. You have a thing for emotionally unavailable men, right?" He stopped staring at the outline of Sakura's breasts and shot her a pointed look.

"I mean, that's what you think he is, right? Some robot that doesn't give a damn. Like your _boyfriend_."

Sakura froze. She wasn't expecting the hostility in his voice. Of all people, Kankuro never seemed like someone to fire shots below the belt.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sakura insisted. "And I don't like the way you're t—

"—look, I don't care. I'm all for good times, but he's my _brother_. And he's been through some rough shit. If you don't think people here aren't suspicious about you or the way you've been acting lately, it's time for a fucking reality check. You're becoming a liability to your country and if I were you, I'd get my shit together real fast."

Sakura's face was still red, but now it wasn't from the steam.

"You don't tell me what to do." Her hands trembled as she gripped the towel around her chest. "You don't know anything about me!"

"And neither does he." Kankuro stepped close and pressed his lips to her ear. "Let's keep it that way."

Sakura wanted to lash out, but the moment she threw her fist, Kankuro was gone.

She wanted to cry, but instead ripped the towel from her body and threw it across the bathing area. Kankuro was Gaara's family – she knew it was about protecting his little brother, but it pissed her off just the same.

She had family.

She had friends.

Why was it that no one had ever protected her from _him_?

* * *

At 8 o' clock, Naruto was still in Gaara's office and Sakura was nowhere to be found.

"She brought up the notion to me last night, but I think you two should go out instead," He said while adding a few lines to a report he'd been straining to work on all day. "I have a lot of work to do."

Naruto perked up a little on the couch, curious. "She invited you to dinner? Why not Temari? Or hell, even Kankruo?"

"I'm not a mind reader, Naruto," Gaara sighed, but it was just another lie. For some reason, he didn't want to mention the favor she'd done for him with the down, he knew that all that would lead to was thoughts of how close they'd been on his desk and how soft her fingers felt on his skin.

Gaara hadn't realized he was holding his pencil so tight until it snapped in his palm.

"Shit."

"Probably because you look stressed as fuck," Naruto muttered. "Sakura-chan's always great at picking up on things like that."

"It's work," he shrugged, and then gave Naruto a little smile. "If you want to be Hokage, this is what your life will look like in the future."

Naruto gave a long moan. "No wayyyy. I'm gonna make it so life's a fucking party!"

Gaara couldn't help but chuckle. Knowing Naruto, it probably wasn't much of a stretch.

"You said eight, right?" Naruto got up and started pacing the room, rubbing his stomach. "It's like 8:20. Where is she then?"

"I—

"—Yeah, yeah, I know. You're not a mindreader. Sheesh. I'm starvinggg!" He flopped back down on the far couch.

"You have agency, Naruto. And you've been to Suna a thousand times before. Go get some ramen."

"Come with me!" He insisted, and though Gaara would have typically shut him down, decided he really didn't have the time or energy for another argument.

"Just an hour," he sighed, and stood. "That's it."

Just as the two started for the door, Matsuri knocked twice and pushed into the room.

"Wh-where are you going?" She looked puzzled and heartbroken at the same time. "I thought you said I should do some dictation with you this evening."

"Dinner!" Naruto jumped in. "By the way, have you seen Sakura-chan anywhere?"

"Mmmn…." Matsuri rubbed her chin, and then "The last time I saw her she'd just left the hot springs. She said she was going to back to the bar Temari and Kankuro took her to the first night."

"Gust," Gaara muttered, and nodded towards Naruto. "Come on."

"But—" Before Matsuri could finish, the two were gone in a flurry of sand and smoke.

...

* * *

As soon as they entered Gust, Naruto and Gaara easily spotted Sakura laughing boisterously at the bar. It was a slow night, and she was one of the only women there. Much to Gaara's displeasure, quite a few of the men of Suna were already taking advantage. As they approached, he could see that she was halfway in the arms of a tall, redfaced ninja, who was handing her what looked like a glass of scotch. She was talking animatedly about something, but the man seemed to be contemplating her bust more than her words.

When she turned, Gaara noticed some fresh bruising on her face and shoulder, and found it made him irrationally angry.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto called out, and Sakura spilled the drink on the counter as she waved back.

"Naruto!" She leapt down from her barstool and rushed over to hug them both. Gaara stepped out of the way at the last moment, keenly aware of the way his citizens were eyeing him. As soon as he entered, several men had moved from his path and immediately put down their drinks. It was the first time in a long time Gaara had stepped foot in a bar, and when the owner noticed, he nearly dropped his glass as he bowed.

Gaara couldn't help but feel a little self conscious. After all, he wasn't the party police.

"Sakura-chan I've been wanting to speak with you all day..." Naruto tried to smile, but it was obvious the pink haired woman's jerking, swaying movements alarmed him.

He cupped her bruised cheek when she stumbled close.. "Your face…"

"Ah, that's nothing. Training with Matsuri! Beside, I'm on vacation!" She shouted, unable to regulate her tone. "I don't wanna talk! I'm here to relax!"

"Sakura-chan!"Naruto grabbed her arm before she could think to pull away.

"Wait. Let's not do this here." Gaara took hold of Sakura's other arm and they walked her out of the bar. Her loud laughter toned itself down to giggles once they were back out into the fresh air and Naruto hoisted her onto his back. As they rushed back to the tower, and both prayed she stayed pliable. The last thing neither of them wanted to deal with was a drunk, angry, freakishly strong kunoichi. Thankfully, halfway through the travel, Sakura had stopped laughing and seemingly passed out completely.

Narrowly avoiding Matsuri on her way out, Gaara directed Naruto to the spare room and watched him tuck her into the large bed.

"I really wanted to visit with her," Naruto sighed to Gaara outside Sakura's bedroom door. "But you know I can't talk to her like this."

"She'll sober up by morning." Gaara was careful to keep his voice down.

"Jesus… I'm on a mission for a few weeks. I have to head back tonight." Naruto shook his head. "You'll look after her, won't you?"

Gaara closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. It seemed he was being shouldered with a lot of extra work lately.

"Gaara?" Naruto pressed, eyes pleading. "Just until she heads back home. Then Hinata and Ino will take care of her. No doubt."

There was more quiet between them, and Gaara honestly didn't know what to say. The closer he got to Sakura, the harder it was to focus. He was…afraid.

"Okay," he mumbled, and Naruto smiled, a weight lifted. Without seeking his approval, he sprang forward and enveloped the redhead in a firm hug. When he let go, Gaara extended his hand for a shake.

"I hope the next time we meet it's under better circumstances," he said as Naruto humored him with the handshake.

"Same," he said softly, and gave a sad look at Sakura's door before disappearing from the building.

The moment he left, Gaara let out the heavy sigh he'd been holding back. He could never say no to Naruto. The blonde had helped him through the darkest time in his life. The least he could do was watch Sakura for a few days.

Against his better judgment, Gaara opened the door to the bedroom. He'd expected to see her sleeping peacefully, but somewhere along the line she had kicked off the covers completely. She sat up staring straight at him.

"Why don't you leave too?" She snapped. Her eyes were smeared with mascara and bloodshot.

Gaara approached the bed, but was careful to keep an appropriate distance between them. "Well wouldn't that be complete opposite of what you really want? Someone to notice your hysterics?"

He knew it was over the line, but something in Gaara had snapped when he saw her in the arms of a strange man. The attraction was getting out of hand, and all he wanted to do was stamp it down completely. Still, his hard shell cracked when Sakura flopped back down on the bed. He saw the tears in her eyes and the way she sighed as if she were carrying the entire weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Kankuro noticed," she chuckled to herself, and Gaara felt something hot run through him again. Suddenly, he couldn't stop thinking about the way his older brother had held her so naturally in the doorway only nights before. He didn't know what it meant to be so smooth - so open with his intentions.

"What?" he said, a lot sharper than he'd meant to.

"He told me to stay away from you."

"_What_?" Gaara stepped in closer, sounding like a broken record. He couldn't figure out what Kankuro had to do with anything.

"He thinks I'll hurt you." Sakura turned over on her side, facing Gaara head on. She was only a little hazy from the alcohol, but found his looming presence was doing strange things to her sensibilities. Sasuke had never been one to ever comfort her when she cried, and she always longed for that attention. ...that touch.

There was a long silence between them, and suddenly Gaara felt the resentment shift from Sakura to his older brother. Yes, Sakura obviously had problems, but didn't they all? Wasn't it their job to help one another?

"You really can't pay attention to anything he says; I learned that years ago." Gaara tried to lighten the mood, but she shifted her gaze out over his shoulder.

Sakura curled her body into the fetal position. "Sometimes I feel like I just want to disappear."

She sounded so sad and empty. The words were flowing now, and Sakura couldn't stop herself.

"Don't say that," Gaara tried. He started to touch her shoulder, but then hesitated. He knew he was walking a thin line between appropriate and vaguely sexual.

"I'm truly a useless person." She stroked her stomach absentmindedly, and Gaara thought back to the memory he'd had earlier that afternoon.

He wanted to flood her with questions. Had she really been pregnant? Had she done something to her child? Had Sasuke? What the fuck was going on?

"You're nothing of the sort," Gaara insisted. "You're one of the strongest-

"-fuck, I wish you'd just kiss me," Sakura blurted as she stared up at the ceiling. It took Gaara completely off guard, and his instant reaction was to bolt. But before he could take a step back, she reached up and caught him by the wrist. Sakura's overwhelming strength threw him off balance, and he realized she wasn't nearly as drunk as she'd pretended to be.

"Why don't you want to kiss me?" She looked straight at him this time, gaze determined, but eyes glossy with tears. "Boys always want to kiss me."

Gaara tried to look away from her, but instead found himself instead concentrating on her lips. They were slightly parted and looked so soft and warm and pink. If he was honest with himself, he wanted to do so much more than just kiss her.

"I do," he murmured, and it was the hardest, strangest thing he'd ever said in his life. Gaara's voice was so low and quiet, Sakura almost didn't understand. But when he took a seat on the edge of the bed and began to stroke her cheek with his free hand, she got it.

"It's not appropriate." Gaara tried to sound convincing, but he was sure his lingering touch betrayed him. Part of him was embarrassed that he was apparently so transparent, but at the same time excited by her boldness.

"You can do what you want," Sakura insisted, sounding a little angry. "You can be who you want. You're **loved**, and no one would ever judge you."

_'__You're loved.'_ The words echoed in his head. It was true. His siblings, his people – they loved him, and he was afraid of losing that again. So afraid he never took the chances he wanted to.

"And you're strong," he said close to her ear. He was so close, Sakura felt her skin beginning to goosepimple. She could definitely tell why the girls were so crazy over him, and even if he was a manipulator like all the rest, she still wanted to indulge. For once, she would take what she wanted and leave a man wanting for more.

The moment Sakura closed her eyes, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. He'd wanted it just to be a peck –just to see how it felt—but couldn't stop himself. When she gasped, he slipped his tongue in, and when she moaned, he cradled her close to taste more.

Before he knew it, he was hard, and she was squirming on the bed, trying to kiss his neck while wriggling out of her shorts.

"Maybe we should slow down," Gaara remarked absently as Sakura's hands slid their way beneath his shirt. His own hands were squeezing her ass, but he thought he should at least _pretend_ to appear rational.

When Gaara looked up, there was a smirk on Sakura's lips.

"Why?" she asked, and he couldn't formulate a legitimate answer. Why slow down? He wanted her. She wanted him. Why should he stop?

In reality there were really a million reasons why, but he wasn't exactly thinking straight.

"I…don't know," Gaara said dumbly, and Sakura continued pulling at his shirt. Halfway through, he leaned back and finished the job himself. Somewhere between his pants hitting the floor and the baring of Sakura's breasts, he decided he was done with rationality.

Her naked body was foreign to him, but at the same time, familiar. In his youth, when Shukaku was with him and far before he became Kazekage, the full moon would drive him to make odd, late night visits to pleasure quarters in other villages and pick up older women. But as soon as the monster left him, it stopped. The desire hadn't, but it was shameful, he'd decided. Not becoming of a leader.

And more importantly, never as exciting as this.

It had been so long, he wanted to take the time to touch her body – thoroughly explore and map it out, but Sakura was in more of a rush. Her green eyes were determined and she wasted no time in straddling his waist.

The moment she sank down onto him, Gaara gasped. It wasn't a particularly manly thing to do, but it felt so good he couldn't contain himself. His hands gripped her hips more tightly, and when he looked up, Sakura's cheeks were flushed a delicious pink. She was lovely – even with the strange, soft purple bruising on her cheek and shoulder.

Gaara found himself wanting to say something - to compliment her, but Sakura stole the breath from his lungs.

She began to ride him; a slow grind that started soft and grew with intensity as she pushed her hips as close as possible. She arched her back and he watched the pink of her nipples harden. He wanted them in his mouth, but she was just too far away. Desperately he began to push his hips up to meet her slow, rocking movements, and Sakura started to moan his name.

He couldn't stand it. She'd only just started, and already he was going to…

"Sakura, wait-," Gaara tried to slow her and pull out, but it was too late. Blushing hotly, he let out a deep moan, and felt his entire body pulsing from head to toe.

Sakura bit her lip to keep from smiling too widely. She wasn't too surprised, really. Gaara was just a big ball of pent up tension, dying to be unwound. Who knew when he'd last been with anyone? For all she knew, he was a total virgin. Gaara, on the other hand, just wanted to sink into the bed and disappear. Sakura started to move, but he grabbed her hip.

"I'm—

"—don't worry about it," Sakura pushed up to let him slip out of her, but then settled back down onto his warm chest. "We can just lie here."

Suddenly looking quite determined, Gaara flipped her over onto her back. Before she could speak, she felt his fingers push in and sweep out. Then, his mouth leaving a trail of hot kisses down to her center.

She gasped.

_Definitely not a virgin._

* * *

Hours later, Sakura woke to Gaara holding her from behind. She could feel him fidgeting, and the firm heat of his erection against her thigh. It must have been the early hours of the morning, but she remembered he'd never really slept well.

"I'm sorry," he murmured bashfully against her neck. Sakura, still bleary, leaned back to see his face. The moon shone in from the window and there was something about the soft, paleness that made him look positively boyish.

"Don't be. Don't ever be sorry for anything you do to me." She kissed him. She didn't like to hear him apologize. Sasuke never apologized for anything. Gaara was far gentler than she'd realized, and it deeply disturbed her.

When she placed Gaara's hand on her thigh, he took it as a cue to lift and slide forward.

He paced himself this time, with deep, slow strokes. It was embarrassing how much he loved being inside her – watching their bodies meet and retreat and hearing her whimper softly his name. He reached around her to the hot, wet heat between her legs. This time, he was the one who felt her shudder first.

"Kazekage-sama!" Sakura clutched his hand and he couldn't bear it anymore. Maybe he was on a power trip, but there was something so sexy about the way she said his title. Soon, Gaara was pouring himself into her again.

He held her close, catching his breath, but held it the moment he saw her shoulders shake and felt a trail of wetness making his way down his wrist. When he leaned up and caught sight of Sakura's face in the moonlight, it was scrunched and wet with tears.

For a moment, Gaara's voice was caught in his throat. But in the darkness, trembling, he whispered out.

"Did I hurt you?"

_o.o.o.o.o.o.o.__o.o.o.o.o.o.o.__o.o.o.o.o.o.o._

* * *

**AN:** This chapter was so frickin' lonnnnng. My bad! ;p I get so carried away with plot points sometimes. Lots of stuff to explore next chapter.

Thank you for all who take the time to read and review and favorite and follow! :)


	8. You Could Be Happy

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 8: You Could Be Happy

* * *

"_You'll look after her, won't you?" _

Naruto's desperate words echoed in Gaara's head. After last night, he hardly felt as though he was doing that anymore. Standing under the hot spray of the shower, Gaara still remembered how warm her skin felt against his, and more troubling, the way she trembled, crying in his arms.

Looking after her? It seemed more like he was _breaking _her, bit by bit.

"_Did I hurt you?" _

The words seemed to shift something in her, and what were once soft whimpers turned into desperate cries. He could feel it – her small hands clutching at his chest, the way she buried her face into his neck.

"Yes," she'd sobbed. "You hurt me, you hurt me, you hurt me…"

He remembered the feeling of panic – so afraid that he'd done something irreversibly terrible. So afraid that someone might hear her, enter and catch them together. Gaara wanted to do something – get some kind of help, but Sakura held him close, as if begging him not to go. So he kept her cradled to him, and though her crying eventually quieted, it took nearly an hour for her to calm down completely.

She stayed quiet after that, and Gaara was left unsure of how to press further. Before he knew it, it was sunrise and he had to force himself to slip out of the room and prepare for his own day. Temari would probably say he was an emotional moron, but Gaara truly didn't know how to deal with most people in sensitive situations, let alone women.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the cool shower tiles, letting hot water beat down against his back.

'_Maybe this was a sign,_' he thought. '_Maybe I should stay away from her."_

Gaara rinsed his face and turned off the water. Just as he started to brush his teeth, however, there was a soft knock at the bedroom door. Usually Temari would stop by every morning with a cup of coffee and some fruit for him, but she was at least 20 minutes early, and he was a stickler for schedules.

Frowning, Gaara rubbed his hair with a towel, wrapped it around his waist, and then pulled open the door. Instead of Temari, however, he was greeted with a very timid looking Sakura.

"Um…"

Her pale cheeks warmed with blush, and Gaara yanked the toothbrush from his mouth. The last thing he wanted was to be seen in a state of disarray. Especially by her. Sakura, on the other hand, barely registered anything but bare skin and hard, lean muscle. Just the sight brought her back to the night before, and how good it had felt to be on top of him.

Sex with Sasuke was sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes unwanted, but never… anything like that. It wasn't just the feeling of Gaara inside her, but everything surrounding it. The calm and the peace – the way Gaara sometimes seemed so sweet and purposeful with his touches and gentle with the things he said.

She hadn't meant to cry. Her entire plan for Suna and Gaara was to use them for her benefit. Seduce and find his weaknesses. Blackmail him and be able to run. But suddenly it had become so overwhelming, and she was the one who felt weak in the knees. Kankuro was right - he wasn't what she'd thought he was.

He wasn't Sasuke.

It wasn't until Gaara reached forward and grabbed her hand that Sakura was brought back to reality. The door clicked shut behind them as he pulled her through the doorway, and Sakura had to look away from his bare chest in order to think straight.

"I'm sorry, I should have…" she trailed off, enjoying the feel of his hand still in hers.

"No, I'm sorry." Gaara let go reluctantly and tossed his toothbrush on the dresser. "Kankuro sometimes passes by in the morning and I didn't want him to see…"

He stopped himself, hearing how bad the words sounded, but it was too late. Sakura lowered her gaze to the floor and nodded. The few moments of silence between them felt like hours, until she finally found the courage to speak.

"About last night…" She said softly, and Gaara remembered the moment in his office days ago when she'd first arrived in Konoha. Her apology and the flirtatious invitation out. Before they'd ever gone any farther than a simple touch.

"Those words…I mean, what I said…." Sakura clenched her fists, determined to get it out. "It wasn't meant for you," she said firmly. "You never hurt me. I just…I wanted you to know that."

"_Then who did?"_ Gaara wanted to ask, but already knew the answer. The one who'd left her behind.

_Uchiha._

It didn't make sense to him. Just being around Sakura calmed him. Electrified him. If he were Sasuke, he'd never want to let her go.

"I'm just…sorry." She bowed low. "The last thing I wanted was to...I mean I really…enjoyed…"

Sakura struggled to get the right words out. She'd practiced the speech in her room for an hour since she woke up alone, but being in Gaara's bedroom… with him half naked and dripping… it was far too real.

She felt his hand on her shoulder and froze. Calloused, but gentle fingertips trailed their way up her sleeve, to her shoulder, to her neck. He let his palm rest there for a moment, and then leaned down, close enough to smell the gin on her breath. He was becoming used to the way she took the scent of alcohol with her now instead of strawberries, and it troubled him. Gaara didn't care about the apology or anything from before. He just wanted to touch her again. Make her feel better.

"If there's anything you ever want to tell me…" He trailed off, unsure. But Sakura understood. It was bizarre how much she understood. It was freaking her out, the way she found herself affected by his cool charm. Gaara wasn't the same Gaara she knew as a kid. The one who'd almost killed her – the one they called a monster.

He was warm inside, like sunshine, and she didn't deserve that.

"I want you," Sakura spoke with her eyes closed. "That's all."

The sound of longing in her voice had become a trigger for Gaara, and he couldn't restrain himself. Without warning, he grabbed her by the waist and spun her in his arms to face the bed. Sakura gasped when he dropped her down on the plush mattress. She stared up at him curiously, pink hair fanned out around her face.

"Gaara?"

"Say it again." His voice was strong and husky.

When she looked down, Sakura could see the hard outline of his erection straining against the cotton towel. Without thinking, she touched her tongue to her top lip. Gaara smirked and leaned over her body, bracing his weight with both hands.

There was something electric between them, and though she knew it was poison, she couldn't stop.

"I like to hear you say it." He kissed her nose, chin, and then the hollow of her throat. His fingertips skimmed over her bare legs, tickling.

"I want you." She murmured. "I want you." She reached for him with closed eyes, but Gaara caught her hand at the last moment and turned her back around, onto her tummy.

Before she could crane her neck to peek back at what he was doing, the edge of her dress was flipped up, and then her panties pulled down around her ankles. When he was sure she wasn't looking, Gaara tugged them off completely and held them to his face to capture her scent.

In the daylight, he had time to study her. The perfect curve of her ass, the way her vulva glistened wet with arousal and stained the cotton candy hairs there a deep raspberry. She was lovely. Even the tiny, barely-there stretch marks around her hips aroused him.

"Don't stare…" Sakura crossed her legs at the ankles in an attempt to hide herself, but it brought her rear end up higher, and only revealed more.

Gaara chuckled and spread her legs with both hands. Sakura struggled playfully at first, but the moment she felt his mouth between her thighs, gasped. Last night it was sweet, but this time, from behind, it felt more sinful. The way he suckled and kissed – how his tongue made long, hot trails over her flesh. It drove her crazy.

"Gaara…" She clutched one of his pillows to her chest as she moaned. It smelled just like him – like sweat and spice and heat. She couldn't help but press her face into the fabric, inhaling deep.

Lying there in his bed, face down, half in his mouth, it felt as if she were living in some sort of parallel universe. One where she was happy and this was normal.

With his mouth still pressed against her center, Gaara tugged his towel free and wrapped a hand around his length to stroke. He probably could have gotten off just like that – tasting her, feeling her push back against his face – but it would have been an opportunity wasted. Just as Sakura began to squirm with urgency, Gaara pulled away and quickly sheathed himself inside her. The warm, wet, almost velvety feel was overwhelming, and he forced himself to hold still for a moment to adjust.

He could really get used to that feeling.

"Gaara please…" Sakura's hand reached back to trail up his thigh. The way he filled her was wonderful, but she needed him to move.

Answering her plea, Gaara rocked his hips back, pulling almost all the way out before thrusting in hard. It was different than the night before – fiercer, more intense, but still so exciting. Sakura shifted up onto her knees to give Gaara a better range of movement, and he slid an arm under her body again, making sure to stroke her with his fingertips. A few minutes in and Sakura was so close she could taste it.

"Tell me," Gaara panted against her neck, right beside her ear. "Tell. Me. You. Love. It." His sharp thrusts punctuated each word.

"I love it!" Sakura couldn't resist. "I love your—

All of a sudden, there was a firm knock at the door. Gaara eyed the wall clock from the corner of his eye, and remembered who he'd been expecting in the first place.

'_Temari…' _

"Shit."

"Kazekage-sama…don't stop." Sakura covered his hand with hers and pushed back with urgency, seemingly uncaring of the disturbance. The pink haired girl was writhing desperately beneath him, and all he could think about was feeling more and more. Gaara picked up his pace and the knock came again, this time with a jiggle of the doorknob. He could only thank God it was locked.

For a second, Gaara thought of calling out and telling her to leave it in his office, but knew his voice would betray him. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed hot kisses against Sakura's neck as she came, squeezing his own finish out of him.

* * *

Sakura watched Gaara from bed as he dressed. She hadn't touched a drop of liquor since the day before, but just lying there, surrounded by his scent, she felt drunk. She'd wanted to curl her body into his and just sleep the day away, but Gaara was already running late, and she figured scheduling was a much higher priority than cuddling.

Sakura fingered the pillowcase, the smooth, expensive silk, and pressed it against her cheek. He laid his head there every night – thinking, most likely, not sleeping—and she got to share in a piece of that. Something secret and private that she was sure girls like Matsuri would have killed for.

Gaara's gaze met hers in the mirror and she felt her heart race. He had no idea how good he looked in the morning.

Why her? She wondered, watching his mouth quirk into a little smile before he pulled his shirt on over his head. He had so much power and so many girls willing to throw themselves at him 24/7. Something like this… it couldn't last. Sakura was beginning to feel a familiar sadness settle into her bones. Caring for someone and knowing it would soon slip away. She needed to detach – and fast.

The redhead ran his fingers through his hair a few times, attempting to slick it down, before finally shaking it into place. He frowned. It was getting a little out of control lately. In the mirror, he could see Sakura sprawled out on his bed, staring out into space. Her dress was pulled back down now, but the top hung open beneath her breasts.

Everything had happened so quickly between them, and he'd been more… _intense_ than the night before – he could only hope she didn't regret it.

"I don't want to cause any trouble for you," She said suddenly. Gaara paused, but then continued to fasten his cuffs together if she hadn't said anything.

She sat up. "With your siblings, I mean. I know Kankuro just wants to protect you."

"We all have things we want to protect," Gaara pretended to check his hair in the mirror again, but let his gaze settle on her exposed breasts. "There's a right and a wrong way to go about it, that's all."

"I guess." Sakura couldn't help but notice that his tone had gone back to businesslike.

When he'd finally straightened himself out appropriately, Gaara walked back to the bed and took a seat next to Sakura.

"You're no trouble at all." He was firm. "I promise."

Sakura bit back the urge to scoff. He didn't know her enough to realize she was very big trouble. Meanwhile, Gaara felt uneasy about the sudden silence between them. One moment he thought they were approaching something wonderful, and the next it seemed like things were taking another wrong turn.

"You've added a pleasant brightness to my life." he started to put a hand on Sakura's knee, but could practically feel her bristling already.

Sakura snorted, but redness filled her cheeks. "You don't have to say things like that." She suddenly felt conscious of her half naked state, and buttoned her dress the rest of the way up.

"It's just sex," she mumbled, but the words burned her throat.

Gaara felt angry, but didn't know what to say. He didn't understand much about the intricacies behind things like dating and hook-ups – he'd never had the time or desire. But he knew he wasn't like Kankuro, or even Temari before Shikamaru. He couldn't sleep with one person one day and another the next. To him, it could never be "just sex."

Even when Shukaku was with him and he used to pay for it, Gaara only ever saw two women. Older, mother-like figures who would talk with him well into the night. It wasn't until Naruto that he realized how much other people meant to him. How important human connections were.

"We're two incredibly different people," she continued. "You have so many people who love you, and somewhere down the line I became a monster."

Gaara flinched. He hated that word. And even more, he hated that she felt that way.

"You're no monster," Gaara insisted. "Why would you ever say…"

Sakura stood up from the bed suddenly and leaned into the space between Gaara's legs. She ran her fingers through his hair, smoothing and then mussing the strands, over and over.

"It's okay. You like that, don't you?" she squeezed her eyes shut to keep from thinking too hard on the words. "How fucked up I am? It's why Kankuro wouldn't touch me, and why Sasuke ran off God knows where. They knew. But you…"

"Sakura." He grabbed her wrist in warning, not liking the way he conversation was starting to turn.

"You must really love a project. Dumb, troubled girls you can fuck into submission…" she used her free hand to a finger over the kanji strokes of his tattoo. "Especially after a while of not getting any. It must be heavenly, that power. To have everything at your fingertips."

"Stop it!" Gaara hissed. He grabbed her other wrist and yanked her down so she would have to look at him, but Sakura turned her face in the other direction. She knew if she saw his face… those piercing blue-green eyes…she'd never be able to leave.

"I'm right, aren't I?" She chuckled to herself, but Gaara saw the wetness building in the corner of her eyes. "Must be why your dick gets so hard whenever I say your title like a drunk little bimbo. Huh, Kazekage-sama?"

Gaara dropped her arms completely, stunned.

"Don't worry - I'll let you get to work." Sakura stepped away from him and out of the room without another word.

As soon as the door shut, Sakura felt sick. Like the world was spinning, and she couldn't right herself. She wanted to vomit, but nothing would come up.

"Sakura?" A female voice startled her, and she looked up to see Temari coming down the hall, holding a tray.

"M-morning," Sakura tried to look normal – tried to smile, but she could feel herself sweating from head to toe. Temari put the tray down on a table in the hallway and used one hand to steady the girl.

"You don't look so good," Temari took hold of her wrist. "Jeeze—your pulse is racing!"

"No, it…I just came back from a run." Sakura smiled, but knew she didn't sound very convincing. Especially in a dress.

"Did you just see Gaara?" Temari ignored the lame excuse and gestured to Gaara's bedroom door.

"Me? No," Sakura lied. "I just came up to ask him something, but it sounded like he was probably busy so I…I thought I'd try his office instead."

The older girl stared at Sakura for a moment before picking up the tray again. It was clear she didn't believe a word out of her mouth, but obviously she had more important things to do with her time than start an interrogation.

"You should get some rest," she suggested, and Sakura nodded, although what she really needed was a drink.

Frantic, she rushed to her room and went digging through her bags for a bottle of something – anything – but came up empty-handed. Even her friendly thermos was bone dry.

"Fuck." Sakura dropped to her knees on the floor, clutching the edges of her dress in her palms as she cried. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Sakura-chan?" A small voice interrupted her struggle, and Sakura whipped her head towards the door. She'd been in such a frenzy she hadn't even realized she left it open.

"Matsuri…" Sakura wiped her eyes and forced a smile at the brown haired girl. "Sorry I…I was looking for something really important."

"Mn." The girl approached with her hands behind her back. When she reached the bed, she took a seat and pulled them out, holding a large bottle of sake. "Something like this?"

Sakura didn't know how to react, so said nothing. Matsuri was young, but she wasn't stupid.

"I noticed you like to drink a lot," she said softly, playing with the label on the bottle. "And so I thought I'd get you this."

Matsuri held out the large bottle, but as Sakura reached for it, pulled back. For a moment, she stared at the pink haired kunoichi, taking in the dark circles under her eyes and what looked like hickeys on her pale neck.

"Why him?" She pressed. Sakura tensed up.

"I don't know what you—

"You know exactly what I mean." Matsuri squeezed both hands around the neck of the bottle. "He hasn't been the same since you came here. It's a problem."

In her head, Sakura couldn't believe what was happening, but on the outside, fought to keep a neutral expression on her face. All she had to do was play it straight long enough for Matsuri to give her the sake and piss off completely.

"Is it, now?" She smiled warmly.

"I just think maybe you should spend less time trying to…seduce him. Gaara-sama is a strong, pure man."

'_Pure?'_ Sakura thought back to their morning romp and had to bite her lip to keep from smirking.

"You're really devoted to him, aren't you?" She smiled bitterly instead, easily pulling the bottle from Matsuri's weak grip.

"I'd do anything for Gaara-sama," she said, adamant.

Sakura took the bottle, twisted open the cap, and titled it up to her lips. Matsuri watched with a deep frown as she took a large swig.

Sakura winced. It was cheap, and burned hard going down.

"It'll never be enough, you know," she smirked. "Never."

Matsuri looked pissed, but she raised her chin, defiant. "It's enough just to be by his side. Waiting. But I suppose you don't know anything about that, do you?"

"What?" Sakura white-knuckled he bottle, and the color seemed to drain from Matsuri's face.

"I mean… It's just that…"

"That your love for your precious Gaara-sama is stronger than my devotion to Sasuke?" Sakura's eyes went dark with anger, but at the same time she felt like laughing. It was bizarre how much the annoying little bitch was like her as a kid.

She needed to learn now. Now before her entire life was wasted.

"N-no…" Matsuri stammered, trying to think of something to say to smooth it over.

"Listen to me." Sakura grabbed her thin wrist and yanked the girl close. Matsuri toppled over and let out a shriek as her knees hit the hardwood floor.

"You can spend the rest of your life chasing him, but I'm telling you now… he will fuck you over." She squeezed Matsuri's wrist hard, until it began to purple under her grip. "He will _fuck you_ until there's nothing left."

"Shut up!"

Sakura dropped her completely and Matsuri cradled her bruised wrist to her chest, sniffling.

"You just want everyone else to be as miserable as you!" She pulled herself up from the floor as Sakura took another large swallow. "You don't even care your own boyfriend's coming back!"

"What?" Sakura felt choked of breath.

"You mean you don't know?" Matsuri's lips twisted up into a self-important smirk, but Sakura was too stunned to say anything.

"Our intelligence has it that Sasuke's been spotted 150 miles outside the north gates." She headed to the doorway and shot back a dirty look.

"He can be the one to deal with you now."

* * *

AN: Fairly quick update, I'd say. :p Sorry, I know it's short. This was originally a much longer chapter like the last one, but I felt too much shit went down in the second part for me to include it all at once. Since I already have the second half ready, you can expect that one soon as well! Just trying to draw out some suspense. ;D


	9. Fireball

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 9: Fireball

* * *

In his office, Gaara yet again struggled to get anything done. All he could think about was Sakura, and the sad, cold way she'd spoken to him that morning.

_You must really love a project._

_It must be heavenly, that power. To have everything at your fingertips._

It disturbed him so much because it was partly true. Part of what intrigued him about Sakura in the first place was her vulnerability. He'd never seen her that way before, and Gaara had always been a firm believer that everything and everyone had a place in life. He wanted to be able to help. It wasn't until the flirtation started that he wanted more.

And so without thinking, he took.

There was a knock at the door, and Gaara straightened up. "Come in," he said, pretending to note something on a blank piece of paper.

"Is everything okay?" Temari asked as she set a cold cup of coffee on his desk. "I dropped by your room earlier this morning and you didn't answer.

"—I overslept," Gaara said, and then immediately regretted it. It was the worst lie he could have come up with. Temari knew better than anyone how fucked his sleeping schedule was, and Sabaku no Gaara _never_ overslept.

She put her hands on her hips, looking serious. "Really? Because when I knocked on your door this morning I swore I heard you moving around in there."

Thinking of Sakura again, Gaara felt his stomach start to churn.

"Actually…If I'm honest…" Temari's cheeks took on a light pink flush. "I swore I heard—

"—I have a lot of work to do this morning if you wouldn't mind…" Gaara tried to wave her off, but Temari grabbed his hand.

She was no pushover. While anyone else might back down easily at Gaara's sour attitude, the oldest sand sibling knew better.

"Was it Matsuri?" She asked firmly. Gaara just stared at her, unblinking. This was one thing he certainly did not want to discuss with his sister.

"Look, I don't usually give a fuck about anyone's sex life but my own, but if what I heard this morning really was with that lovesick kid…I certainly don't think that's the smartest decision you could ever make."

Gaara looked away and again, offered more silence. While the relationship with his siblings had improved leaps and bounds over the years, it was still hard for him to reach out with issues – especially ones so…_personal_. Temari, not prepared for an early morning standoff, sighed and headed for the door. But before she could leave, Gaara cleared his throat.

"Yes?" Temari crossed her arms against her chest, smirking.

"Ever since she came here… I haven't been able to figure out how to help her," Gaara said quietly. Temari stared at her little brother for a long while before pulling a chair up to his desk. It took a second to register, but she remembered what he'd said only a couple of days ago.

'_I think I'm attracted to her.'_

Deep down, she'd known it had to be much more serious than little Matsuri.

"Sakura," she whispered, thinking of how frantic the pink haired girl had looked when she ran into her that morning. "Wow, you move quick."

Gaara shot the blonde a dark look before continuing.

"I thought it might have been something good," He said slowly, cautious. "It felt…_right._"

Temari breathed out deeply and sat down.

"Look. I don't know what Kankuro or anyone else might have told you, but sex isn't…" She scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. "I mean…"

Gaara tried his best not to make direct eye contact with his older sister. He didn't need a "birds and the bees" speech – he needed a concrete solution to the distance Sakura was starting to put between them.

"Oh, fuck." She finally groaned. "Look, sex is fucking great, but for emotional things… It's just a bandaid. It might make _you_ feel better, but she…"

Temari let her palm rest on top of her brother's shoulder. "I'm betting she's got some stuff she feels she just can't get over. And this just adds on another level of 'way too deep shit.'"

Gaara put his face in his hands and then rubbed them up into his hair. He hated letting anyone see him in turmoil, but Temari smiled. There was something oddly satisfying about being a shoulder for her little brother to lean on.

"I should probably send her back to Konoha and let her forget this ever happened," he mused aloud, but found the words ached to say.

"Wait a minute…" Temari was stern. "Do you care about her?"

Gaara nodded firmly. Care about her? Of course he did. The problem was how much he couldn't _stop_ caring.

"Then why would you do that, you asshole?" She gave his head a playful thump with her fist. "If you care, then why would you ever let her go?"

"I made a promise to Naruto to look out for her," Gaara swatted Temari's hand away. "I really don't think this is what he intended."

"Screw what he _intended. _She doesn't need someone to babysit her. She needs understanding. Everyone goes through low points, but if there's one thing I've noticed about Sakura it's…she's very internal. Like you, really."

Gaara raised a ghost of a brow.

"Maybe Ino knows better, but I get the feeling Sakura never really lets on to everything she's dealing with. It's important for her to be a shoulder to her friends."

The office door opened suddenly and Kankuro rushed through. He seemed to have something urgent on his mind, but after learning what he'd said to Sakura, Gaara didn't particularly feel like entertaining his usual morning nonsense.

"We're busy," he said stiffly, but the puppet master pressed on.

"I need to…" Kankuro met Gaara's eyes and then stopped, as if sensing danger. "I need to talk to you, Temari. It's important."

Gaara didn't like the sound of that, but nodded anyway when Temari looked at him for permission to leave.

"Remember what I said." She patted his hand before letting Kankuro drag her out. As soon as they got down the hall, far enough away from Gaara's door, Kankuro turned to face her.

"What's your problem? Are you guys fighting?" Temari paused to roll her eyes. "…_Again_?"

Kankuro didn't respond until he'd led her all the way out to the balcony. "Sasuke Uchiha was seen this morning about 200 miles from the north gates early this morning."

Temari, thinking of Sakura, was quiet for a moment, but then shrugged. "So? He's probably passing through on the way to Konoha. Did you want to tell Gaara this?"

"You and I both know that would be a mistake."

"Why? If anything, Sakura's the one who might not want to hear it."

"Because she's screwing him," Kankuro hissed. "It's obvious, isn't it? Even though I told that troublemaker to leave him alone, she still went and—

"—hey!" Temari struggled to keep her voice down. "As far as I know, it takes two people to...samba…you know…whatever."

Kankuro pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look I don't have anything against Sakura, really. She used to be fun. But now she's got whatever it is going on with her and she's dumping it on Gaara. And he's the Kazekage, remember?"

"What's your point?" Temari folded her arms. She knew very well what her brother was getting at, but it wasn't fair. Gaara, more than anyone, deserved a normal life. Freedom to make love _and _mistakes.

"My point is… He doesn't need this right now. Getting mixed up in her petty drama or anything to do with the shitstorm that's inevitably going to kick up when Sasuke finds out is not going to look good for him or this country. The council's already down his throat for all the casualties and expenses from the war effort."

Temari leaned against the railing and took a moment to absorb the reality of Kankuro's words. Her brother was right, but she didn't like it. Since when was it considered the ninja way to encourage turning your back on someone when they needed you the most?

"He should be entitled to a private life," she sighed, and Kankuro nodded.

"Yes, he _should._ But the reality is, he can't. Nothing is private when you're a leader."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

* * *

"Gaara-sama?"

Later that day, Matsuri knocked softly on Gaara's office door. She knew his schedule top to bottom, and at precisely 5:15 every evening, Gaara took a 25-minute meditation break on the far side of his office, near the bay windows. She knew that as soon as he was done, she had at least a five to ten minute window to chat to him before he finished the rest of his official day.

So, at precisely 5:40, Matsuri pushed in with a smile. But instead of seeing Gaara moving away from the window as usual, she found him still at his desk, poking at the beef tongue bento she ordered for him the night before. Ever since she'd started working most days at the mansion as extra administrative help, she'd learned everything about his little quirks and favorites. The way he liked to spend spring mornings watering his cacti on the balcony, and how he always fought to hide his smiles when Kankuro would play his usual pranks.

His smile… she loved his smile. But ever since Sakura had arrived in Suna, she'd been seeing it less and less.

Matsuri had felt a smug satisfaction when the pinkette broke down upon hearing the news of Sasuke's return, but at the same time, it bothered her that she was beginning to take so much satisfaction in Sakura's pain. _But it's not fair_, she thought. _She's with Uchiha Sasuke! Why does she need Gaara-sama, too?_

When the door opened, Gaara shifted his gaze to her with a hollow smile.

"Matsuri," he nodded and then began prodding at his food again.

"Late lunch?" She smiled, approaching the desk with her hands behind her back. Gaara shrugged and took a bite of some seasoned rice.

"Is it late?" He mumbled.

"Forgive me for speaking out of turn but…" Matsuri chewed her lip.

Suddenly, fearing the worst, Gaara put down his chopsticks. "You can speak openly with me, Matsuri-san. Is there an administrative matter that needs to be addressed?"

"Actually…I wanted to talk to you about Sakura-chan," Matsuri said softly. She couldn't help but hate the way Gaara seemed to perk up at the mention of the pink haired shinobi.

"Did something happen?" Gaara's tone was even, but she saw clearly the way his whole body tensed up.

"No…well…I've just noticed that she hasn't done very much since she's been here," Matsuri said carefully. "Most of her time is spent in her room or…drinking—

"—that's not really any of my concern," Gaara immediately felt defensive. "Sakura…" He stopped himself. "Haruno-san is an adult."

Gaaara really did worry about Sakura, but although alcohol was a problem, it certainly wasn't the only one. Or even the most startling.

"It just appeared to me that you two might be close," Matsuri tapped her fingers on the desk top, but when she saw the look Gaara gave her, removed her hand completely.

"Matsuri did you have something you wanted to ask me?" He leaned forward and let his jaw rest on the heel of his palm. Under the fierceness of his gaze, Matsuri suddenly felt small.

"No I..." She clasped her hands together behind her back. Without finishing the sentence, she blushed red and rushed out the door.

Gaara sighed and put his head in his hands. Sometimes he really hated the constant feeling of scrutiny he was under as Kazekage. The job made him feel whole, but there was something about it that had not only the elders, but also the people of Suna watching his every move. He couldn't even visit the hot springs anymore without a local gossip magazine picking up on the trip. Gaara used to be oblivious to most of these things, but Sakura's presence was heightening his awareness. Even his own brother was putting in advice where it wasn't needed.

And now Matsuri? Gaara fisted his hair. She used to be the most uncomplicated and innocuous thing in his life.

His gaze slid to one of the potted cacti on his windowsill.

'_Well…__** living**__ thing.'_

Gaara couldn't even think to relax with Sakura in public because of what the council might think. Despite what Temari thought he knew, Gaara could tell his older sister was already getting quite serious with Shikamaru. If, down the line, they had offspring, they would be considered children of Konoha, not Suna. And lately, the elders were beginning to press him about marrying someone within their country to keep the bloodline strong.

It was all too much sometimes.

After a few more hours of paperwork and prodding at food, Gaara waited until Kankuro had made his rounds in the interior of the tower before knocking at Sakura's bedroom door. He'd wanted to see her all day. To touch and lose himself in the privacy of her arms. He could only hope she'd cooled off a little.

Despite not seeing her all day, Gaara could feel Sakura's familiar chakra signature in the building. Usually, he wasn't attuned to things like that, but it seemed ever since they'd had sex, made love, fucked, _whatever,_ he couldn't get the feeling of her entire being off him.

"Sakura?" He could hear the sound of quick movement inside, but the door didn't budge. Gaara knocked twice more, and after no response, pushed it open. Immediately, he was smacked in the face by the raw scent of alcohol. A large broken sake bottle lay by the bed, and Sakura was on her hands and knees in the mess of shattered glass, trying to stuff clothes into her rucksack.

There was so much blood, presumably from her hands and legs, Gaara couldn't make heads or tails of where the actual wounds were.

"Sakura!" He rushed to the frazzled looking young woman and pulled her back, out of the violent looking mess.

Her face was pale white, and it seemed like she was struggling to breathe.

"What happened here?" Gaara demanded.

"Sa-sa-sa…" Sakura couldn't form the words.

Gaara let his sand swirl around the room and begin to absorb the alcohol on the floor. The grains picked up the shattered glass and then crushed it down into powder before sifting back into his gourd.

"Sakura!" He shook her and the jolt seemed to snap out of her daze.

"I'm sorry I…." she pushed out of his arms and back into her pile of stained clothing. "I have to get out of here. I've-I've caused too much trouble. I'm too much trouble."

"You keep saying that," Gaara grabbed her up from the floor, but she struggled, and he had to fight to keep from squeezing her too hard. "But I'm telling you now that it means nothing. You're _not_ trouble. We all want you here. I want you here."

Sakura fought hard until she was free from his touch.

"You don't understand!" She ran her hands through her hair, smearing blood on the side of her face.

"Then help me understand!" Gaara slipped sand around Sakura's wrists and immobilized her against the wall. The feeling of being trapped sent anger rushing through her veins, and she almost head-butted him to get away.

"It's Sasuke!" She spat. "He's coming! Matsuri said your people spotted him at the north border this morning!"

Gaara froze. He'd been so distracted lately; he hadn't been paying much attention to the daily security briefings that ran across his desk. And the way Kankuro had come in that morning…

He should have known this.

He should have known.

"I can't fucking be here when he gets back!" She screamed, and for the first time, Gaara saw the fear in her eyes. Her hair, sweat-soaked, hung limp around her face, and her whole body trembled.

"I can't be here," she whispered. "I can't fucking…"

"What did he do to you?" His voice was soft, but she shook her head, as if in a trance.

He tried again, carefully. "What did he do to your _child_?"

For a moment, Gaara actually thought she might kill him. Thought he saw his life flash before his eyes. Sakura's nostrils flared, the color rushed back into her face, and the wood floors cracked under her feet. It was like a storm had kicked up in the room, intent on dragging him under.

"Who told you about that!" She barked.

"You did!" He shook his head at her, incredulous. "Don't you remember?"

Sakura's breathing came in frantic pants, and she nodded to herself. He was right. It felt like so long ago. The hospital in Suna. Seeing his body, feeling so ashamed at the way she looked at him while Sasuke was away.

And then…his hand. On her belly. Just barley starting to show.

"What happened?" Gaara pushed limp strands of hair from her face.

"What happened?" Sakura spluttered, sounding as though she was beginning to hyperventilate again. "The kind of thing that happens when you're not cut out to be a mother. One day I'm 11 weeks and the next…"

She placed her hands over her stomach, and then dropped them down, blood from her wounds splattering on the floor At once, Gaara understood.

"A miscarriage," he said it to himself more than anything, but Sakura nodded.

"He'd been gone two months and when he came back I… I had to tell him. That I fucked up. I ruined everything."

"It wasn't your fault," he assured her, but Sakura shook her head.

"Try telling him that." She forced a chuckle so hard the loudness made Gaara flinch.

"What did he do?" He clenched his fists.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut as if trying to block out memories.

"He just…he just couldn't get over it."

* * *

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"_At least you'll always be good for this, right?"_

_Sakura struggled to breathe with Sasuke's hands around her throat. _

_She'd meant to box up the toys and put them in storage – so he wouldn't ever have to see them again. But there was one, a little stuffed bear that must have fallen behind the couch. Sasuke had come back from having drinks with Naruto and was looking for a set of spare keys when he found it. That was all it took for the bad memories to surface again. _

_"Right?" He was clouded with anger. _

_He didn't understand what he was doing when he grabbed her, she told herself. _

_When he tore her dress. _

_When he forced her down. _

_But if she could just get him to stop…_

_Stop. _

_Stop._

_Stop!_

_She begged in time with his thrusts, but the words sounded like gargles through her caving windpipe._

_When he finally finished he left her there, bleeding and struggling to breathe. He was too ashamed to look back._

'_Sasuke-kun…don't go.'_

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

* * *

Sakura's odd silence disturbed Gaara.

"What did he _do_?" He pressed.

"Nothing I didn't deserve." She gave a weak laugh, but then covered her mouth to keep from crying out loud. "He's not a bad person…he's-he's not."

But seeing her that way, it drove Gaara crazy. As far as he was concerned, Sasuke was the monster. He couldn't imagine how it felt to lose a child, but to abandon the mother? To blame her the way he did? It was inexcusable.

"One day he just…he couldn't take it anymore. Told me he was leaving again. That he couldn't stand to bet there anymore and needed time."

"But I'm so tired, Gaara." Sakura slumped back down onto the floor. "I'm so tired of waiting there. In that house. Where he…where I…"

"You won't go back there." Gaara could hardly contain the anger in his voice. "I'll find some work here for you at the hospital. Teaching. Anything. I'll petition to Tsunade to extend your stay."

Sakura was startled by the desperation in his voice, but hours ago had already resigned herself to what she needed to do.

"You don't think he'll look for me here?" Her voice was soft.

"Are you afraid that he'll hurt you?" Gaara slid down to the floor beside her, and shifted Sakura into his lap.

Her mind told her to pull away and be rational, but he was too warm. Too good. Gaara stroked down her arms, trying to blanket the goose-pimpled flesh there.

"I'm afraid that…" she craned her neck to look into his eyes. "That if I stay, I'll just stagnate. That everything will just keep passing me by."

Gaara didn't quite understand, but held her close against his chest. He was strong, he thought. He could protect her from anything if she needed it. Sakura could sense the frustration building up in Gaara. He wanted to destroy everything that threatened her, but she wondered, how could he get rid of what was in her mind? The night sweats and the terrors, the tears and the panic…

That was the true reason Sasuke had run from her. Because she wasn't strong enough. Because she'd become a pathetic burden. She didn't want to become that for Gaara. She couldn't stand becoming another man's dead weight.

"Tell me the truth," she spoke suddenly. "Why did you sleep with me?"

When Gaara didn't respond right away, she turned in his lap. "Why did you choose me?"

"_Choose _you?" Gaara snorted. "Who do you think I am?"

"Don't act like that," Sakura frowned. "You have like the world's biggest fan club, girls throwing themselves at you daily—

"I don't see them." Gaara shrugged and Sakura shot him a dark look.

"What do you mean you _don't see them_? You quite literally have a line of women waiting around the block just to say 'hi' to you every morning."

"I _mean_…" Gaara lifted a hand wiped the wetness from her cheeks with his thumb. "Every day I get up, I go to work, I plan to keep it all safe… but I don't see them. _I saw you_. No matter how hard I tried to stop… I always saw you."

When Sakura didn't respond, Gaara took the silence as confusion, and looked away from her completely, blushing.

"I'm not good with things like this," he shook his head. "I'd like to try, but…"

Sakura felt the sensation in her heart again, the cool fluttering of excitement from his words.

"No. You're wonderful." She reached up and brushed his hair back with her fingers, stroking his temples. "Too wonderful."

When Sakura turned again in his arms, Gaara had to resist the urge to kiss her. He wanted her again, but it wasn't even remotely the right time.

"And honestly… I think even men often find themselves attracted to danger," he smiled, still stroking her arms. Sakura wanted to pull away, but found herself returning it.

"Have you spoken to anyone else about this? Your girlfriends? Temari—

"—she doesn't know," Sakura interrupted. "None of them know, and I want to keep it that way. "

"Sakura…I know my sister cares about you. If you told her…Or I could…" Gaara pressed, but she couldn't handle it. The intensity of the conversation was opening up old wounds, and Sakura felt panicked. She stroked her hands up his face and into his hair.

"It's late. You should go to sleep," she said firmly, her hands glowing with chakra. "Just go to sleep."

"What? Don't—

A wave of sand came up to guard its master, but before it could engulf her, Gaara slumped down and he felt himself falling. That familiar falling from so many months ago.

As soon as his eyes closed, Sakura slipped out of his arms and pulled away. Her breath came in heavy pants. She'd only used to put her most difficult patients under that way, but it was the second time she'd used it on Gaara. The twilight sleep he was under would leave him refreshed in the morning, but the memory would be broken and fuzzy.

She could only hope he'd never remember her at all.

Refusing to look at his slumped form, Sakura wrapped her cut hands up in torn section of one of her shirts and shoved the rest of her things in the rucksack. The second she reached the door, however, she felt a familiar darkness looming. It burst open and Sakura stumbled back into the dresser.

"Kankuro!" She gasped, holding on tight to the bag strap. The moment the sand sibling laid eyes on Gaara's limp form, he was filled with fiery rage. She was surprised it took so long for anyone to burst in on them after all the commotion.

"What did you do?" he grabbed her up by the throat. "What the fuck did you do?!"

"He's fine." Sakura choked out. Her voice was heavy with sadness, but she kept her chin up to stop herself from crying aloud. "He's asleep," she said softly, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

Kankuro dropped her back down onto her feet and rushed to Gaara's side. His heart slowed its racing as he felt his younger brother's pulse and heard the steady even breathing of sleep.

Sakura rubbed gently at her throat. "He'll wake up in a few hours and he'll hate me. And I'll be on my way to Mist. You'll never see me again."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kankuro turned on her again, but when he saw the cuts on her hands and knees, and the way she looked just about to break, took a step back to let the kunoichi breathe.

"I need to stop asking why I'm always left behind," she tried, but failed to sniff back the tears. "Because the truth is…I know. I'm not an asset. I'm a liability."

Kankuro remembered the biting words he'd left her with the day before, and felt something sticking him in the gut. He wasn't a cold person, but like Gaara, sometimes emotional things went over his head. Still, with Sakura standing there, shaking and baring her soul for him, he couldn't turn away.

"I want to be better than that. And you know better than anyone that he deserves better than that. So I can't stay." Sakura shouldered her bag again.

Kankuro's deep brown eyes studied her for a long while, and Sakura knew he was contemplating whether or not to turn her in. She couldn't take that chance. Fast, she grabbed for the door, but Kankuro was faster. His large hands snatched up her thin wrists.

Sakura cried out, but he silenced her against his chest. When Sakura relaxed, he let go and pulled free his kunai holster from his thigh.

"You'd better hope to God they don't ever find you." He glared at her, but pushed the weaponry into her trembling hands.

Tears running down her cheeks, Sakura nodded, but Kankuro closed his eyes and was quick to turn his back.

_This is it,_ she thought. _It's over. I can go. _

She wanted to run, but her feet felt glued to the floorboards. When she toward Kankuro again, she saw him lifting his brother's limp form into what used to be her bed.

'_Kazekage-sama…'_

She wanted to lie down beside him the way she did the night before. Let him protect her the way she always let men do.

But he looked so peaceful. And she would never give him peace.

Slowly, Kankuro's head began to turn toward the door.

And she ran.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

* * *

**AN:** I apologize for any typos in this! I'm uploading from work like a slacker bum and tried to get this out quickly. When I get home I'll do a grammar and spell check and update it if necessary!

Thank you so much again to those who leave lovely reviews and those who follow and favourite this story. I didn't totally know where this was going to end up, but now I'm more solid, so look forward to more twists and turns and to see where the story goes! :)


	10. Gone Girl

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 10: Gone Girl

* * *

Although it didn't show on his face, Kankuro was in a panic. Gaara was only asleep. Sakura was finally away from them forever. Still, it didn't feel right. Nothing about the tears in Sakura's eyes or his brother's lifeless form was satisfying. Temari was right – Gaara did deserve a real life – something beyond mountains of paperwork and eating dinner every night in his office. The hard part was, there were very real consequences to a life like that as the Kazekage. It was Kankuro's job as a bodyguard and a brother to shield him from those harsh realities. Still, something told him this was just the beginning.

The beginning of something terrible.

"Damn it, wake up…" Kankuro squeezed Gaara's shoulders and shook, but his head just lolled to one side.

"What did she do to you?" He wondered aloud. Kankuro wasn't very good with chakra control or similar techniques and didn't trust himself to cause more damage by attempting to break the bind. Instead, he stood anxiously at the bedside, monitoring the redhead's pulse every now and then.

Sakura said he would wake in a few hours, but it had been at least four since she'd left, and Gaara was still out like a light. That was when the doubt began to set in.

_Did I do the right thing?_ He asked himself. _Did she trick us all?_

All of a sudden, Kankuro heard the front door open and shut. He knew it was most likely Temari coming in from a teaching session or drinks with friends. He hoped it was the latter, assuming then she'd be in a mood less conducive to killing him once she saw the sheer scale of his fuckup.

"Yo Sakuraaaa! Stop moping around – let's go to the hot springs!"

Temari's tired exclamation told Kankuro it was the former, and he braced himself as the blonde pushed open the door to the spare room.

Meanwhile, only a few miles out, Sakura knew she had to rethink her plan. After spilling the beans about Mist to Kankuro, it would no doubt be the first place they'd send people looking for her. And on top of that, it would take at least five days for her to make it there by foot _and_ boat. She no longer had that kind of time.

Still, from Suna, Sakura's choices were drastically limited. Amegakure, though close, was easily out. The high surveillance and security checks would get her as soon as she set foot in the country, no matter what kind of lame excuse she made. Also, dry heat and sand was one thing, but there was no way she could take the constant rain.

Tanigakure was bland enough, but too close to Konoha for Sakura to feel safe. Her final choice was to head from Ishigakure, to Iwagakure. The rock village was close to Suna, but Sakura knew from history that the two countries used to be engaged in years of conflict. Despite the fact that diplomatic relations had greatly improved, she imagined that even if they did find her there, it wasn't likely they would immediately cooperate with her extradition.

It was a plan based on hope and sheer luck, but at the moment, it was the only thing she had left. In the dark, she struggled to push herself to keep running. Her legs burned and her heart hammered, but even still, she struggled through the sandy earth and wind. But it wasn't the fear of getting caught that fuelled her. Sakura knew that if she stopped, she'd be forced to truly reflect on what she'd done. Who she'd left behind.

'_Gaara…'_

Just his name had her lost in the memory of the gentle way he'd held her gently in his lap. She hadn't planned on caring so much. She hadn't planned on caring at all. The feeling of getting tied up in someone else… it would forever be her downfall.

"Ah!" Sakura tripped suddenly over a loose root and fell face first in the sand. The earth was moist and Sakura knew it was a sign she was getting farther from Suna. She couldn't move. Her body was stiff with fatigue, and weighed down by sadness.

Sakura was sick of crying, but the tears came anyway. Just as she felt herself breaking, a strong hand jerked her up roughly by the shoulder. Moving solely on instinct, Sakura pulled a kunai from her side holster and made a sharp jab over her shoulder, aiming for soft tissue.

Nothing.

Frantic, she made a move to strike and crumble the ground with her fist, but in a flash a set of strong hands grabbed her wrists and wrenched them behind her back.

"No! Let go of me!"

* * *

O.O.O.O

Hundreds of miles away in Konoha, Ino Yamanaka woke with a start. Her heart was racing, and it felt as though someone had sent a jolt of lightning through her veins.

"Fuck!" she gasped out into the darkness. Moving quickly, hardly thinking, she switched on the light next to her bed.

Next to her, Sai rolled over, annoyed.

"Are you serious right now?" He squinted against the florescent light. His hair was glued down to his forehead and his eyes, red-rimmed from a night of drinking she'd convinced him to indulge in.

"Something's not right!" Ino repeated, this time fully awake. She swept her long blonde hair back into its usual ponytail and checked the clock. It was only a little past 11 pm. The alcohol had knocked them out early, but something else had startled her awake. It was something halfway between a dream and a premonition. Sakura's face and then blood. Flashes of darkness, like something was totally and utterly wrong.

"The fuck…" Sai sat up in bed, still groggy, and took a hard look at his girlfriend. She was still, but looked thoroughly freaked out.

"Ino," he pushed his hair out of his face. "What's going on?"

"I don't know I…" Ino grabbed at her head. "I…I had a nightmare."

Sai sighed out heavily. "Is that all? Jesus, blondie. Come back to bed."

* * *

O.O.O.O

"It's an advanced medical jutsu. We need someone from our hospital team to lift it, but I'd trust that if she said he'll wake in a few hours… he will." Temari's voice was eerily calm as she leaned over Gaara's form, but Kankuro was careful not to make any sudden movements.

"I don't know if we should trust anything she's said anymore," Kankuro muttered under his breath. All of a sudden, he felt the air in the room get chillier. When he looked up again, Temari sat on the edge of the bed holding Gaara's limp hand in hers. Her back was rigid with tension.

"And where is she now?"

"She told me she was going to Mist." Kankuro watched his sister wearily.

"And you just let her!" She spun around on him suddenly, still holding on to Gaara. Kankuro wasn't sure if she was taking his pulse anymore or just clinging on for dear life.

"It was the best thing I could do for him!" Kankuro snapped back. "Hopefully he'll wake up, forget about her, and everything can just get back to fucking normal."

He said the words, but Temari could tell he didn't believe them. What was _normal_, anyway? Shaking with sheer distress, she thought of the pink haired kunoichi and how vacant and down she'd seemed over the past few days. Not to mention, drunk. She was ashamed of the way she'd let herself ignore it, even when someone as level-headed as Gaara clearly couldn't. Like her siblings and most other Sand ninja, she'd been raised to tough out the hard times and never let anyone see you sweat. Those were the tactics that kept you alive in times of war, but also the very things that closed you off to the ones you loved.

"Mist…" She scoffed to herself. Temari didn't want to be morbid, but it was clear that in her state, Sakura would never make it there alive.

"Have you told anyone? Tsunade? Anyone from Konoha?" She sounded desperate, but made sure to keep her voice low.

"Are you kidding me?" Kankuro threw his hands up and then pointed at Gaara's limp form. "I've barely had time to even process this shit!"

"She's a runaway now, Kankuro! A missing-nin. Don't you know what they'll do to her if they find her?" Temari shook her head to clear the thought. "Are you sure she—

"—I'm sure." Kankuro was firm.

"Then how could you let her go?" Temari released Gaara's wrist and knelt at the bed, pushing his hair back with her fingers. She ran her thumb along the scarred kanji on his forehead. "Don't you see she means something to him?"

"She didn't even care enough to stay and clean herself up." Kankuro watched her with a look of disgust. "That's on her, not me."

"You're not a cruel person, Kankuro. Why are you…?" Temari clenched Gaara's hand and was surprised to find tears on her cheeks. "Why would you…"

"Stop it, Temari," Kankuro snapped. He hated seeing a woman as strong as his sister cry. "You know more than anyone I want him to be happy." Kankuro sat on the bed opposite his sister. "I want him to live a simple, uncomplicated life."

"And this...this is what you call uncomplicated?!" Temari snapped. She'd been unable to temper her volume that time, and Kankuro flinched.

Just as he gestured for her to keep it down, Gaara's body stirred suddenly on the bed.

* * *

O.O.O.O

As soon as she saw his face, Sakura couldn't stop the tears from falling. Even after so long, the Uchiha's cold gaze and devilish smirk still left her breathless. And in the light of the moon his features looked softer – more understanding.

"What are you doing out here?" Sasuke pulled Sakura up from the sandy mud and held her to his chest. Sakura thought of pushing away, but the warmth of his arms was so rare and addicting. Instead, she pressed her head into the space under his chin and squeezed her eyes shut. She was lost in his familiar scent – pine needles and fire.

"Sasuke-kun…" Kunai still in hand, Sakura fisted his large cape. She hated the way her voice became so cloying and babylike with him.

"You shouldn't be all the way out here," Sasuke spoke over her head. "Were you out looking for me?"

When he pulled back to hold her at arm's length, Sakura noticed the dark smirk across his lips. Suddenly, Sakura could feel a silent rage burning inside her. She wanted to crack her fist across that silent, smirking mouth, but instead, tightened her grip on the kunai.

"You think my life revolves around you?" Sakura spoke softly, but with venom.

Sasuke was quiet a moment, staring at the grimy, livid face of the woman before him. A breeze tickled his neck and he couldn't help but notice the smell of alcohol in the air.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked again, firmer.

"I'm on my way to do a mission in Ishigakure," Sakura lied easily. "What are_ you_ doing?"

She wanted to turn it all around on him, to make him feel guilty and maybe even evoke an apology, but Sasuke Uchiha was no fool. His levels of pride would take him to the ends of the earth and back again.

"Heading home to you," he said, and Sakura knew instantly it was only to make her feel like shit. He had a history of that.

"How convenient." Without thinking, she wiped a smudge of mud from her cheek with the back of the hand that held her blade. It slashed a shallow path across her pale skin. Senses dulled by the alcohol still in her system, Sakura didn't flinch.

She watched his eyes widen, presumably with a mix of concern and disgust. It amused her now to see the way people seemed to struggle with disgust when just looking at her. Sakura knew she'd fallen far.

"You might as well keep moving," She pulled her body free of his arms completely. "My home isn't your home anymore."

Ignoring the blood on her face, she turned and started to walk again. Sasuke was quick to disappear and reappear back in her line of sight.

"You've lost your mind." He glared and grabbed her forearms. "What the fuck are you doing out here? It's the last time I'll ask."

"Before what?" Sakura fought back the urge to reel back and spit in his face. "Before you hit me? Before you piss off and leave me again? Or maybe before you hold me down and—

He shoved her hard in the chest and Sakura's back hit the dirt before she could even finish the sentence. Sasuke stood over her, clenching his fists, face-flushed red with anger and shame.

"I'm sor…" He stopped himself. "You always make me… I mean, Jesus – you can really hold a grudge."

"How could you expect anything less?" Sakura clenched the kunai in her fist. "You've never been capable of caring for anyone but yourself!"

Sasuke seemed unusually enraged by the remark. "And you're not capable of spending one day not wallowing in self-pity! Get over yourself!"

Sakura was shocked into silence. Sasuke had done many things to her over the years, but he rarely ever yelled. He was the kind of man who spoke just enough to let the cruel words settle, sear, and burn.

"Get over myself?" Sakura pushed up onto her knees. "You son of a bitch."

Sasuke turned his face away from Sakura completely. As if he couldn't even stand to have anything to do with her. "I think it's time you realized how eager you are to drag everyone down into your misery and mediocrity; it's stifling."

Sakura stood suddenly. "What?"

"_I'm saying_, it's hard to reach someone so stuck in their own self-loathing." Sasuke said the words and then shook his head, as if he wished he could take them back.

"I lost a _child_." Sakura's voice dissolved into a whisper, and suddenly the cut on her cheek began to throb.

"And so did I!" He fired back. "I've lost flesh and blood time and time again in my life, but you only have so fucking long to sit on it before it consumes you. Don't you get that?"

Sakura wanted to scoff, but the sound came out as a whimper. All Sasuke had ever done was sit on his grief. It was her belief that they'd be able to overcome that together.

"But I'm starting to think now losing it was the best thing that could have happened to us." Sasuke kept his gaze over her head as he spoke, but Sakura could see the pain there.

She wrung her hands. "How could you even say that?"

"How could you not think it?" Sasuke's dark eyes trained on her once more. "You were 21, you didn't know anything about raising a child…"

"I could have learned! You left after the war and you came back home to me!" Sakura's eyes began to well again. "And I was so happy, because you chose me. You told me you wanted me. You made love to me. You left me believing you wanted a life together."

"I did." Sasuke finally faced her head on again. "…I do."

"You do?" Sakura hugged herself, chuckling through the tears. "You couldn't even stick around when I needed you the most."

Sasuke closed his eyes and closed the distance between them again. The night was still warm, but Sakura felt her skin beginning to goosepimple. It was amazing what his closeness could still do to her. Suddenly, she remembered the good times when he was home long enough to hold her by the fire while sewed the patches in his cape. He had always been a distant man, but never cruel until their loss. It seemed it was something he'd had trouble dealing with, after all.

"Sasuke-kun…you…"

He took her by the chin.

"Look. We're older now. What I thought I wanted then isn't what I need now. We can start over." He tried to kiss her, the way he usually did when he wanted to silence her, but Sakura turned her head.

"What do you want from me?" He sighed into the open space between them. "Why do you always have to be so…."

Sakura clutched herself desperately. "I want to know… Did you ever love me at all?" She rasped.

"I loved who I thought you could be." Sasuke touched her shoulder, and then ran his fingertips over her exposed collarbones. He'd never felt her as harsh as he did then. He knew something larger had changed, and he wasn't sure it was just because of the child.

"A mother to my children," he continued. "A port in the storm. That's the kind of woman I need. I think it's a life you'd like."

Sakura grabbed at the cape wrapped around his broad shoulders. Despite being gone so long, he looked fit, tan, and healthy. For a moment, she imagined what she looked like next to him.

Thin. Dirty. Weak.

He'd gone on without her, and she'd barely been able to function.

"And what about what I need? What about the life I want?" She squeezed hard until the fabric slid down his arms and she fell into him, sobbing. "Why don't you ever think of that?"

Sasuke shifted his gaze to the side. "I realize I did a lot of things wrong with you. There were… missteps."

Sakura's eyes widened. There it was. The inklings of regret. She knew it was probably all she'd ever get and yet, it didn't feel nearly as freeing as she'd wanted it to be. Instead, Sakura felt the anger rising up in her yet again. He never seemed to see her as a person. Just a pawn.

"Well I did a lot of things right _after _you!" Sakura beat her fist into his chest. Even under all the rage, Sasuke was quick to catch the implication.

"_Excuse me_?"

"Let me tell you… it felt great," she smirked, hoping it hurt. Sakura half expected him to turn on her again, but instead Sasuke stared her down, silent. _But why would he care?_ She thought, bitterly.

In the back of her mind, she knew there had to be the possibility of other women. When he'd spent so much of his time roaming without her, a man like Sasuke Uchiha could have anyone he wanted.

"_He _was great," She tried again, tears still choking her voice.

"That's hard to believe," he said, smirking. "If you're so damn happy, why aren't you back home with your new fling in Konoha?"

Sakura's face burned red and she spoke without thinking. "Who said he's from Konoha?"

Sasuke looked confused for a moment, and Sakura bit her lip. _No_, she thought. _Stop it, you selfish idiot. Don't bring him into this._

Before Sasuke could demand an explanation from her, Sakura took another few steps back.

"I have to keep moving if I want to make it to a hotel before it gets too dark to see my hand in front of my face," she spluttered out.

Sasuke seemed like he might want to push forward with questioning, but at the same time, completely irritated. He never liked having to stand around in one place for very long.

"You look like a mess. Why don't you just go back and take a pit stop at Suna before heading out to Ishi? We're only about 50 miles out." He stared at her pointedly, daring her to keep the lie up. He had no idea what she was planning, but after all his years knowing Naruto, he could practically _smell_ the harebrained and stupid radiating off her.

"I…" Sakura struggled to come up with an excuse. Suddenly, she realized the kunai still in her hand and wondered if she could catch him off guard. Sakura knew she wasn't strong enough to take him down completely, but a few seconds distraction could be enough to break out in a run.

"Look. I know I'm flawed," He grabbed for her wrist again, and latched on just as she tried to bolt. "Your problem is that you think you're an angel."

"Is that so?" She suddenly remembered the smug look on Matsuri's face earlier that evening and the way she'd seemed so sure that Sasuke would 'deal with her.' Sakura was determined not to let that happen.

"Tsunade shouldn't allow you to go out on missions like this." He tightened his grip as she struggled and shot a dark look her way. As if he knew everything. "You should head back. Now."

Sakura used all her strength to wrench away. "That's not up to you."

They stood staring at one another for a long while, each daring the other to make the first move away from the quiet of the forest floor. Sasuke looked up to the darkening sky and sighed out.

He took off his cape, and held it out to her.

"Whatever. Take it," he demanded. "It's cold out there alone."

Sakura wanted to say she didn't need anything from him anymore, but when she didn't move, Sasuke got fed up and slipped the warm fabric over her shoulders himself. Suddenly, she couldn't find the words to tell him no.

"We'll meet again when you come back home," he said firmly, as if nothing had happened between them.

_'Home.'_ Sakura smiled sadly to herself. '_What home?'_

The moment he turned his back on her again, she spoke.

"You know…" Sakura clutched the thick cape closed over her chest and thought of how Gaara had been so desperate to save her from things he didn't even completely understand. "I don't know why I expected you to do more to stop me."

Sasuke stared out at the break in the trees and the horizon ahead. He could see the wind blowing grains of sand in a small dust storm. Small, insignificant things thrown into turmoil by something so trivial. Small, insignificant things that built up into ache and pains.

"Stop you from what?" He furrowed his brow.

Sakura smiled to herself and wiped the wetness from her cheeks. "Nothing."

"Sakura—

Sasuke started, but when he turned around there was nothing at all.

O.O.O.O

* * *

**AN:** A relatively "boring" chapter, but hey – Sasuke! Even though he's definitely not my favourite character by a long shot, I'm trying not to make him really 2-dimensional. Without saying too much, basically, this isn't the last you'll hear from him or his interactions with Sakura. And soon, Gaara will get his own wonderful confrontation, lol. Mmm, drama.


	11. Woke

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 11: Woke

A/N: Back! I should totally be writing my dissertation right now, but nahhhh. Instead, a double chapter update!

* * *

He could feel her next to him. A field of daisies, the Suna sun shining so bright. Her pink hair was loose and longer than he remembered, but hung sweetly over his face as she leaned into him.

"Hey sleepyhead." Sakura folded her arms against Gaara's chest and let her chin rest on top.

"I was asleep?" Gaara's mouth was dry, and the question was just a whisper.

"You've been asleep for a long time." Sakura stroked the side of his face. He couldn't help but notice her fingertips felt like silk.

"I've gotten myself into a bit of trouble while you were out."

"What?" A slow smile stretched over Gaara's lips. Her green eyes sparkled in the light, and though his arms felt heavy, all he wanted to do was pull her down into him.

"You have to wake up." She touched her nose to his, more playful than he'd ever seen her. "I'm in trouble, Gaara, so you need to wake up."

"What are you talking about? You're right here." Gaara leaned forward to catch her by the wrist "I'm awake."

"I'm not here." Sakura pulled away and all of a sudden she was standing far across the field, her face tilted up at the sky. But her lips still wore that same, strange smile. "I'm in trouble. So get up. Get up and find me!"

"Sakura?" Gaara felt a sense of panic wash over him. He tried to call for his sand to catch her, but there was nothing there. Moment by moment, Sakura's form began to fade from his sight.

"Don't!" Gaara woke with a start, jerking Temari off the bed. He blinked against the harsh daylight to clear his vision and all of a sudden the field and its gentle warmth was gone. He was in the spare room again, and surrounded by a tense, cold air.

"Gaara?" Temari scrambled up and threw her arms around his neck. "Thank God!" Gaara's body had been moving and twitching next to her all night, giving she and Kankuro both false hope. To see his eyes blink open – a wave of relief shot through her all at once.

"What's going on?" Gaara was immediately alarmed at the unfamiliar feeling of his heart hammering in his chest. "What are you doing? Where's…"

He hushed himself, realizing Kankuro was standing nearby, looking deeply troubled. Gaara's mind raced with images of flowing pink hair and sparkling green eyes, but none of it seemed quite real. He remembered pieces – Sakura hysteric and crying and the blood on the floor, but all of it seemed like it happened ages ago.

"She left." Temari placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Last night she knocked you out and told Kankuro she was headed for Mist."

At this, Gaara wanted to sit up completely, but felt his body sinking back down into the mattress. It was as though he'd been given a truckload of muscle relaxants, and his head still swam with disconnected thoughts. A disturbing, but familiar feeling.

The first time after Sakura had put him to sleep in the hospital Gaara woke refreshed, but unable to get his bearings until the fog wore off. It was the same, except back then, he woke to see Sakura sitting at his bedside. She'd stayed by his side through the process.

'_Where is she now?'_

"Are you okay?" Kankuro finally interjected. "Did she…I mean…"

"Mist?" Gaara tried to look as calm as usual, but it was hard when his siblings were hovering over him. "She told you this?"

Kankuro shifted his gaze to the far wall. "She seemed to think it was for the best."

Inside, Gaara fumed. Kankuro's evasive body language told him everything he needed to know. She'd left, and clearly his brother had done nothing to stop it. He could tell it was already approaching midday, and that mean Sakura had already been missing for at least 12 hours. Despite her strength and training, in her current state, she was clearly a vulnerable target.

Gaara grit his teeth and for a moment it was almost as if Shukaku was back with him. The rage and uncontrollable emotion building inside him was intense.

He clutched at his head.

"Gaara!" Temari sprang to his side. "Are you really okay? Should we bring in a medic?"

"My meetings," he blurted. "My schedule… Where does everyone think I am right now?"

Temari was alarmed to hear her brother take on such a businesslike tone, but Kankuro seemed relieved.

"We had Matsuri shift everything. We said you had a sudden diplomatic issue to attend to. But we can get everything back on your roster if—

"No." Gaara gave him a dark look. "That's perfect. What we need to be doing now is focusing on Sakura. We need to bring her home unharmed."

Temari sighed in relief, but from the corner of her eye she spied Kankuro clenching his fists. She could tell he was having none of it, but couldn't quite understand why he was so adamant.

"This isn't her home!" He blurted out. "I'm telling you right now we need to wash our hands of this and let Konoha deal with it!"

Gaara used his sand to push off the bed, but stumbled a little into Temari. She steadied him with one hand.

"That's not our ninja way," he snapped. "Konoha is an ally to us, and Sakura is an irreplaceable asset—

"Oh please," Kankuro scoffed to himself, but loud enough to earn another dangerous look from his little brother.

"Do you have an issue with something?" Gaara tried hard to keep the snarl out of his voice.

"Look." Kankuro paused, as if trying to choose his words carefully. "I realize you're not as experienced as most guys your age, but just because she gave you some pussy—

Before Gaara could react with his sand, Temari let go of Gaara and swung her fan – hard. The lacquered wood edge struck him square in the jaw. Kankuro was totally caught off guard and fell back into the cabinet with a crash.

Temari didn't even open her mouth to snap at him, but the darkness in her gaze said everything. Kankuro swiped a trickle of blood from his lower lip and looked down at the floor. Although the anger was still there, she could tell he was stunned.

The clamour gave Gaara a moment to wipe the look of pure fury off his face before he turned on his brother again.

"I'm giving the order today." He braced himself against the wall. "Our best ninja on a high priority search for Haruno Sakura. Spare no expense."

"Gaara…" Temari was tentative. "I want to find her just as badly as you do, but don't you think we should leave the heavy search to Konoha? We're still pretty lacking after the war."

Gaara paused for a long while and drew in a deep breath. He knew he needed to act rationally, but the thought of Sakura on her own in her current state…

He nodded. "Of course. I'll contact Tsunade as soon as possible."

* * *

She could feel heat on her skin – warm and comforting. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell it wasn't the stifling burn of Suna's sun, but something cooler and more relaxed.

_'Ishi?'_

Sakura groaned. Her body felt stiff and she couldn't remember falling asleep. The last thing on her mind was running as fast as she could and then…nothing. She knew she must have passed out from exhaustion.

However, as soon as she pushed herself up into a sitting position, Sakura's arms were yanked violently up behind her back. Within seconds her entire body was flung up into the air, and she found her legs, instead of swinging freely, were bound together with thick, brown rope.

"What the—

"Identify yourself!" A high-pithced voice called down from below. When Sakura dropped her gaze, she saw a girl with close cropped blonde hair and a set of kunai in both hands. _Her _kunai.

_Shit._

Sakura's face burned red with anger and shame at being caught up so easily. It wasn't like her to be so sloppy, and now she was in the kind of situation that Kakashi or Tsunade would have lectured her about a thousand times over.

"My name is Yumi!" Sakura lied quickly. "I'm just passing through!"

While she fumed, she managed to work one hand out of the sloppy rope bindings.

"Who sent you?" The girl, a mere pre-teen, screwed up her face in anger.

"No one!" Sakura hollered back. _'You little shit.'_

She had expected being questioned at the border of rock country, but even though she was far away from Suna now, Sakura could tell she was still deep in the forest and likely far off track.

"Come on, Masami, give it a rest. Can't you see she's just a drunk?" A huskier voice sounded off.

"Hey!" After running all night covered in bruises and alcohol Sakura knew she looked less like a proud ninja and more like a vagrant, but damn it if the words didn't sting.

She snapped her head to the side where, another female—taller, curvier— came into view. Her hair was dark black, but was also buzzed short, save for a bit of fringe in the front. Neither of them wore visible village forehead protectors, but Sakura found herself more concerned with the three miniature bottles of gin the young woman was holding. Sakura had stashed them away in the bottom of a pair of shoes days ago and had somehow forgotten about them.

"You went through my things!" She fumed, but the blonde just rolled her eyes.

"Cut her down, Masami." She gestured to the shorter girl, but before she had the chance, Sakura freed her hand completely and formed a sign. In a puff of smoke, she was down on the ground again and behind the younger girl's back.

'_Wrong move.'_

"Fuwako!" She cried, but Sakura silenced her with a firm strike to the back of the neck. Masami's eyes rolled back and she fell forward into the dirt.

"So you're not just a dirty tramp after all." The woman named Fuwako shook her bangs from her eyes with a smirk. Sakura had expected her to run for the younger girl, and was startled at how unaffected she seemed.

"And here I thought you must have stolen this from someone." Fuwako reached behind her back and tossed Sakura's leaf forehead protector into the dirt.

'_When did she…'_ Sakura shook her head. There was no time for that.

"I said I'm just passing through. Give me my things and let me go." Though weak from her ordeal, Sakura stood up as tall as she could. Half of any battle was mental, and she only hoped the kunoichi before her would back down at the sudden show of strength.

"And how do I know that?" Fuwako advanced on her slowly. "How do I know you're not going to talk?"

"Talk?" Sakura looked bewildered until she glanced around. She was deeper in the woods than she'd thought, and surrounded by makeshift stone housing. In her tired stupor, she'd somehow stumbled into what looked like a campsite.

Suddenly, it dawned on her. The reason neither of the two seemed to be wearing forehead protectors and seemed so on edge.

"You're running from someone?" Sakura struggled to keep upright. All of a sudden her body seemed to catch up with her. Her throat burned for water, and her stomach for food. "You're missing-nin."

As soon as she made the realization, Fuwako charged and Sakura's vision went blank.

It felt like ages until she'd woken up again, this time, with her hands and legs free. Sakura blinked slowly and found herself staring up into a pair of blue-green eyes.

"Gaara?" She rasped, but there was no response.

Instead, she heard a harsh whisper behind her.

"Gaara? The Kazekage of Suna. I told you we should have just—

"—Enough!"

The blue green eyes narrowed as Sakura felt the haze in her head begin to clear. Suddenly, it all came back to her. The cagey girls from the forest – missing-nins. Her vision sharpened and she could tell she was indoors somewhere – barely. A stone cave or something, with a woman leaning over her. Like the other two she had encountered, she too had close cropped hair. Regardless, her features were fine and stunning. She looked the age Tsunade passed herself off as – maybe a bit younger.

"I don't mean you any harm," Sakura managed to squeak out. "I'm…like you. I'm running too."

The beautiful woman said nothing at first, and passed her a glass of water. Without thinking, Sakura pushed up and began to gulp it down. It felt like heaven on her parched throat. Around her, she heard the tittering of laughter, and as her eyes adjusted, saw Fuwako and Masami.

"Sakura Haruno. Age 22, from Konohakagure," The beauty spoke as she filled her glass again from a burlap water pouch.

Sakura furrowed her brow, thinking of the fake name she'd initially gave them. Although the forehead protector in her bag was a dead giveaway of her village, she never carried anything marked with her name on it.

"How did you—

"—and why would you be running from an idyllic place like that?"

"Does it matter?" Sakura suddenly felt highly defensive. What if these women weren't really missing-nin, she thought. What if they were a trap to bring her back home?

Suddenly, the three women raised their hands and a soft, yellow chakra filled the room. Sakura instantly wanted to protect herself, but couldn't move her arms or legs. Suddenly, she felt as though she was a patient strapped down to a table, and they took the chance to scan their hands quickly over her body.

"Might it have anything to do with the child you miscarried six months ago?" The leader spoke calmly, waving her glowing hands up and down Sakura's body.

"Maybe it's all the booze in her bloodstream," Fuwako interjected, smirking.

"No, it's gotta be how she's got the Kazekage's scent all over her!" Little Masami smiled, clearly unaware of the implication.

"Stop that!" Sakura pushed away in anger. "How did you…What are you…"

"I'm Ami. Fuwako Masami, and I have medical talents, like you, along with high chakra affinities," The beauty spoke again. "The ability to sense microchanges in the body and spirit that reveal our opponents weaknesses. Honed over time, they can also tell us about the interaction we have with various individuals. Similar to those with bloodlines that tell us things like thoughts and feelings before we even think or feel them."

"Telepathy." Sakura suddenly thought of Ino. The blonde always took mindreading and emotional signals to the extreme. Sakura studied the women before her carefully.

"I'm not here to cause any disturbance." She was firm. "I really am just passing through. I won't say anything about any of you."

Ami smiled to herself and all of a sudden Sakura was struck with a splitting headache. It was as if her skull was heating up and trying to boil her brain.

"You!" Sakura tried to lash out, but her hands remained immobile – as if glued to her side with cement.

"We came from a small village of corrupt men," Ami said simply. "Men who would rape and beat and torture their women, just because they could. Just because they liked the element of control. I'm sure some of that must have rubbed off on us."

Sakura grit her teeth to fight the pain. She wanted to believe that at full strength she would have been able to break the chakra bind and fight back, but her body was just too deprived.

"But those men underestimated us. Our innate abilities and the way we trained behind their backs." Ami narrowed her eyes and Sakura suddenly felt herself fading.

"We killed them, and we'll kill you. There's nothing we'll let destroy us. And while it would be a shame to snuff you and your little one, as you're only a few days along, the three of us have no time for weakness. Especially in another female."

"Little one?" Sakura mouthed the words.

"Her skills must not yet be adept enough to sense the changes," Fuwako chuckled behind them. "And what is she now, a jounin? Must be. Pathetic."

Sakura's mind began to race. The pain had become unbearable, and now thoughts of Gaara flooded her conscious. They hadn't been careful together – she knew that. What Ami said could easily be true. But still…

Her heart dropped as she remembered the night months ago. How she'd fought the pain and staggered to Tsunade's office alone in the dark. The way the blood stained her sheets.

'_I won't let it die. I won't let another one die.'_

"GET OFF ME!" Sakura roared. The rhombus seal on her forehead glowed, and she channeled the excess chakra into her fists. Sakura originally hesitated to drain herself completely, but the situation was dire and Ami really did seem intent to kill her.

In one smooth movement, Sakura broke the chakra binds and slammed a fist into the older woman's gut. Usually the release felt cathartic, but Ami gripped her wrist and there was a shocking rebound, sending Sakura skidding backwards across the hut. At the same time, Ami was punched back through the stone wall. The beauty tumbled a good distance away in the dirt before Fuwako and Minami, shocked, ran to her side.

"Ami!"

Sakura pushed up from the dirt floor and staggered to the hole she made in the wall. She expected to see Ami bleeding and broken, but instead the young woman was merely a bit bruised. Her own hands glowed with pink chakra she'd now doubt extracted from the blow.

"Nice one." She coughed a bit of blood into the dirt. "If I hadn't absorbed some of your chakra, I would have been done for."

"So you can absorb and replicate attacks." Sakura panted, but then raised her fist again. She was done giving up easily. "We'll see how long you can keep that up."

Fuwako started to spring into action, but Ami held her back from her place in the dirt.

"No," she smirked. "I know an asset when I see one."

"Then for now let's call it a stalemate," Sakura staggered and wiped the sweat from her brow. "You know now I'm someone to be reckoned with. Not someone you can just throw away. Let's team up."

There was a silence, and for a moment, even Sakura questioned her sanity. Running away was one thing. Konoha would likely, but if she teamed up with other missing ninja who were wanted as criminals, no matter what they claimed their story was…

There was no way Suna or Konoha would bring her back alive.

But does it matter? Sakura thought of Sasuke, who spent his life wandering between long missions and her bed. He too was only looking for a form of escape. Sakura was sick of feeling a sense of duty to stay in one place, and losing her child had showed her just how fleeting life could be. There was no time for regrets.

"We're all strong women," Sakura pushed. "We can lean on each other and travel together."

"Yeah! With her crazy strength we'd crush anyone who tries to take us in!" Minami jumped in, excited.

Ami wiped the blood from her mouth with a thoughtful smile. "Are you ready to do that? To kill the hunter-nin who attack? To fight against people from Konoha or Suna who come looking for you?"

Sakura swallowed hard, thinking of sand and red hair. "I've already deserted everyone and everything. I can't go back. All I can do is protect this new life."

"Good woman," Fuwako stalked over to Sakura's side and slapped her hard on the back. Depleted, the pinkette nearly tumbled over.

"Now...we just need to do something about that stupid hair of yours," she snorted. "It's practically a fucking beacon."

"What?!"


	12. Drying Out

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 12: Drying Out

AN: Ahhhh... so I'm struggling with this part of the story because although I know where I want things to end up, writing the middle bits is always the hardest. Due to the amount of time that's passing so quickly, it's hard to balance the time skips with what I should actually let play out. Still unsureeee.

* * *

It didn't take long for the news to travel. Gaara planned to take meetings and go back to work as usual, but as soon as he sent a message with a specialized sand pigeon to Konoha, it only took two days before Tsunade arrived in his office, a raging Ino in tow.

"Missing? What do you mean she's missing?! Fuck I knew something wasn't right!" Ino slammed her fist on Gaara's desk. The redhead could see she was frantic, moreso than the Hokage, who seemed deep in thought.

"Ino," she cut her eyes at the platinum blonde. "I allowed you to come along out of common courtesy. If you can't control yourself…"

"Y-yes Tsunade-sama." Ino clenched her fists.

As calmly as he could, Gaara gestured for them both to take a seat.

"I was aware that Sakura was here on vacation, but as time went on it grew obvious that she was…" he struggled to choose his words carefully. "She seemed to be dealing with some serious issues. Temari and Kankuro thought it best to entertain her, but clearly it wasn't enough. Two days ago she took off for hidden Mist. I've already sent out a few of our best to search for her in the surrounding area."

Tsunade pressed her fingers to her temples and sighed. "She's had a traumatic past few months."

"I know," Gaara blurted without thinking, and both women looked at him skeptically.

"You do?" Tsunade's lips quirked into a nervous smirk.

Gaara sighed out. It wasn't the time to keep secrets or be deceptive. If they were going to find Sakura, everything needed to be out on the table.

"Her relationship with Uchiha. Her miscarriage and the alcohol abuse."

"What?!" Ino could no longer stifle herself. "That's not true! She was never – she never said…"

Ino looked to Tsunade for help, but the older woman simply nodded.

"It's true. She wanted it kept private for obvious reasons, but it's clear she hadn't dealt with it well, to say the least."

"How could she…" Ino glared at the floor, but Gaara saw the tears in her eyes. "I thought we were friends! How could that stupid cow tell you and not me!?"

"I'll admit now…" Gaara ran a hand through his hair. "I was unprofessional with her while she was here. We became close and I think it blinded me to how serious the situation had become."

"You and Sakura?" Tsunade joined Ino in looking stunned. Gaara said nothing.

"It must have been serious…" Ino clenched and unclenched her fists. "For her to think of anyone but Sasuke. It must have meant something."

Gaara couldn't fight the nervous blush that worked its way into his cheeks.

"It's just as important to me as I'm sure it is to you that we find her," he spoke seriously. "I may have my hands tied with the council initially, but I'll allocate the funds and the people to help with any search efforts."

"We appreciate it, of course." Tsunade folded her hands on the desk. "Everyone in Konoha will be on high alert, and we'll send out a task force of our own. Although the Mizukage is trying to restructure the image of Mist, it's still quite a perilous place for ninja alone."

"That idiot…" Tears began to run down Ino's cheeks. "Why would ever think she couldn't come to us?"

"It's a fault of us all, sometimes." Tsunade reassured her, but found herself looking into Gaara's eyes as she spoke. "This pressure to keep up appearances."

As soon as the two left and the door shut behind them, Gaara shot his sand across the desk and smashed his favorite hourglass. The last two days, he had been filled with a sadness that was slowly building into anger. Who did she think she was – blowing into his life, screwing with his emotions, and then taking off?

For two days he'd had to deal with feelings of worry and betrayal all because she wouldn't let him help. Gaara was good at fixing things – he loved plans and order, and he was sure if she had just stayed… everything would have been perfect.

"Gaara?" The door to his office pushed open suddenly and Temari looked startled to see the mess of sand on the floor. "Is everything…."

She stopped herself. Of course everything wasn't alright.

"Don't worry," her voice was firm. "We'll bring her back safely."

Gaara wanted to give a dark rebuttal, but all of a sudden the door was flung open again and they were both startled to see a disgruntled Sasuke Uchiha coming up fast. Kankuro scrambled to push in first.

"Sorry Gaara, I tried to stop him!"

"No, it's f—

Gaara put up a hand, but before he could finish his sentence a fist slammed hard into his jaw. Though his sand armor sprang up as a shield, Sasuke's firm strike was shot through and cracked the thin layer of sand covering his skin. All of a sudden it felt like he was a chuunin again.

Temari and Kankuro, horrified, jumped and grabbed Sasuke's arms to restrain him.

"You bastard!" Temari cried out, but Gaara was too stunned to say anything at first.

"I should have known," The Uchiha snapped, wrenching out of their hold. "All her crazy muttering about some fling in another country and all this time it was you? You who couldn't even keep a damn drunk from wandering off the middle of the night!"

Gaara had expected the next to confront him would be Naruto, but the blonde was still on the tail end of his mission and it was likely the news of Sakura's disappearance hadn't yet reached. Sasuke, of course, once reaching Konoha, was the next likely.

"I'd urge you to restrain yourself." Gaara wiped the bit of blood from his lip coolly, but couldn't get his mind off what the Uchiha had just said.

'_All her muttering about some fling in another country…'_

"Wait a minute – you spoke to her recently?" He sprung forward and grabbed Sasuke by the shirt collar.

"Two nights ago, 50 miles out from Suna." Sasuke shoved him back. "She told me she was on a mission to Ishigakure, but she looked like a wreck."

"And you didn't stop her?" Gaara growled.

"Why would I stop her?" Sasuke bit back, but Gaara saw the flash of guilt in his eyes. "She's a fucking grown woman who said she was on a mission. You were the one who saw her. You and your dimwitted siblings! Why would I…"

Gaara suddenly couldn't control his temper. Anyone with any sense of decency would have at least tried to convince her to travel together with them. Or pushed and asked more questions.

"Yes, right! Why would you do a fucking thing for her?!" He spat, shocking Kankuro and Temari into dead silence. "You never have and you never will!"

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction, and then he smirked. "Don't pretend you know anything about the situation just because she was weak enough to suck your dick."

Gaara blocked out the vulgarity enough to turn on Sasuke completely. "I know everything about the situation," he hissed. "About how you treated her when she lost the thing that mattered most."

A tense silence settled over the room. Temari and Kankuro backed into a corner, unsure of what action to take. Sasuke's face flushed red.

"You're both the same! You pin things on other people because you're so fucking inadequate!"

Gaara's sand, picking up on the tension, began to stream from his gourd and cover the area around Sasuke's feet.

"The only inadequate one here is you. All she needed you to do was stick around!"

"Inadequate and weak! The Uchiha ranted on. "You don't see me crying because…because of…." He faltered, and Gaara was taken aback. Not by the rage, but by the pain evident in his husky tone. When he looked hard at Sasuke, it was obvious he was holding back tears.

"She tried to give you everything…" Gaara growled low, but seeing one of the strongest shinobi he knew about to break, found his words had lost their bite.

"I know." Sasuke swiped quickly at his face. "Don't you think I fucking know?"

"Gaara…" Temari started, unsure.

"It's fine," The redhead put up a hand. "You can both leave us."

When the door closed again and the silence settled, Gaara slumped against his desk. The sand retreated into his gourd. Before him, Sasuke clenched and unclenched his fists, averting his eyes to conceal the moisture there.

"The two of you…" He finally looked at Gaara seriously. "How far did it get? Tell me honestly."

"Is that truly the kind of conversation you want to entertain right now?" Gaara scolded. "What we need to be discussing is an all-out hunt."

* * *

It had been three weeks since then, and it seemed that from the outset everyone was looking to vent and for someone to blame. Startlingly, however, Naruto was one of the few who seemed understand Gaara's position. As soon as he returned from his mission he made a beeline for Suna and wanted to do nothing but get to the bottom of things.

'_Even before the night at the party I knew something was wrong. I just didn't know how to deal with it. It's my fault…'_

Gaara remembered the pain in the blonde's voice, and wondered how Sakura could have possibly been so blind to the love she had around her.

A specially devised Konoha ANBU unit was sent to hunt for the pink haired ninja over hidden Mist and in rock country. Gaara had wanted to flesh it out with ANBU from Suna, but the council had been strict with him about limiting involvement.

'_We feel for this loss, but we don't want Konoha or any other countries to start thinking we're apologizing for something,'_ They'd said._ 'Sakura Haruno is not one of our people. She was passing through with the intent to desert her country. That's something we didn't know beforehand, and something we don't want to be tied to. We musn't get too involved.'_

Gaara understood it, but he hated it. He would risk his life a thousand times over to save Sakura's, but he couldn't in good conscious put the lives of innocent civilians at risk. So after three weeks of hearing nothing, that was exactly what he planned to do. After splitting up his workload between Temari and Kankuro, he'd devoted his night to packing for a mission with Naruto and Sasuke Uchiha, of all people. The once wayward shinobi had managed to tone down his anger over the past week enough to agree upon devoting as much time and energy into the search as possible.

"So you're really going to leave your post to run after her?" Kankuro stood in his little brother's doorway with his arms folded tight across his chest. His face was clear of paint, and his hair damp and slicked back from a shower.

Of all the people Gaara was close to, his own brother seemed the most blasé about Sakura's disappearance.

"We all went running to help Sasuke, why not her?" He muttered. "If I claim to care about her at all, I need to be willing to do this at the very least."

"I just think you need to consider the possibility that she's not as naïve and weak as you think." Kankuro took a seat on the sill as Gaara began folding a scarf to put in his pack.

"She didn't plan this, if that's what you're insinuating."

"Maybe not the way it went down, but she came here to escape. She was confused and thought she could make a run for it. It isn't wrong to want to help her, but I think the best thing you could do is keep your distance. What if she gets into something crazy? We all know that emotionally weak shinobi are easily turned against their home country."

"She wouldn't," Gaara snapped. "Haruno Sakura has always remained loyal."

"To who?" Kankuro pressed, but sighed out when Gaara shot him a glare. "I'm just saying, Gaara. What if they can't bring her home alive?"

* * *

Gaara shut his eyes tight, trying not to think of the possibility, but the longer she was missing, the more likely it seemed.

"So what's he like? The Kazekage…" Fuwako tried to sound casual as she asked the once pink haired shinobi.

Given that a camouflaging jutsu would have taken up too much energy, Ami made Sakura a dye with a combination of forest plants and berries. It only lasted about a week at a time, but Sakura cut her hair short like the rest of the women to cut down on effort. Now she blended in perfectly with the trio.

"What's this all of a sudden?" Sakura smirked as she broke up a large boulder with her fist. The four women had made it a habit to move camp regularly throughout the forests of Ishi, and that meant breaking down and building up new stone hideouts.

"Well, it's been weeks now and despite _what we could do for you_, you seem to want to keep the kid. Obviously he must mean something to you." Fuwako began to load small pieces of rock into a sack on her back.

"You don't have to love the father to want to keep the child," Sakura shot back, though the situation was more true of her relationship with Sasuke than Gaara.

"No in-fighting!" Ami warned from the stream nearby. She was filtering water for lunch.

Sakura was still surprised at how simple their lives seemed. Ever since she joined up with the three, she'd expected to face hunter-nin and danger at every turn. As it turned out, Sakura had ran towards one of the most deserted areas of rock country, and the trio had been smart in moving slowly throughout the region, using genjutsu often to hide their trails when they thought anyone was getting close. They'd gone three weeks without even a hint of suspicious activity.

"Gaara is a good man," Sakura finally said, but then shut her mouth completely. Talking about him – hell, thinking about him, still made her heart sink. She hadn't had anything alcoholic to drink in what felt like ages, but suddenly the urge to drown her sorrows was coming back full force.

"But he wasn't the father of your first child." Ami spoke up this time. "I noticed a different feeling there."

Sakura felt herself fuming inside at the continued digs into her private life, but she knew she couldn't disrupt her relationship with the other women. After all, they'd taken her in – fed her, clothed her, protected her.

"You're practically seething," Ami smiled her usual gentle smile. "I'm pushing you because it's not good to keep these things inside. The more a woman internalizes her grief, the more vulnerable she becomes. It's best to wear things like pain and hate on your sleeve."

"Is that so?" Sakura frowned to herself.

"Of course. Minami!" Ami called toward the young girl floating and stacking up stones with her minds.

She perked up and looked toward Sakura. "Ami's right. The man called my father used to come into my bedroom every night and rape me," She said casually, as if talking about the weather. "So one night after talking with Fuwa and Ami, I took a kunai from his bag, and slit his throat."

"He used to come and do me too," Fuwako added, as if not to be outdone. "And my father, a weak man, did nothing about it. He'd actually take money in exchange to feed his gambling habits."

"Where was your mother?" Sakura blurted, horrified.

"She's dead now, because she couldn't stand up for me." Fuwako smiled brightly. "That night, I murdered them all. Every last weakling. Although it's not unusual for men not to be trustworthy, a treacherous woman is even worse, I'd say."

Sakura looked to Ami in shock, but the older woman just gave a gentle shrug.

"We were the only survivors because we made ourselves survivors.

"The father of my first child was Sasuke Uchiha," she tried her hardest to keep emotion out of her voice.

"I remember hearing of him," Ami nodded. "Must have been difficult, living with a man so hard hearted."

"He wasn't!" Sakura was surprised to find herself defending the Uchiha, but after hearing such stories of pain and horror, she realized her own experiences had been much different. Things with Sasuke really had been okay in the beginning. Maybe not the idealized dream state she'd been imagining as a child, but he seemed to want to protect her.

"I mean…" she closed her eyes. "I think he wanted an escape as much as I did. That was the baby. When we lost it, neither of us knew how to deal. He walked away and I…I just bottled it up."

'_Maybe if I'd just been more open…'_

"It's not enough for a man to offer protection," Ami said, reading her mind. "He needs to offer his soul, and you to him."

"You seem to know a lot about it for someone who hates men," Sakura snapped.

Ami chuckled. "I don't hate men."

Fuwako and Masami also looked up and nodded in agreement.

"I had a man once," Ami continued. "I loved him. It was a true, pure love that started when he observed my inner strength. He was from Kawa, travelling in on a mission. He would come and see me often. For months. But my father didn't approve, so he had me married off to a man who tried to break my spirit. So I broke him. Crushed him into blood and bone and dust."

Sakura stared, mouth agape.

"There are good men, and there are evil men." Ami shrugged her shoulders again and began pouring water into a pot they'd rigged over a low fire. "I have no patience for evil."

Sakura felt a shiver run through her. Part of her didn't blame the women for their crimes, but at the same time, there was something incredibly lethal inside them all that scared her. Would she, too, become like that in time?

She thought of Gaara, and the way he'd always wanted to listen to the things she had to say. His promise to protect was never a hollow one. She traced a hand over her flat tummy, feeling pained.

'_Did I really make the right choice?'_


	13. Stages

**Title:** Lady in Waiting

**Chapter 13:** Stages

**AN:** such a long time coming! Forgive me, guys! I really appreciate your support - can't believe I'm over 100 reviews now! So nice! 3

* * *

**3:57 PM, Konhagakure Tower**

**Days missing: 137**

Gaara wasn't sure if it was just the cold of Konoha winter chilling him, but was certain he felt older. Ever since Sakura had left them, it was like he had aged a hundred years. His body felt stiff and for the first time in a long time, he was tired. Back in his office in Suna there was a spot by the window he always loved. It was where he kept his favorite cacti, and if you stood just right when the sun rose, it would warm you perfectly – through and through. He'd stood there every morning for 137 days, but all he felt was cold.

"So you're really giving up?" Gaara's voice was unusually low. "I don't recall the lack of energy when it came to Sasuke's disappearance."

In the Konoha Kage tower, Tsunade barely looked at him, and next to her, Kakashi only sighed. Over the past four and a half months the blonde had stepped down and Kakashi had formally taken her place as Hokage. They were clearly still going through the handoff process, but Gaara and Naruto had been determined not to let Sakura slip through the cracks.

Four and a half months of sleepless nights. Of small leads and then silence, of hopes built up and then crushed. Ultimately it all boiled down to nothing in terms of progress. Even after taking two weeks away from his post to hunt in Ishi and Iwa with Naruto and Sasuke, Gaara had turned up nothing of value. It seemed so strange that she could disappear into thin air. Gaara did his best to remain resolved during the day, but when he was alone, Gaara spent his nights fearing the worst.

When he did sleep, he dreamt of her – cut open, bleeding, mutilated. The horrors were lasting, and affected his work in the worst ways. Once a stickler for schedules and deadlines, he found himself missing meetings and falling behind on the calendar just to analyze any meaningless lead.

"It was a different circumstance entirely," Tsunade spoke first. "At that time, it was the beginning of a severe crisis. He was potentially involved in treason and proved a danger to Konoha. We have no reason to believe that was Sakura's intent. She's just…disappeared."

"You can't really believe it's as simple as that." Naruto finally spoke up. He was fighting, but Gaara could hear the resignation even in his tone. Things had changed, and lately even the blonde had stopped giving his usual impassioned speeches on bringing Sakura home. It had suddenly all become about waiting and hoping and whether or not she was really in any trouble at all.

"Look…" Kakashi rubbed the bridge of his nose over his mask. "We care about Sakura a great deal, but we need to be realistic about the amount of time and energy we can truly devote to this search. For almost 5 months we've had people from both Suna and Konoha doing daily combs in both Ishi and Mist. Nothing has come up. We both know Suna can't afford his kind of thing any longer." He eyed Gaara seriously, and the redhead lowered his gaze.

"Can't Konoha?" Naruto shoved his hands into his pockets. "And if not, then what about us? Can't we keep searching on our own?"

"Naruto, you and Sasuke are free to devote time after your scheduled missions for Konoha, but we can't stand behind it. You're two of our most valued ninja, and we have other things we need to attend to. At this point in time, we have no reason to believe Sakura is in any danger. We're doing her a favor treating this more as a voluntary leave of absence and not a case of desertion."

"I can't believe this…" Gaara muttered under his breath. "So… what? She should be grateful you won't hunt her down and kill her? You didn't see the way she left. She was in a vulnerable state—

"—we appreciate that. Truly." Tsunade put up a hand for silence. "But this is the last we'll say on the matter from Konoha's end. Sakura Haruno is just not high priority anymore."

"So where do we go from here?" Naruto poked lazily at his ramen from Ichiraku. He and Gaara had taken their anger to the restaurant shortly after the meeting with Tsunade and Kakashi. But no matter how many bowls Naruto slurped down, he couldn't help but think that one of the last times he'd spoken to Sakura was in that very restaurant. She'd been broken then, and he wondered if she still was.

Beside them, Sasuke gave a slight shrug. Although he'd agreed to meet them both for lunch, Naruto and Gaara were keenly aware of how distinctly less involved he'd been in Sakura's search over the past few weeks. Rumor had it he'd began to see Karin more and more since her release from confinement. Gaara didn't mind it on principal, but it irked him the way it seemed some people were able to move on so quickly from the girl's disappearance. Meanwhile, Gaara still continued to organize teams in secret to comb the forests of Suna and Ishi and her parents dutifully held vigils at home.

At first it seemed like a noble effort, but it made him feel pathetic to keep pouring energy into something everyone else seemed to think was a lost cause.

"The more I think about the way she left that night, the more I feel she was right." Sasuke sipped idly at a glass of warm sake. "I had the chance to wander for a while, why shouldn't she? We don't actually know that she's in any danger."

"And that's really good enough for you?" Gaara could barely hold back his disgust.

Both of the other men stayed silent, and it was enough of a response for him to get the hint.

"I have to head back to Suna tomorrow," he sighed. "The council has been looking down on all the time I've spent away from the country recently."

"It's the right thing to do." Naruto took a bite of fishcake. "You've done the best you could. It seems like we all have."

"What does that even mean?" Gaara frowned, white knuckling his own glass of sake. He'd ordered it just to have something to hold, but suddenly took a full swallow. He used to hate alcohol, but now it tasted like freedom.

"I mean…I dunno. Maybe old lady Tsunade and Kakashi are right. Maybe all this time we've been looking at it the wrong way. She wanted to be alone, so she left. It doesn't have to mean the worst. Sakura-chan is one of the strongest women I know."

Naruto looked to the redhead for understanding, but Gaara just shook his head.

"Not you too, Naruto." He tried to keep from sounding too bitter, but the blonde picked up on it immediately.

"You know… in all this time I've never asked what went on between you and Sakura-chan while she was in Suna, Gaara. I'm not that kind of guy. But it's obvious to everyone the reason you're holding on. It's a noble thing, but…" Naruto stirred his noodles with a chopstick, unsure of how to continue.

"Holding on? Can we stop talking about her as if she's dead?" Gaara snapped louder than he'd meant to. The servers at the ramen stand looked up nervously, but said nothing. Recently he was constantly on edge, and there was nothing anyone else could do to soothe it.

Beside him, Sasuke continued to sip his drink as if nothing was the matter. As if he was completely disconnected from anything to do with Sakura Haruno. Naruto sighed out.

"I've been trying to bring this up tactfully, but Hinata and I put off the wedding for almost five months hoping she'd show up one day. We've decided we're going through with it in three weeks' time."

Gaara let the words sink in. The two had been hoping Sakura would show up to see them married, and surely they had to be hurt and frustrated. Time was passing by without her, and it seemed like he was the only one clinging on to the past.

"You should," Gaara said. "If that's what you want."

"It's what I want." He was firm. "And most of all, I want you to be there."

"Of course," Gaara answered dutifully. Deep down, he knew he couldn't afford to lose another person dear to him.

* * *

The next day Gaara returned to Suna, and after two days of harsh travel, headed straight to his office, as usual. The stress of work and fending off memories was taking its toll. He was more of a recluse than ever before. On his desk there was a stack of ornate folders, and he gave them a long look before pulling a frosted glass bottle from the bottom of his desk.

The sake was an old gift from Kankuro upon turning drinking age, but Gaara never touched it until recently. Now the large bottle was almost empty. He paused a moment, sighing out, and then poured himself a tall glass.

Gaara took a sip of the clear liquor and let it roll over his tongue. Ages ago he found the taste terribly bitter, but now it was just more of a dull burn. He remembered the night he'd told Sakura how much of a distaste he had for alcohol, but recently found a glass or three would often calm his racing thoughts. When he was numb, it was easier not to imagine Sakura going through something twisted and terrible. Or worse, dead.

"Gaara-sama?" There was a knock and Matsuri peeked in through the door.

He hadn't seen her around very much since Sakura's disappearance, and suspected either Temari or Kankuro had her reassigned somewhere so he had more time to himself. But that night, the sight of her gentle, curious features made Gaara feel a bit more human. It reminded him of a time before Sakura, where things were simple and pleasantly uninteresting.

"Matsuri-san." He finished his glass and opened the door the rest of the way. "It's been some time."

"Yes…" The brunette clasped her hands in front of her and bowed. Gaara could read the nerves all over her face. "I'm afraid I…I've… been ashamed to see you."

"Why would you be ashamed?" Gaara guided her into the darkened room, genuinely surprised by her distress.

Matsuri took a moment to pull herself together. She'd never been in his office after dark before, and with only the light from the moon shining in, it felt strangely intimate.

"Matsuri?" Gaara put his hand on her shoulder and she jumped.

"The night she left…I said some things to Sakura-chan that I shouldn't have. I think that…I think that I'm part of the reason she left!" Matsuri spat out the confession in a rush. It had been weighing on her heavily for months. At first she'd been overjoyed at the news of Sakura's disappearance, but slowly came to realize that her impact on Gaara had been larger than she'd imagined.

Instead of things returning to normal, Matsuri watched from afar as her once focused 'Gaara-sama' became obsessed with putting all his time and energy into searching for Sakura. Even when he was in his office at work he seemed so far away.

Gaara looked at her seriously for a moment and then turned back to his desk to pour himself another drink. He took a seat on the edge.

"I'm sure that isn't the case." He tried his best to sound reassuring as he took another sip, but Matsuri's hands were still trembling. Without inviting her to come closer, the brunette moved in next to him on top of the desk.

"But Gaara-sama…"

"Matsuri, I assure you it's worthless to try and blame yourself. Everyone's responsible for their own actions."

"Mn," The young girl nodded, but seemed unconvinced. "I just feel…I don't know."

"What?"

"I said the things I did out of jealousy. Because I was so scared of how close she was getting to you."

Matsuri shifted closer on the desk top until their hands were just barely touching. She brushed her pinky finger against his at first – testing the waters— and then boldly slid her hand over his altogether. It reminded him intensely of the afternoon Sakura had helped him with the children, and come on to him in the office. He missed the feeling of excitement she'd brought.

"Because I…" Matsuri's cheeks reddened and she bit her lower lip. "Because Gaara-sama I—

Gaara knew what she would say, but decided he didn't want to hear it. Instead he slipped a hand behind her neck and pulled her to him by the hair. When he crushed his lips on hers, he felt the shock jolt through Matsuri from head to toe. She nearly bit his lips trying to say his name, but then clung to his shirt in disbelief. When she gasped, he felt like choking her with his tongue. Her sounds were nothing like hers – the moans too high pitched, too childish, but he pressed on, aching with a need he didn't realized had grown so strong over the course of four and a half months.

He knew he was using her, and it was wrong – so wrong, but couldn't bring himself to stop. He wanted to feel _something_, with anyone, just to let himself know he wasn't crazy.

"Gaara-sama…" She finally parted for breath, her whole face rosy with blush.

"Gaara?" The sound of Temari's horrified voice made Matsuri jump up from the desk. Gaara, still half tipsy, half in shock of his hasty actions, sat still. Neither had heard her open the door.

"What's going on here?" She barked, shifting her gaze rapidly between the two.

"I…we…" Matsuri started to reach for Gaara, as if he would have the magical explanation, but Temari was having none of it.

"Matsuri, you should leave."

"But—

"NOW!" Temari boomed, and Matsuri rushed past, her hands over her mouth.

"What the fuck is going on with you?" Temari hissed as soon as the slam door shut. Gaara took another sip from his glass to calm his nerves, but found his hands were shaking.

Temari slapped the tumbler away without a second thought and let t shatter on the floor.

"Don't you dare think you can use that girl to fill the space she left behind!"

At even the implication of Sakura, Gaara grew defensive. "And just who are you to tell me what I can do with my time or my body?"

Temari doubled up to punch him in the face this time, but Gaara caught the attack easily with his sand.

"You're not this type of man." Temari shook him off and stood her ground. "I'm begging you to get yourself together."

"I am together." He stalked up to her. "I've wasted nearly four months of my life planning and organizing hunts for this woman. I've made myself look like a fool in front of my country and my council. And for what?"

"For love!" Temari was adamant. She was convinced this wasn't the Gaara she knew and loved.

"I can't say I ever loved her," Gaara snapped, and his sister's eyes shot wide open. "If I'm honest with myself I never even knew her."

"Gaara, I know it's frustrating. But this is the way things are sometimes. Naruto, Ino, Tsunade, Kakashi, Sasuke, her family… they all want her back. I do too, but it's a matter of time and resources. She left on her own and after so long we have to trust she'll come back on her own."

"Whether she does or doesn't…it can't be my concern anymore." Gaara turned back to the folders on his desk and picked up the one on top. They were rirekisho of potential suitors the council had sent him weeks ago. The pressure take a wife had grown quickly in response to his rash behavior with Sakura, and it seemed he could no longer avoid it. If he was honest, he wasn't sure he wanted to.

Kankuro had been right. Sakura Haruno _was_ trouble, and when his thoughts were dark he turned to the folders and considered the possibility of a simple life.

"Gaara…" Temari watched him open the top folder with worry. "Wait a second. Take tonight and cool off a bit. You shouldn't make these choices in haste."

Gaara ignored his sister's plea and studied the clear, bright face of the dark haired woman on the page. Shijima from the Hoki Family. Recently he'd paid attention to her file more than the others. They were a matrilineal clan of medical ninja who had ties to Konoha and their marriage would no doubt be good for diplomacy. And beneath her oversized glasses he could see a capable and conventionally attractive woman.

"Set up a meeting tomorrow with Shijima and the family. I'm done with this. I'm done with _her_."

* * *

**Eastern forest line of Ishigakure**

**Days missing: 175**

"I look terrible." Sakura muttered as Minami helped braid her hair. The black dye was constantly growing out and they'd given up on cutting it for fear of leaving any traces behind. Instead, Sakura opted for a thick braid which she made sure to always tuck firmly under the hood of her shawl.

Still, it seemed like everything was growing harder for her. Her tummy was slowly growing larger, and from profile she was convinced she looked more like a beached whale than a shinobi. Sakura hadn't expected to show so obviously, and it just made the situation seem much more real.

"Enough already… Besides, your baby feels nice and strong. What a treat," Minami giggled, but Fuwako elbowed her sharply from behind.

"25 weeks…" Sakura ignored the scuffle and smiled to herself. She'd made it far past the last time, and though so much had changed with her circumstances, one thing – the presence of the child's father, remained the same. Absent. This time, however, it was no one's fault but her own. Running from everything and everyone felt liberating at first, but as the weeks passed and Sakura sobered completely, so did her outlook. Away from her friends and family she was hardened, but no less lonely.

And a baby complicated everything. Sakura knew she couldn't continue a life of constant travel with a newborn, especially in winter, and part of her wondered more and more about Gaara's place in her life.

It was nice to feel so capable and needed by Ami, Fuwako, and Minami, but hadn't he offered her the same?

"Don't mope." Ami butted into her thoughts. "You're lucky we haven't had any more close calls because of you. All this frequent movement, and last month we almost—

"—I know, I'm sorry. I didn't think they'd still be looking." Sakura shouldered her pack again with a grunt. She had trained herself to be far more muted with her emotions over the past few past months, but as hard as she tried to block out the feeling of longing, couldn't. Gaara had been close enough to touch then, and the memory was constant.

* * *

"_Sakura- get up! Someone's moving through the campsite. We need your strength."_

_It was the middle of the night and instead of setting up their usual residence, the three had taken shelter in a cave. Ami was on first lookout as usual, and not even an hour after they'd gone to sleep, she was shaking them awake. _

"_What's—_

_Sakura froze. She could feel three strong chakra signatures. So familiar it ached just to be in their presence. _

"_N-naruto. Sasuke. Gaara." She jumped up in the dark without thinking. _

"_Guys, over there! I feel something!" Naruto's voice cried out, and all of a sudden the forest lit up with electric energy. Sakura could see Sasuke's Chidori lighting a path towards them. After what she'd done she couldn't believe that they were out looking for her – especially Sasuke. _

"_Shit!" Fuwako hissed, and shoved Sakura roughly into the darkness of the cave. Thinking quickly, Minami ripped a few pink strands from Sakura's hair. She channeled energy into her mouth to blow them several hundred feet to the left, away from their hiding place. As soon as she did so, Ami pulled them all close and the three focused their energy into creating an illusion around the cave. If anyone passed, they would see or feel nothing out of the ordinary. Just an empty cave._

"_Here." A deep voice came close and Sakura felt her heart begin to race. It was unmistakably Gaara. The light from Sasuke's chidori illuminated the cave, but she knew they wouldn't be able to see anything. Although Fuwako was holding her close, Sakura felt the urge to spring forward and into Gaara's arms. _

_She saw his face as he stood at the opening of the cave, deeply worn and skeptical. He seemed so tired, but still touched every part of the rock to make sure it was real._

"_I was sure I felt her." He muttered to himself. _

'_I'm here. Look, I'm here!' Sakura wanted to say, but Fuwako held a hand tight over her mouth. _

_Naruto dashed to his side._

"_Looks like maybe she stopped here a while ago. There were some pink hairs over in the other direction. Let's go."_

* * *

Since then, Sakura couldn't help but notice how depleted and on edge the three women seemed. The once friendly talk had all but disappeared, but Sakura tried to chock it up to exhaustion. Although she did her best to help keep up the daily field of genjutsu around their camp, Ami, Fuwako, and even Minami had a level of chakra control that even Sakura struggled to touch. Although she was starting to find their mastery alarming, she'd kept her mouth shut.

Still, the constant usage of chakra combined with almost daily movement and shelter building was taking a toll on them. No matter how many homemade soldier pills or natural remedies Sakura concocted, she knew it was only so long before they'd break.

"Don't worry," the trio snapped at her each time she brought it up. "We'll be able to replenish ourselves soon enough."

Sakura didn't know what they meant by it, but she was growing increasingly worried at the way they all continued to sacrifice their food and energy for her. It seemed every day she was growing stronger and more agile while they just trudged along. It didn't make sense.

That evening they were packing up camp to move along the border when Ami stopped sharply and dropped the bundle of wood she was holding.

"Sakura, to your left!"

Ready to fight, Sakura sprung up and whirled around, prepared for an attack. However, what she saw stunned her. It wasn't ANBU or a hunter-nin, but a boy collecting what looked like stones along the river. He wore a hidden rock forehead protector, but didn't look like he could be more than a genin. He gave a curious smile, and Sakura let go the breath she was holding.

"Guys, it's just a kid. We can—

Before she could finish her sentence, Minami tore past in a burst of leaves and knocked him to the ground with her fist. The boy was too taken aback to cry out, but tried to lash out with a kunai. Even depleted, however, Minami was far faster. Before Sakura could even think to react, she ripped the blade of a short sword across his throat and tore it wide open. Blood splattered across her pale face.

"What have you done?!" Sakura screamed. She rushed to help the boy, praying it wasn't too late to heal, but Fuwako surged forward and held her back.

"Finally!" Minami breathed out heavily and laid her hands on the boy's still chest. "He's not so strong, but at least we'll get a little relief. Quick!"

Sakura stood in shock as Ami and Fuwako walked casually to her side.

"How could you…it wasn't necessary!" Sakura could no longer relegate her volume.

"Not necessary for you, maybe," Fuwako chuckled. "I was about to pass out!"

Sakura still didn't understand until they all laid their hands on his skin and absorbed what little chakra he had left in his body. Her body went cold. This was the truth of the women she was travelling with. This was the reality of their strength. They may have been innocents long ago, but now they lived out in the woods killing others and absorbing their energy. It had to be why they were so resilient.

"Don't stand there looking so shocked." Ami wiped the blood from her hands onto her pants. "Weren't you the one who said you'd do anything to protect your child?"

"Not this." Sakura took two steps back, into the rocky path behind her. "You never said anything like this!"

Behind her, the boy's body was entirely lifeless, and Sakura could still see his eyes blindly staring up at the sky. There was no way to bring him back now.

"Jesus, can we just drain her already?" Minami's moan disrupted her grief. "Her baby feels super strong- if we cut it out…"

Sakura's heart began to race and suddenly she couldn't hear anything at all. She got it now – why they'd allowed her to travel with them, why they spent their time caring for her and feeding her. As soon as they knew the Kazekage of Suna was the child's father, they wanted a piece of her. Her strength and Gaara's. They were going to kill her. They were going to kill her and absorb both her abilities and the chakra of her child.

She couldn't let it happen.

Never again.

While the three bickered amongst themselves, Sakura felt a jolt of energy surge through her. Blinded with rage, she dove for Minami first, letting out a cry that echoed throughout the entire forest. The preteen's back hit the rocky path beneath them, and Sakura could hear the bones crunching under the power of her fist.

The girl's eyes rolled back, and her face was distorted by the impact, but success was short lived. Ami jumped high, and in a flash a set of six clones came charging at her. Normally, it would have shocked Sakura ainto reevaluating her attack strategy, but she was too furious to feel fear. In her leg pouch she found an exploding note, and attached it to the girl's flak jacket. Before Ami could react, Sakura pocked shoved the short sword into the back of her pants and grabbed Minami's lifeless form by the leg. With one large heave, she swung the body hard into two of the clones, knocking them into puffs of smoke. Minami's bloodied form continued on from sheer momentum, and knocked Fuwako down, several hundred feet away. The two exploded into flames.

Sakura knew it wouldn't take her out completely, but at least give her time to deal with Ami.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Sakura." One of Ami's clones appeared over her shoulder and grabbed her from behind. "I thought you were willing to sacrifice."

Sakura scoffed. "My life for yours? My child's life for yours? No fucking way." She activated the rhombus seal on her forehead, and with the strength, it was as if all her years of training came flooding back in an instant. This was what she was meant to be – a shinobi – a fighter –to protect the things she loved. How had she forgotten?

Before the clone could squeeze her tight, Sakura made a series of hand seals and formed three of her own. The trio launched themselves at Ami and rained down blows until she disappeared in another bomb of smoke. Finally free, Sakura tumbled to the ground. Her added weight threw her off balance, and the size of her belly made her recovery more cumbersome, but she was still determined to fight.

From her hip she drew five kunai and hurled them at the two remaining Ami's. They both dodged easily, but she'd counted on that. The moment each of the kunai lodged into the trees behind her, Sakura raced in the other direction, five strands of razor wire between her fingertips. She pulled hard with all her might until Ami was caught and the wire dug into her flesh. Seeing the blood and hearing her shriek was surprisingly delightful. The final clone extinguished itself, but before Sakura could drag the last wire across Ami's throat, she felt a searing pain rip through her back.

"Bitch!"

'Fuwako!' Sakura only saw the bright blue of her eyes as she flew through the air, caught off guard by the sudden strike. Her shawl had been torn, and she could feel severe damage to the muscle in her mid-back, near her spine. She didn't have time to heal it, and instead propelled herself backward, using her own body weight to flip her over and onto her hands. Her wrists took the brunt of the landing but she managed to push up and back onto her feet as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Sakura knew she must have been running on pure adrenaline, because she no longer felt any pain at all.

In the distance, Ami's body twitched on the ground and she gasped for breath. The wire had been poisoned and the older woman's arms and legs were rendered useless.

"You're the only bitch here," She hissed, and charged back towards Fuwako. The girl was quick, and drew a set of shuriken from the holster on her leg. Sakura was too enraged to dodge them all, and instead took the hit as one lodged into each of her shoulders. She had a short sword hidden in the back of her pants, and needed to get close enough for a direct strike.

Fuwako filled her cheeks suddenly, and Sakura reasoned she was either holding an explosive or poison senbon in her mouth. Either way, she was fucked. Thinking quickly, she tore off the thick shawl around her body and threw it over Fuwako's face in an attempt to daze muffle the blast. The moment Sakura drew the blade from her pants and brought it down to slice across Fuwako's neck, she smelt gasoline and the entire forest lit up in a deafening blast.

Sakura saw white.

"Sakura!"

The blood pounded in her ears, and all she could hear was a high pitched whining, as if someone was screaming. The cry sounded far away, and Sakura knew the ringing in her ears was distorting things, but who was it? Fuwako? Ami?

The earsplitting noise continued, and it was then she realized it was coming from her own throat – raw and burning. She was the one screaming, and someone was holding her down.

"Sakura goddamn it, stop!"

Her eyes snapped open and she was overwhelmed by what she saw. Purple face paint… dark brown eyes… a giant puppet looming over her shoulder.

Her entire body was on fire.

"K-kankuro?!"

* * *

**AN:** Forgive me – I suck at fight scenes. *creeps out*


	14. Deaf, Blind, Numb

Title: Lady in Waiting

Chapter 14: Deaf, Blind, Numb

AN: Awww yeahhh. You know what time it is. ;-)

**XXxoxXX**

* * *

For Kankuro, sometimes being a part of Suna's counter-terrorism division really sucked. The puppetmaster always loved getting his hands dirty with tough missions, but ever since the war was over, there hadn't been much of anything to strike back against. So the week prior when he'd been briefed on a group of rogue female shinobi who had been causing trouble on the eastern edge of Ishi, he sprung at the chance to potentially kick ass. It took a little convincing Gaara, but with as distracted as he'd been recently, after making up a few lines about the possibility that they might move to Suna and some nonsense about improving diplomatic relations, Kankuro was free. The only problem was, even after combing the forest day and night, the sand ninja hadn't seen or heard a peep, and pretty much considered the whole thing to be a wash.

That was, until he felt a surge of chakra across the forest.

Kankuro had never really been great at identifying shinobi by their release, but the burst of energy was so familiar that for a moment he froze completely.

'Sakura?'

His mind went blank.

They didn't talk about her anymore. Ever since Naruto and Hinata's wedding, it was like some unspoken rule. You never mentioned the name Haruno Sakura and certainly not with the words 'desertion' or 'disappearance' attached. Over time there were no more toasts in her memory at parties, or vigils held by friends and family. Her loss was a failure that everyone felt, but no one was quite ready to own up to.

Least of all Kankuro.

After hounding Gaara to keep her out of his life, he should have been happy to know the pink haired shinobi had taken off. But he'd never expected her to be gone for so long, or for the reality to hit his little brother so hard. It was supposed to be a phase. A fluke. Sakura had always been such a non-issue, and Gaara was… well, Gaara. Kankuro remembered what it felt like to have crushes when he was younger – it felt absolute and consuming – but it was always something you got over. But as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the extent of Kankuro's mistake became obvious. No matter how much time he spent with Shijima or work he had to bury himself under, Gaara would never be the same.

Frantic, Kankuro bolted for the intense energy, and it took him to a clearing. It was there he saw her – all pink hair and fury, back torn open and hanging in the air, prepared to attack. The face of the woman in front of her was one he remembered from his bingo book. Fuwako Imahara. And ten paces away, the twisted, twitching form of Ami Toh.

He couldn't understand it. In all his time out in search of the trio, Kankuro had never been able to locate even once trace of the women. He wondered – had Sakura really just stumbled upon them while on her travels?

"You're the only bitch here!" He heard the pink haired girl snap. And then Kankuro smelled it – gasoline.

Fuwako filled her cheeks with what Kankuro knew had to be explosive, but even from his angle beneath her, could tell Sakura was too close to get out of the way. In a desperate attempt to shield herself, he watched her tear off her shawl and throw it over the girl's face. But Kankuro knew it wouldn't be enough. He had to act. Lightning fast, he called forth Sanshouo and leapt onto his back. Just as the explosion ripped through the forest, he cancelled it with a burst of flames from the puppet's giant mouth. Sakura's body was just barely caught in the blast, but at such high temperatures, her cry of pain was deafening.

Kankuro watched her fall from the sky in what seemed like slow motion. Blood poured from the wound in her back and splattered over his puppet. He managed to catch her at the last moment, but just the contact on her raw flesh was enough to set Sakura off. She began to wail louder and thrash in his arms.

"Sakura! Sakura, goddamn it, stop!" He shouted to cut through her screams.

"K-kankuro?!" Her eyes shot wide, and then finally she settled, gasping for breath.

"Yeah…it's me. It's Kankuro." He tried to sound calm, but was horrified at the gaping wound in Sakura's back and even more at the large baby bump she was sporting.

Though she struggled, Sakura managed to twist her bloodied lips into a smirk. "Shit. Of all the people…Who would have thought it'd be you?" Her voice died down to barely a whisper.

"Shut up!" Kankuro hissed, but what he really meant was, 'Goddamn it woman, conserve your strength.' His gloved hands fumbled their way around to the pink haired woman's back and the serious gash there. There was so much blood, and with no real medical affinity, the puppet master was at a loss for what to do.

"Shit, shit, shit." he muttered under his breath.

"Am I dying?" Sakura's voice came again – so airy and calm that it chilled Kankuro to the bone. He tore off his shirt and despite Sakura's cry of pain, packed it firmly into the wound.

"Fuck no!" He tried his best to keep the quaver out of his reply. "If you died out here, he'd never forgive me."

"Gaara?" Sakura sounded so hopeful, his heart sank. She really hadn't forgotten him.

"Who else!" Kankuro gently slapped her cheek to keep her conscious. "Like I said, he'd never forgive me, so don't fucking die on me, okay? You need to see him again, right?"

"I can't…" Her eyes started to slip closed again, but this time Kankuro ripped out one of the shuriken lodged in her shoulder, startling Sakura back awake.

"Fuck!" She gasped sharply and threw her head back into his arms.

"Don't you dare pass out! You need to tell me what to do here, Sakura! Tell me what to do so I can help!"

Sakura could see the desperation in his eyes, and tried her hardest to focus. She'd come so far, and now that Kankuro was there, she was convinced she could make it.

She could make it back to him.

"The wound near my spine." Sakura suddenly looked alert. "Is it bad?"

Kankuro was unsure how to respond. When he moved the shirt blood poured out to cover his hands. The gash was so deep he could clearly see the torn muscle and all the way down to the bone.

"Kankuro wake up!" She latched onto the edge of his shirt.

"It's bad," he admitted and Sakura directed her gaze up at the sky. Her breathing was labored, and Kankuro watched helplessly as she struggled to think. Even without seeing the wound, Sakura knew the situation had to be dire. She could barely feel her legs, and the ache in her back had become a dull one. There was something seriously wrong.

"Okay…okay." She puffed, leaving frantic clouds of condensation in the cold air. "You'll have to leave me here and get help."

Kankuro leapt up. "Like hell!"

"Kankuro I…" She squeezed her eyes shut and took on a businesslike tone. "Sensation in my legs is low. 40, maybe 45%. Any unnecessary movement could paralyze me. You need to bring back someone skilled."

"You're out of your mind! I can't just fucking leave you here! There's so much blood I…"

"I'll try to induce as much clotting as I can, but Kankuro..." she squeezed his hand again. "I'm going to pass out."

"Sakura I swear to God if you—

"—Shut up, Kankuro!" She rasped out, but then forced a smile when the older shinobi fell quiet. "Just listen. I want you to promise me that if you come back and I don't make it…"

"You're going to make it." He was adamant, but Sakura's gaze was so steely he stopped talking completely.

"…promise me." She squeezed his hand. "Promise me you'll never tell him you found me. Just… get rid of me somewhere."

Kankuro was stunned, but then Sakura continued. "I left him once already," she whispered. "I can't do it to him again. So just…just let him forget I ever existed."

"Promise." Kankuro nodded and watched as the pinkette used what little strength she had to focus chakra to the wound. It bubbled for a moment, and then began to turn dark all over, easing the bleeding. But as she predicted, the moment was short-lived and she fell still.

"Fuck it – who do you think you are?" He snapped at her lifeless body. "Promises are meant to be broken, and there's no way in hell I'm coming all the way back out here to bury your ass!" Kankuro shifted the limp girl into his arms and took off, running as fast as he could toward home.

**XXxoxXX**

* * *

"…the date?"

Gaara knew Naruto was saying something, but couldn't entirely focus on the words. The blonde had somehow convinced Shijima to do a double date lunch with him and Hinata, and ever since he met her, it was always hard for him to say 'no'. Not only was Shijima intelligent and strong, but vital. And on the council's insistence, it was always his goal to keep a smile on her face. The only thing was, it had never gotten any easier. Gaara had been trying so hard to be a perfect version of happy, but instead found himself totally lost. If it wasn't in work, it was memories.

"Gaara?" Shijima gave his hand a gentle pat, and the redhead was startled back to reality. He blinked and focused again on the teriyaki set meal in front of him at the open air stall.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Hinata looked at him cautiously, blushing.

"The date," she repeated for her husband. "When will you and Shijima-chan be having the wedding?"

Gaara suddenly felt a familiar annoyance begin to sting at him between the eyes. If it wasn't the council asking him about the wedding, it was his siblings or his friends. The only one who hadn't pestered him about it was Shijima herself. At least not verbally. She seemed to get there wasn't something quite right with him, but was never able to pin it down.

"It hasn't been discussed," he said simply, but took note of the embarrassed look on Shijima's face.

"Oh!" Naruto seemed oblivious to the strain between them. "I always thought arranged marriage stuff moved really quickly."

Gaara kept his gaze down, and beside him, Shijima continued to look uncomfortable.

"Well, there's quite a bit of planning involved." She squeezed Gaara's hand with her own, and he was grateful for the defense. Those days, he remembered how much he really didn't deserve her. He could only wonder how long the patience would last.

"That's true." Hinata's calm response diffused the tension. "Even our—

Before she could finish, the sound of frantic shouting silenced everyone. Naruto and Gaara were both instantly on their feet, looking for trouble.

"It's Kankuro!" The blonde exclaimed, but Gaara stayed planted.

In the distance, he too could see Kankuro's familiar form barreling towards them. He thought nothing of it at first, but once he focused in on his brother and the determined look on his face, Gaara knew there was something clearly wrong. As Kankuro rushed through the busy street, villagers covered their mouths in shock.

"Get out of the way!" He yelled, coming up fast. It was at that moment, Gaara made direct eye contact with his older brother. Instead of stopping, Kankuro looked away and shifted the large, tightly wrapped load in his arms.

"Gaara!" Naruto cried out suddenly as Kankuro sped past, leaving a trail of blood in his wake.

It happened in the blink of an eye, but for Gaara, the seconds passed in slow motion. It was as if he couldn't breathe. In front of him, Naruto was shouting something, but yet again he couldn't hear. Blood pounded in his ears and all Gaara could see were long strands of pink hair moving past his face, close enough to touch.

"Did you see that!?" Naruto looked like he was about to hyperventilate, and next to him, Hinata sprang to attention.

"Sakura-chan!" She clasped both hands in front of her chest. They both looked lively but scared, and Gaara couldn't tell what his own face was doing at that moment, but from the look in Shijima's eyes knew it had to be nothing good.

"Sakura-chan…who's that?" Shijima whirled around on her seat to face Gaara head on. She was instantly curious at the way her fiancé's features had suddenly changed.

"If that was her…" Hinata looked between them frantically. Although Gaara didn't know if she had interrupted Shijima for his sake or because she was truly so flustered, he appreciated not having to explain himself.

"We need to get to the hospital!" Naruto dropped his hold on Gaara's arm and started to take off in a run with his wife in tow. Gaara, however, stayed still, staring at the trail of blood in the sand. The smell was overwhelming.

"Gaara?" Shijima clutched his arm and molded herself against his side. "Who's Sakura-chan?"

The warmth of her body startled Gaara.

"Nothing – I mean, no one. I'm sorry, I have to get to the office." Despite the stammer, he was surprised at how even his tone sounded, even as his heart raced. Naruto turned on him as if he had six heads.

"Are you serious?! How could you say that?" He snapped, but Hinata held him back with both hands.

Her gaze met Gaara's for a moment and then went sad with understanding. "Enough, Naruto. We have to see her," she said, and managed to pull her husband away, despite his protests.

When Sakura woke, she couldn't feel her legs. Deep down, she'd expected it, but the reality was heartbreaking. Her whole lower half felt like dead weight, and though heavily bandaged, the burned flesh on her arms was still raw and painful. Despite this, she found a set of chakra infused cuffs binding each wrist to her metal gurney. She was not only lame, she was trapped. A sense of panic filled Sakura's chest, and suddenly she felt completely claustrophobic.

The hospital room felt empty, but as soon as Sakura jerked her head to the side to get a better look around, a large, cat-eared shadow loomed at the curtain. She panicked.

"Sakura!" Kankuro rushed through as soon as he saw her struggling against the restraints. "Calm down, Sakura."

"Let me up!" Sakura's breath came in ragged pants. "Let me up Kankuro I can't…"

"Hey, shh. Relax, it'll be fine. Relax." He took a seat at the side of the bed and began to stroke her hair. It was so unlike the man she knew before she left, Sakura's eyes began to well with tears. She refused to cry, but the pain in her hands and even in her face was overwhelming.

"Where am I? Where did you take me?"

"You're in Suna," he spoke gently, leaning in. "In the hospital. The prison ward."

Sakura swallowed hard. She should have expected this as well. Kankuro pulled the chair closer to her bed and she steadied her breathing.

He gave a cursory look over his shoulder before speaking close to her ear. "I'm assuming they're only holding you provisionally on Kakashi's orders, but if your story checks out, you'll be out of here and back in the regular ward."

"My story?" She choked, throat raw. Sakura's mind raced. Surely, if anyone knew she had left her country without notice or approval and joined a gang of terrorists, they'd keep her locked up… at the very least.

"Those women you were with in the forest. Fuwako, Ami, and—

"—I didn't know about what they did, Kankuro. You have to believe that I never would have… " Sakura struggled to keep the panic out of her voice, but suddenly everything was becoming too real. Yes, she was back, but she wasn't safe. And if there was one thing she knew, it was that she couldn't let Konoha kill her-kill her child— after making it so far.

"I know. That's what I thought you told me before." Kankuro reached across the bed and took hold of her unscarred hand. He smiled though his tone was deadly serious. "I'd have done the same thing, though. I can't imagine travelling all on your own and then all of a sudden coming across a child's dead body. Still, it was brave of you to assess the situation and take them all on like that."

Sakura gave him a confused look. "What?"

"Don't be shy about it." Kankuro squeezed her hand, demanding she understand. "You were out there, traveling alone all that time… They must have let their guard down when you stumbled on them, right?"

Sakura nodded shakily, and Kankuro dropped back into his seat with a sigh. He was giving her an out. Even after all his antagonizing, she knew Kankuro was trying his best to get her to remember what was important. She needed to craft a convincing story that Kakashi and the rest of Konoha would believe.

"They'd been using genjustu to mask their presence. They had the ability to absorb the chakra and abilities of any opponent – it must have been why they were so strong."

"I know." Kankuro pulled out a small black book from his pocket. "I was out there looking for them when I found you. They were part of highly wanted terrorist group. It's incredible that you took two out."

"Two?" Sakura looked stunned. 'What about…'

"The poison thread you used put Ami in intensive care, but according to a contact in Ishi, she's still clinging on in their hospital."

Sakura felt her heart start to race again. Ami was a very dangerous loose thread and could potentially bring down any story she concocted. Who knew what the woman would say when facing death. And with nothing to lose? Kankuro felt Sakura's body tense, and gave her hand another gentle squeeze.

"Don't worry. They won't want to hear anything from her. She'll be put down like the rest," he reassured her.

Sakura forced a smile, but Kankuro followed her anxious gaze down to her swollen tummy.

"You made me run farther than I've ever run in my fucking life, you know that?" He tried to lighten the mood.

She smirked. "I told you to leave me there, you show off."

"Yeah right. And get my ass kicked by everyone when they found out I didn't fight to save you?"

There was a silence, and Sakura turned her head on the stiff hospital pillow. "Gaara. How's Gaara?"

Kankuro waited a moment before answering, wondering if he should give her the truth or spare her feelings. When he saw the determined look in Sakura's eyes, however, he knew he couldn't do the kid gloves. Not when her life was at stake.

"Engaged," he said, and Sakura touched her stomach reflexively. As quickly as it went she let her hand fall back to her side, but not before Kankuro saw the tic.

"He had to, you understand?" He eyed the pinkette carefully. "The council had been pressuring him for months before you showed up and then you left and…"

"Right. Of course." Sakura's thoughts were racing, but she tried to keep the false smile on her lips. She'd really become as selfish as Sasuke; even entertaining the idea that he would wait for her when she'd turned her back on him in the worst way.

"The baby…" He made a motion with his chin towards her stomach. "Is it—

"It has nothing to do with him." Sakura was quick to lie. "It was just something that happened."

Even with his child kicking inside her, she felt the distance between her and Gaara growing by the second. She could barely process it. He was engaged, with a wife to be, and most likely plans for a life and children with her. Regardless of how she felt, she wouldn't be the selfish one anymore. She wouldn't expect to just show up and ruin that. She hadn't done many things in her life alone, but she could at least do this..

Inside, Kankuro wasn't sure he believed her, but chose his next words carefully. "Something that happened to you, or…"

"I'm happy about my child, Kankuro." She squeezed his hand back and closed her eyes. "Don't worry about me."

Kankuro felt her start to slip her hand away, but caught her fingers and refused to let them go. "I've worried about you since the beginning," he admitted. Sakura gave a weak chuckle.

"Yeah right. You were sure shitty at showing it."

"I'm really not good with women," he admitted, but then laughed when Sakura rolled her eyes.

"I mean… women I know could kick my ass." He corrected himself. "Look, honestly… Gaara is my little brother and I'd failed him in the past. I felt I needed to make up to him by always—

"—I get it," Sakura tensed at the mention of him. "I really do. I came in and dumped my baggage on everyone."

There was a long silence between them, and Sakura began to feel a hot tingling in her arms. It seemed like her pain medication was wearing off.

"He hasn't been the same since you left, you know." Kankuro's declaration briefly numbed her.

"I did a terrible thing to him. He wanted to help me and I…" Sakura stared up at the ceiling. "I'm not surprised he hates me."

"I didn't say he hates you," Kankuro frowned. "He's just…"

"Engaged," Sakura chuckled, but Kankuro could plainly see how uncomfortable she was – with the bindings and the news. In all honesty, so was he. Gaara hadn't been the same since Sakura took off, and though Shijima was a fine woman, Kankuro couldn't deny the feeling of relief he experienced when the pink haired shinobi suddenly showed up on their radar again. All he wanted was for things to be normal. Sill, when he looked at Sakura's burned left cheek, swollen belly and heavily wrapped arms, Kankuro knew that 'normal' was lightyears away.

"Focus on getting your strength up." He touched her shoulder lightly, careful not to disturb the wound there. "Everything will be all right."

Sakura wanted to believe him, but something told her Kankuro wasn't so sure himself. As soon as he headed back through the curtains, she reached for the clicker beside the bed that regulated her pain medication. Sakura pressed it rapidly until she knew the meds would lock out at their highest recommended dosage. She'd always been a bit of a lightweight when it came to opiates, and the drugs coupled with her exhausted state would leave her out for a while.

She didn't care; she needed it. At that moment, anything was better than dealing with reality.

While Sakura drifted back into a drug induced sleep, chaos was erupting in the hospital lobby. As soon as Kankuro exited, he saw Naruto arguing ferociously with a set of doctors. Even Hinata, behind him, looked surprisingly agitated.

"She's our friend! You can't fucking tell me we aren't allowed to see her!" He shouted. A few heads turned, and Kankuro quickly shuffled over in hopes to diffuse the situation. His hands were still dark with dried blood, and he did his best to rub it off against his pants as he approached.

"Kankuro!" The blonde rushed to meet him halfway. "We saw, I mean—Sakura-chan… was it Sakura?! Is Sakura here? They won't tell us…is she okay?"

Kankuro put on his best neutral face. "It's her." He shoved his hands into his pockets. Hinata's hands flew to her mouth, and she began to sob. Naruto was quick to pull her to him.

"She's alive," Kankuro continued. "But badly hurt. A mix of second and third degree burns on her arms and part of her face. And her legs…they're not sure if she'll regain use yet."

As Hinata sniffled, Naruto seemed to be trying his best to process the situation. Although he could still be quite the hothead, Kankuro knew he had also grown into someone who wanted to know the nitty gritty details of every dangerous situation.

"What the fuck happened to her out there?" Naruto spoke through grit teeth.

Kankuro took a pause and considered Sakura's privacy before speaking. "She ran into some wanted terrorists. She had to protect herself."

At this, the husband and wife seemed greatly alarmed, but Kankuro only hoped they wouldn't ask more questions.

"Is she awake? Can we see her?" Hinata pressed. Kankuro sighed. This one, he couldn't dodge.

"She's …on lockdown." He wrung his hands together, remembering how broken and helpless the pink haired shinobi looked while strapped down to a gurney.

"What?"

"I let Konoha know she was here and Kakashi and Tsunade requested she be held in the prisoner's ward until they can come in and question her."

"Why would they need to do that? Why are they treating her like a prisoner?" Naruto's voice was so calm that Kankuro knew something was incredibly wrong. He could already see a deep red starting to take over the blonde's clear blue eyes, and Hinata gripped him to her like a lifeline.

'Because she is.' Kankuro thought, but instead looked away. "It's a Konoha decision. You'll have to ask your Hokage."

**XXxoxXX**

* * *

Hours later after the panic and rush from the council to discuss Sakura's sudden appearance, Gaara stood outside the door to his bedroom, prepared to slink in and lie down beside a sleeping Shijima. His eyes were red-rimmed, from exhaustion and alcohol, but he put on a neutral face and steadied his steps forward.

Gaara opened the door and expected to see Shijima snoozing on her side, but instead, caught sight of a shadowed, slim figure sitting upright on the edge of the bed. As he approached, he spotted the deep frown on her lips.

"So nice to finally see you," Shijima said, pulling her hair off her shoulders. It was dark in the room, lit only by the light of the moon, and Gaara found it hard to read her features clearly.

"I apologize," he defaulted, mind too foggy to come up with anything else. "I should have—

"—don't worry, Temari took me out for dinner. You know… I can't deal with that anymore." The raven haired woman's tone was icy, and Gaara knew he couldn't blame her. After the scene at the ramen stall, he'd hurried back to the office and left her to fend for herself once again.

"Shouldn't you get used to it? That's your future sister-in-law you're talking about." He was intoxicated enough to try a joke, but felt an angry surge of energy from her on the bed.

"Is it?" Shijima glared him down. "You know, I'm not a traditional woman, but I do hate that my parents think I'm here living in sin because you can't commit. You seem to think you're the in the world going through some shit."

Gaara paused at the biting remark. "I'm sorry. There's been a lot on my mind." He took a seat on the bed and began slowly unfastening the buttons on his jacket.

"Sakura-chan?" Shijima crossed the room until she was standing in front of him. Gaara kept his gaze down, staring at one of the last buttons on his coat. He threaded it back and forth through the hole to keep from looking at her.

"I asked Temari about it." Shijima filled the silence. "She said you two were close. Why would you lie?"

Once Gaara finally gave up on the button, she slipped her hands under his collar and began pushing the jacket down his shoulders.

"She deserted her country," Gaara said plainly. "I didn't lie. She's nothing anymore."

Shijima was taken back by his curt response. Although Gaara had never been particularly affectionate with her, she'd never seen him so cold toward anyone before.

"I just…" She faltered. "You don't really hear of many women who do that. Especially from somewhere like Konoha. There's been whispers all over town since she showed up but…" Shijima frowned to herself. "Why did she go?"

Gaara felt his brow tic. He'd been thinking about Sakura all day as soon as he returned to the office – he certainly didn't want to dive straight into it back at home. In order to keep things civil with konoha, he had to agree to treat her like a prisoner. The thought both satisfied and sickened him. Gaara's head was killing him and when he closed his eyes, all he saw was pink hair. All he smelled was her blood.

"I don't want to talk about this." Gaara caught Shijima's hand as she made a move to run it into his hair. Ever since they'd gotten together she mentioned how much she liked it grown out and slicked down. He wore it that way just for her, and it seemed like ages since he'd seen a hair out of place.

Shijima sighed out – she knew she could consider that line of conversation officially over.

"Then let's talk about us." She slid into th¬e space between his thighs. "I get that you don't want this conversation to be about marriage right now, but can't it at least be about fun?"

Gaara raised a brow and Shijima chuckled at the innocent look.

"Come on… what's the point of living in sin when we're not actually doing any sinning?" She pulled off her glasses and Gaara looked up into her slate colored eyes. They were dark with something sexy and sinister.

She was right. Ever since she had come to Suna, it was nothing but chaste kisses and hand holding. Gaara felt like his libido had disappeared somewhere else entirely, but for months he hadn't even worried about finding it. That night, however, he wanted to do what she was implying – to throw her down on the bed and lose himself in something simple and uncomplicated, but Sakura was forever niggling at the corners of his mind. He used to remember her the way she left – fragile, but sweet. Now that image was bloodied and broken.

"There you go again." Shijima palmed his cheek. "Ever since we met, wherever we are… it's always like you're a thousand miles away."

Gaara looked up in time to see Shijima's mouth closing in on his. Her lips were chapped, but warm when they pressed to his. It felt nice, but not special. It never had been after Sakura. She screwed him up inside and It had been like that since the very beginning. And unless he got over her completely, it was the way it would always be.

"You've been drinking." Shijima murmured into their kiss. Gaara squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed her by the hips. Shijima yelped when he spun her back around, and he caught the sound in his mouth.

"I know you don't think I am… but I'm trying." he sighed when they parted. Shijima smiled to herself, but Gaara could see it was a sad one. He wanted to do something to comfort her, but instead let his hands slip away from her body in defeat.

"You should go and see her." She settled back down on the bed, away from him. "At the very least, put those demons to rest."

Gaara started to protest when there was a knock at the door. Used to the interruptions, Shijima said nothing as her fiancé stood and answered the door. It was Kankuro.

"Sorry." The puppetmaster mumbled when he caught sight of Shijima, half dressed and kneeling up on the bed.

"What is it?" Gaara muttered, but deep down he already knew. Kankuro made a gesture with his head toward the hallway.

"I need to talk to you. It's important."

Gaara gave a weary glance over his shoulder and Shijima waved him off. When he shut the door behind him, Kankuro didn't waste a second.

"Where the fuck have you been all day?" he growled. "I expected you to be the one chasing me down at the hospital, not just Naruto and Hinata."

"Why would I do that?" Gaara pushed in front of his brother and motioned for them to take the conversation to his office. As soon as they arrived, he turned his back on his brother completely.

Kankuro didn't pay it any mind, but had grown to hate being dragged into Gaara's office. It had taken quite the gloomy turn lately, with new blackout drapes and all the usual cacti on his windowsills just barely clinging on to life.

"You read the report I had sent over this afternoon, right? Everyone in the hospital is going fucking crazy. Sakura's in bad shape and they're treating her like a prisoner. I talked to her to get her story straight, but it looks like she might have gotten mixed up in some bad shit."

'Story?' Gaara felt his stomach clench, but didn't let the emotion show on his face. "I've been in my office all day dealing with this. I had to send emergency contact to Kakashi, as well as Ishi's council regarding the terrorists. We enlisted our counter-terrorism unit to help them and a child was murdered. Haruno went missing for months and then shows up in the company of terrorists. She has to answer for that."

Kankuro looked uneasy for a moment. He didn't want to get into the complexity of how he had found Sakura, or deal with the way Gaara was acting. "Look I'm not here to get into it with you. I'm just saying…she needs someone in her corner right now. She's on lockdown and I really think you should see her. Talk to her."

"I don't have anything to say to Haruno-san." Gaara was curt. "What happens now is between her, Kakashi, and the rest of Konoha's council."

"Oh come on—"

"—This is pure irony, you know." Gaara crossed his arms against his chest. "Months ago you were telling me how dangerous she was."

"Yeah, well I was wrong!" Kankuro snapped, cheeks red. "I was worried about you making a mistake with your life, but I was wrong. And I never expected you to turn into a total dick after everything."

"I'm doing my job," Gaara snapped. "My life has been laid out for me – I have a prominent job, a fiancée, and family. This is the dream, is it not? What you wanted for me?"

Kankuro had to stifle a laugh at the statement. "Oh fuck you. You're shit to Shijima, you're shit to me and Temari, and now that she's back you're going to be shit to her when you know she's the best thing that ever happened to you."

"She's the worst thing that ever happened to me!" Gaara's sand rushed out of his gourd and swirled angrily on the floor around him. "I lived a simple life before her. She deserves to—

Before Gaara could finish the rant he found himself flat on his back, pinned against the top of his desk. Kankuro fisted his collar with both hands.

"Don't say something you'll regret," he growled. "Don't turn your back on her tonight when they might kill her tomorrow."

When Kankuro finally let Gaara go, the redhead stayed down, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes clouded, and Kankuro turned his face window, pretending not to his little brother's choked sobs.

**XXxoxXX**

* * *

Gaara waited almost three hours after Kankuro left to see her. No matter what he told himself, it was only a matter of time. So as soon as the house was quiet and he had sobered considerably, Gaara took the long walk to the hospital. There, Matsuri sat at the front desk. With just the right amount of makeup and her brown hair grown out long, he couldn't help but notice how different she seemed. More still. More mature. Ever since his shameful advance on her and subsequent rebuff, Matsuri divorced herself from him completely. The very next day she left the office position, took up a healing apprenticeship at the hospital, and never looked back.

They'd both expected the first meeting to be awkward, but when the young woman looked up from a pile of papers and took in Gaara's disheveled appearance, she couldn't feel anything but pity. Deep down, she'd known an arranged marriage was most likely always in the Kazekage's future plans, but now that he was really engaged and so apparently miserable, it was real.

Whatever she thought about Sakura, it was clear she'd at least been the one to make him happy. And to know that the pink haired woman had affected him enough to put the job and the expectations aside – that it wasn't just a fling – made the whole situation seem so tragic.

Matsuri pulled a chart from a folder behind the desk and didn't even pretend to be clueless about the redhead's intentions. "You'd like to see her?"

Gaara nodded hesitantly, and she rose to lead him. Despite her slight frame, Gaara could tell the young woman had grown quite strong since she left his office. She didn't blush or shrink in his presence the way she used to, and her focus was only on maintaining the order around her.

"This way." Matsuri gestured down a dark hallway, and then a set of steel doors that sealed the prisoner's ward away from the rest of the patients.

Gaara immediately felt uncomfortable. Each cell was stark and dingy, with only one bed and monitoring equipment in the corner. No flowers, windows, or homely touches allowed. As he scanned the depressing area, he couldn't help but notice the green light indicators on each door. All the rooms were empty, save for one. After Matsuri unlocked the main door and started to pull back the dull white curtain, Gaara was quick to grab her hand.

She didn't even flinch.

"Take a second," Matsuri whispered, back still to him. "Prepare yourself."

It felt strange to be consoled by the young woman, but Gaara simply nodded. Kankuro said Sakura was in bad shape, but hadn't really elaborated. Even after reading the preliminary report his brother submitted on the entire encounter, Gaara knew he wouldn't really ever be ready to face up to the whole thing. When enough time had passed, Matsuri finally pulled back the curtain.

"Kankuro found her in the forest out by Ishi's Eastern line." Her tone was even and businesslike. "She was fighting some terrorists and caught up in an explosive blast."

Gaara couldn't speak. He'd read Kankuro's report back to front. He knew the story by heart, but it was another thing entirely to see the carnage first hand. The bed was small, and Sakura's pink hair was a shocking contrast to the dull white sheets. It had grown out long, and was visibly tangled. Her limp wrists were cuffed to each side of the bed, and looked rubbed raw. But even more horrifying to Gaara was the sight of her stomach, swollen and forming quite the obvious lump under her sheets.

"How far along is she?" He blurted.

Matsuri flicked through the chart. "26 weeks, give or take."

Gaara wasn't sure to feel angry or stunned. Kankuro hadn't mentioned anything about a pregnancy. Beside him, Matsuri looked to her former idol for any traces of emotion, but found his face totally blank.

"Was she…did someone…" Gaara struggled to form the words, and Matsuri gripped her clipboard a little tighter.

"I didn't treat Sakura-chan, but there's no mention of a sexual assault in her chart. Still… the only one she's talked to so far was Kankuro."

The news was ambiguous, and Gaara felt scared. Sakura had been missing for months, and anything could have happened during that time – with anyone. Matsuri seemed to sense where his thoughts were going, and directed his attention to something more clinical.

"She came in with an extensive back wound, just barely missing her spine. We're not sure of how much sensation she has in her legs, but according to the specialist, things will look good with physical therapy." She tried hard to sound uplifting.

When Gaara continued staring, mute, Matsuri adjusted Sakura's IV. "It's okay. Really. She's been asleep for hours. It's just the pain medication."

"Right," he murmured, gaze still trained on the pink haired woman's form. Matsuri bit her lip. She'd never seen him look at anyone that way before – with such intensity and emotion. It was new, and from her own experience, she knew it had to be consuming.

"I'll let you have some time with her." She started to turn on her heel, but not before Gaara caught her wrist.

"Thank you," he said. Matsuri didn't want to, but at the sincerity in his voice felt her cheeks warm with blush. Just like the way it used to be.

"Of course, Gaara-sama." She bowed low and backed out of the room. As soon as he felt her chakra dissipate completely, Gaara took a seat near the side of Sakura's bed. Her cheek was smooth and clear where it faced him, but red and raw on the other. He could see where the nurses had piled up salve to help with healing, and then covered with gauze, same as her arms.

Sakura looked so fragile, Gaara was afraid to touch her. Instead, he sent out grains of sand, letting it make cool trails along the smooth, unburned section of her neck and collarbone. He remembered kissing her there, and how he'd childishly thought of being able to do that forever. She had obviously hadn't been cleaned up at all since coming in, but despite the bruising and the burns, Gaara still found her beautiful. Without thinking, he let the sand continue to skim down her body, to her legs, and the pretty pink toes that stuck out under the cheap bedsheets.

They twitched.

"Oh." Sakura's soft, scratchy voice startled him. "I was wondering who was feeling me up."

"Sakura." Gaara studied her face carefully. He felt like panicking at first, but could tell by the droop in her lids and drowsy gaze that she was still heavily under the influence of drugs. He didn't know what to do – he hadn't expected to confront her ever again.

"Don't worry…" her eyes crossed a little as she smiled. "I'm glad it was you. As a matter of fact… you should touch me more. I've missed it."

"You're pregnant." Flustered, Gaara said the first thing that came to mind. Sakura closed her eyes, as if slipping off again, but then reached her hand out toward him. With the cuffs on – it didn't go far, and her fingers dangled pathetically in the air.

Gaara couldn't stop himself from reaching out and wrapping his own around them. It wasn't until they were skin to skin again that he realized how much he'd missed the feel.

"We should have used a contraceptive seal," she mumbled, still smiling. "I'm such a moron."

Gaara felt his heart stick in his throat. "What?"

Before he could back away, Sakura pulled his hand down, across the sheets and onto her stomach. It only took a second before he felt a strong surge of chakra, and his sand latched on to protect the round surface of her belly. Slowly, it expanded outward, creeping up the walls to cover them both in a warm shield. Gaara stood frozen at Sakura's side, drinking in the sudden feeling of peace. He could hear a heartbeat, and then far away in his head, his mother calling out to him.

Sakura turned her hazy gaze to Gaara once more. "You'll be such a good daddy."

**XxoxXX**

* * *

AN: So happy about the overwhelmingly positive response to this story! You guys make me feel amazing! :D I did notice some people getting a bit perturbed about the sheer level of drama and ups and downs in this story – this is a legitimately understandable viewpoint, and I admit, I am a fan of throwing in dramatic twists and turns in my fics. But bottom line, I'm sorry I can't promise you things will get better all at once. But it is a Gaara/Sakura fic so they will get better. I appreciate the criticism because in the future I may be a bit less heavy handed, but as it stands I have a plan for this fic to completion, and I can only hope everyone enjoys it, and to the few who don't, I'm genuinely sorry!

If anyone's a fan of K-Pop, I found BIGBANG's "If You" totally matched the feel of the latter half of this chapter, and made me tear up writing it! Give it a listen and read the translation if you're a glutton for some feels punishment.


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